Ronaldo

Colback shouldn't be there either, to be honest. Hayden's a fine sitting CM at this level and will only get better. No way I'd be looking to replace him with Mbemba.

He's definitely been to a Turkish barber, like.

As you do.

Can't imagine Gerrard as a manger, mind. He always sounds pretty fucking thick.

It always amazes me how much of a shit people give about who else goes up. Who fucking cares, man?

Swansea to Leeds is much more of a fall, tbh.

Fucking hell, he hasn't been captured by ISIS.

Well, certainly when we've got this useless 11 on the field.

Southgate.

Someone wanna tell me what the fuck Phil Jagielka's still doing in an England shirt?

Fucking coward's tackle from Vardy. Horrible little cunt.

"Defenders mature with age." More cracking insight from Giggs there.

Please don't ever say that again.

Never heard anyone say that before, mind. From the tap it's gorgeous imo.

He really isn't shit at all, though, he's just almost exclusively a counterattacking player. If you want to play high press, possession football he's obsolete. Which is why I always thought the likes of Spurs - especially Spurs in fact - wouldn't be interested.

Well, I know a top with Brown Ale on it will sell much better than Wonga or EasyJet.

That too.

Where's the link? As if he'd leave LA to come to Newcastle for the winter and play for a manager he doesn't get on with.

Strange attitude, like.

I can quite easily say that, to be honest. He predecessor did better and I doubt anyone, as much as I like him, would've called Bert van Marwijk a top manager at any point.

Your point being what? A bloke who talked about retiring to Portugal after Man U in pretty much every other presser when they were actually doing OK with him (4th) isn't any sort of candidate for the England job. It's a long term project, not a job for a wash-up with little if any remaining appetite for management.

He also said Man U would be his last job in football. Stop wasting your time, man.

LvG's an old man with no real remaining appetite for management. Not to mention the fact it's been 20 years since he was a genuinely top manager.

You're rarely going to get exciting football at International level no matter who's in charge, especially outside the tournaments. Honestly I couldn't care less anymore, just put someone who knows how to win in there. I'd take the likes of Mancini gladly at this point. And not just because he'd piss off the press and the Great Escape brigade.

Are you on smack?