ikri

Leaves on a hell of a high point, all the best Jonas

It all comes down to Charnley, he's been promoted to a position that he's completely unsuited to and probably lacks the confidence to sack someone. Anyone who gets in front of him with a bit of bluster and confidence will make him panic and do whatever they want (probably make him piss himself too). Plus, judging by his performance so far he's probably forgotten to employ his own replacement and just sits alone in his office all day wondering why no one is answering the phones.

If Ashley's going to hang around then he needs to reform the club starting at the top. Charnley needs to go, he's completely out of his depth, he had no backup plan in case Pardew left other than dither and let a coach take over, even the smallest companies have a disaster recovery plan in case something happens that could harm the day-to-day running of the business. Not us though. Next, get rid of the coaching staff. A club at this level cannot afford to keep appointing people to senior coaching roles just because they're locals or friendly with other staff. If Ashley has a plan to purchase players cheaply, show them off at a higher stage and sell them on for a profit then hiring a bunch of no-hopers who cannot work with the players being brought in, or somehow manage to damage them as players, is possibly the worst thing he could possibly do. Finally, invest in the fucking squad. Stop selling players without any plan on replacing them, and only replace them when there is a better alternative available.

Yup. Despite being at home against a team who didn't really care about winning we only had 41% possession despite it being an absolute must-win game. We had 17 shots but only 4 on target and we misplaced passes all over the shop (but glaringly messed up loads of passes in the final 3rd). The players again looked like they either didn't know, or didn't like their team-mates, constantly ignoring passes when players were in better positions, fuck knows what they do in training. I'm glad we stayed up but if we'd have been playing against a team who actually had something to play for I suspect we'd have been massacred. We owe more to the managerial abilities of Agent Bruce than the coaching of the semi-sentient lasagne that's been running our lot since January.

Jonas you beautiful bastard!

Jesus tittyfucking christ how do you miss that?

Our movement and passing in the final third is fucking tragic

Ashley sounds as nervous as a virgin on their wedding night

Gotta hope both us and Hull lose then, or hull only draw.... then with just 1 point from last 11 matches, his 'credibility' or whatever is left of it, will be totally shot. He still has credibility with some people?

He's a parody of a footballer, does that not count?

When we went down last time it was almost a blessing. We knew that we'd be rid of a lot of the shite that had done their absolute minimum to aid the team and for the most part they all buggered off to achieve nothing of note elsewhere. This time around it's different, I feel that if we were to go down we'd lose all the players who a half-way decent manager might be able to do something with and be left with all the dross. Carver & the rest of the fuckwits in the coaching team would remain, Taylor, Taylor, Colo, Jonas, Colback, Williamson, etc. all the dross in the team that should have been shifted years ago would remain, anyone else with an ounce of talent or ambition would be off like a rocket. If we go down we'd need a miracle to get us back up at the first attempt, more likely we'd just drop even further.

It's funny in a depressing sort of way. Ben Arfa was half arsed in training but often brilliant when the game kicked off, yet perversely the current squad are apparently brilliant in training but quite clearly half arsed once the game kicks off.

If he's in charge next season, no matter what division we're in, we'll be relegated

A lot depends on the games tomorrow. If the results go the right way then Man Utd still have an outside chance of finishing 2nd or 3rd, if they lose to Arsenal tomorrow and Man City beat Swansea then they'll finish in 4th no matter what else happens. We really need to hope that they go into the Hull game needing to win to have a chance of 2nd or 3rd, if they're stuck in 4th before the game even kicks off then we're fucked.

What's the betting that Jonas is following his doctor's advice on fitness as part of his cancer recovery programme instead of our coaching team's ideas of fitness that probably involve sausage butties?

Lee Clark has resigned from Blackpool, would never go for him in a million years but I'd not put it past the shower of shite running the club to go for him

I've posted that link a few times but this statement goes way beyond someone who doesn't realise that they're shit, this is full blown psychosis, http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusional_disorder

By the sounds of it he's not much more now either, unless he also forgot to hire his own replacement and now there's no fucker answering the phones.

Charnley's position just became untenable too. Absolutely zero planning for next season, he worked out his number one managerial target then did absolutely fuck all to actually finalise the deal. What has he actually done since Pardew left? Are we going to find out next week that he's not bothered to pay the electricity bill since January either?

Shows the astounding lack of leadership throughout the club, there is absolutely no one capable of stepping up and steadying the team enough to pick up enough points to stave off relegation. Even in the Championship season we had a core of players who took it upon themselves to reorganise and galvanise the team to get us back up, now? we've got captain cowardice starting fights with team mates.

Charnley will be in there to tell him how he's lost the trust of the fans and the players and that his position has become completely untenable. Carver will later give a press conference where he will reveal a conversation he's had this morning with a photocopied repairman who told him that he's doing a fantastic job in the circumstances and that he has the complete backing of the guys at Xerox

I totally agree, I just mean that a couple of better players could lead to an extra 5 points or so, safety assured a bit early and job done. Even with Carver. Carver's leaving out proper central midfielders to play full backs and wingers instead. There's not much you can do with someone that clueless in charge. It does make me wonder whether Carver infected Pardew or if it was the other way around. Similar stupid team selections, similar shitty excuses, same lack of understanding between the players. We can't be so unlucky to have employed 2 people with almost identical ideas on the game. One of these cunts has pushed the same crap for so long now that everyone around them apparently believes it. Either way, the whole coaching staff needs to be replaced.

I almost feel sorry for bookies in all of this, betting against us is like buying money at this point

Fuck me, that's just embarrassing defending

Any adequate manager should be capable of putting out a team that is greater than the sum of its parts. Carver, and Pardew before him, consistently puts out teams that are somehow worse than the 11 players on the pitch. A competent coach would recognize the weaknesses of each player and develop a game plan to maximise the strengths of the players available to him. We don't have a great target man up front yet we have wingers trying to put crosses in as if we still had Shearer up front. We have wingers and forwards with a bit of pace but we rarely try to make incisive passes for them to run on to and outpace defenders. Utterly clueless the lot of them.