Ronaldo

He would be, given that Lowes never once took him to task, even after utterly indefensible consecutive displays. He was harsher on McClaren after a 1-0 defeat to Arsenal than Pardew after Liverpool dicked us 6-0 at home. Pardew knew exactly how to placate and manipulate the mongish elements of the local media. That's partially why he was hired.

Absolutely worth his weight in gold. Happy to say that even though it's an old Gray Fifa quote.

There's nothing I'd rather have in my side player-for-player than a striker who routinely scores from half chances, like. Someone like Ba. It's basically a shortcut to more points.

Arsene Wenger.

What did Shelvey cost, £12m? At that rate Tiote's probably worth about £8.50.

Ancelotti was my first thought for them, like and they've got him at no.1. Perfect choice in pretty much every way.

When you're on a yellow for most of your career - a career based almost exclusively on tackling - I'd say that's a red card waiting to happen, like.

Maldini.

I'm quite surprised any professional club would want him, tbh.

I think he will too, but it won't be here.

He's had 2 good games in the last week, to be fair.

It truly was and you've gotta respect Ian in a way, actually. He defended Pardew relentlessly against all comers but the second he suggested Hatem should drop a few pounds.....well Ian wasn't tolerating abuse like that.

I agree with most of the post but he genuinely doesn't lack pace, like. Far from it.

10 points from our last 4 league games, like.

Yeah, Brighton win their home games and usually nick something away.

It was December they sacked Hughton.

Murphy better suited to any game than Gayle. You don't half talk some shit, man.

The bad games he's had have pretty much all all come in the Championship.

Do you not need to go to the Brighton match instead?

This is definitely true. Not a PL player yet by a long way.

He's unstoppable when he's fit, like. Like, literally, nothing can be done about him.

Aye, OK.

You've got nowt to worry about then, really. If Rafa's still here next season I highly doubt Mitro will be.

Thing about Dummett, his weaknesses wouldn't, in theory, be exacerbated by a move up to the PL. There'll be less of an onus on him to go forward with it and he seems to be similarly effective defensively. I do agree we need a better starting LB long term, though. Hopefully in the summer.

He definitely didn't play well today, like. Certainly not in the second half.