Ronaldo

Not sure if he’s a good lad or not. He weirdly gets a free pass for defending Mike Ashley for some reason, too.

2 goals from a penalty taker is a cracking return, to be fair. Take it all back.

I just don’t agree. I saw a supposed winger with no pace, no goal threat (in the PL) and zero real ability to make things happen away from set pieces. Just a poor footballer who like so many before him benefited from our huge lack of ambition and lack of focus on targeted upgrades. I know your attitude is ‘well he’s only on the field for 10 mins, who cares?’ But to me, and admittedly I occasionally get irritated by daft things, it just screams ‘club not there yet / woeful academy’ when he’s coming off the bench every game. He doesn’t belong anywhere near a club with any ambition, let alone our ambitions.

Excellent? Have a word. Again though, Rafa left 5 years ago. He’s been here since then because no one else was daft enough to pay his wages.

Bit of a joke him trying to take the penalty mind after his noncontribution to this season.

I don’t know where the great servant thing comes from mind. Was excellent in the Championship but that was 7 years ago. He’s always been shit in the PL and has been paid a lot of money to barely contribute anything on the pitch for 3 years.

Only because Isak hasn’t hit his prime yet, mind. He’s going to be better than every one of that side.

Kluivert walks into that side. Incredible footballer, which we saw in patches here.

Nah, he’s not in Schar’s league right now but he’s younger, quicker.

Your pal Alec Baldwin would have somat to say about being hopeful of finishing 2nd.

A very meh season (in context) sandwiched between arguably our 2 best seasons of the last 5 decades.

94-95. Pav sent off and replaced by Hooper. We win 3-1. Was the Sky Sunday game. Great times.

It would certainly help but they’re genuinely abject and we should 100% be beating them even without Joelinton. Just don’t play anything approaching a high line and we’ll eventually catch them cold - which they are for 90% of the game.

I boss.

At home to Wolves last season too. Great header.

Honestly mate I wouldn’t know as I don’t think I’ve ever been to North Shields apart from Wet and Wild and that bowling alley as a kid. Both class obvs. If Howden counts as NS I once had a filthy experience with a girl called Ashleigh there. Her house had no carpets, before original flooring was en vogue. Alty is lovely. Consists of the town centre, which has a bit of everything, then Timperley (the slightly more affordable bit) and Hale / Bowdon / Hale Barns - which borders the airport. Our very own Kevin Keegan lives in Hale, as does Roy Keane and half the current Man United squad. House values are genuinely mental even by South Manchester standards and the hipsters have been basically priced out. They have to go up the road to Sale if they want to live close, but come weekend the place is very vibrant. You see it all here, good people watching place. My office is very close to the town centre and the stupid things I see from my window is class and I wouldn’t swap it. Worth a visit if you’re ever down.

Problem is every other keeper in the league is off his line to claim that or get a fist on it. See the deficit?

Not sure what’s worse, Onana’s ‘attempt’ or the referee needing VAR’s intervention to award the penalty.

Callum’s scored 46/47 in 4 years, right? Isak will have 50+ by next spring at his current rate.

How many penalties won now?

Alty are my local team. Brilliantly run little club that will go places, eventually.

Swapped speed for weed. Changed my whole perspective on everything.

I’m not quite sure how we’re a point off 6th having played him for more than half the season. Massive weakness given the way we play.

He’s in Fratelli all the time with his Mrs. Nice chap apparently. We need him badly next season.

I think he’s the most talented player I’ve seen at us. I don’t really see anyone who comes close aside from Beardsley.