Ronaldo

Tell that to the two centre mids and the left winger we've signed, as well as the potential striker we are probably going to sign. You're worse than Ian W and Brett were, man. Pitiful stuff.

Gomis is poor, man. Rather just persevere with Mitrovic, Perez and de Jong than waste time with the likes of him.

Janmaat's obviously a much bigger/better personality too, like. Goes a long way.

Janmaat's better than Debuchy but they have similar weaknesses.

Santon was kind of the opposite to Dummett. A talented footballer and athlete who was consistently at fault for goals and didn't seem to learn from his mistakes. Didn't really do enough going forward either, mind. I liked him, though.

And a winger and a left back. Those are the 3 main on-field reasons we're 18th. The 3 most important positions on the field and we are/were lacking serious quality in all of them.

As usual, Ian, you like to absolve the club of all blame for such a predicament.

Who you kidding, man? If he signs he'll play maybe 5 games and never be seen again after May.

We needed a proven goalscorer, a proper CB and a physically decent CM with creative ability. We've got 1 out of 3.

27 in October.

Is this sarcasm? Anyone with half a brain would prefer Remy.

Imagine leaving Atletico only to be behind Dummett in the pecking order. This Douglas guy's sometimes as bad as his bald colleague. Douglas is right, though. No way an obscure loan signing is going to be picked ahead of Dummett.

Is he tweeting his bar/restaurant bills from Miami again?

I can't imagine him being anything like a very good player at Championship level, mind. He's so slow and weak both aerially and otherwise you'd imagine the better Championship strikers will have a lot of success against him. We've seen it happen at NUFC in the cups.

Gayle's just shit. Nothing to do with Pardew in this instance.

That's what sticks out to me. He'd be talking to the rest of the defence throughout the game to offer encouragement and ensure everyone knew what they were doing. The type of defender who sees it as his job to solely ensure his side doesn't concede goals. Just a shame his athleticism and natural ability were never anywhere near Premier League class.

Pellegrini's always so dignified. Impossible to dislike.

We will definitely still struggle to score, like. Totally reliant on teams giving us the opportunity to play counterattacking football to get goals.

Can't question his commitment? What about the time he got deliberately sent off when we were in danger of going down? I hope he's found out even in the Championship. Is it all a wind up or is this actually your level of intelligence, man? Anyway, terrible footballer, but a model pro in a lot of ways. Good luck to him.

Aguero's a fucking joke, man. How many times does he put half chances away when it matters most. Just an incredible striker.

Scored enough to get us 5th once and keep us up twice, like. He's not the answer but stupid posts like these this place can do without.

I think it's clear that some people on here actually want us to go down due to some sort of delusion that it will get rid of Ashley/serve him right. If anyone wants us to go down it's because these cunts deserve it. The owner, the 'board', some of the players and a big portion of the fans. It's difficult not to wish massive failure on all of them. Especially when you consider that watching us play Premier League football stopped being a positive experience years ago.

He's changed a bit. I hope he hasn't been through a heartbreak. I've never been happier in my life, thanks. Yeah, I was jesting.

This. Don't mean to be harsh Ian but you've got your head in the clouds on this one.

Polic thinks he's right (he is, on this occasion) all the time, mind. The arrogance sickens me.