Ronaldo

Dawson would be our best CB by a distance, like, much as he has his failings.

He's got at least 3 international tournaments left in all likelihood. Let's not go mad.

A lot of the most successful athletes ever to walk the planet didn't lift weights. Everyone's body is different.

You might want to research the Portuguese/Spanish climate a bit, mate.

5 defenders ffs. Fuck this club.

I wonder if he was being Pardewed when he was on the bench at FC Twente of the glorious Eredivise

I think I'd pick MYM and Williamson to start next season without new additions. Yes, I've almost been sick typing that.

Couldn't agree more, it's literally madness. Even with Ben Arfa you could bring in his fitness record and dodgy past behaviour to a small extent, but Mapou has literally just been left to rot for no reason at all. Well, I know you disagree, but playing Colo and Mapou together is suicide and the manager doesn't have the balls to drop Colo, so there's the reason.

I'd say that's more than Elliot's worth, tbh.

Who'd have expected it from the club who made a 'derisory offer' for James Perch?

He'd stand out like a sore thumb next to the likes of Williamson, Taylor and Coloccini, man.

That's misleading, mind. I maintain Pardew managed Hatem very well on in the whole in 11-12 to our massive benefit. Obviously he's made a shocking and cowardly mess of it this season. Not ridiculing you, either. Ivanovic and Coleman have track records of defending very well and making important contributions at the other end. Debuchy doesn't.

Ivanovic is a really good RB, no need to fuck with that.

Good for them, he's abject.

When I say going forward I mean as a general threat going forward - from set pieces, for example - as opposed to carrying it, mind.

Coleman and Ivanovic are better than Debuchy, man. Defensively and going forward. Amazed that anyone could argue differently.

Bernard Hopkins.

Rooney's going to have to start playing a lot in deeper in the next few years, like. Change his game a bit like Shearer did.

Welbeck could be useful, but only within a negative setup.

Euro 2004. Or when he got us through the WC qualifiers. The latest ones.

When we have different ownership.

Basically offering less.

£6.5m ffs.

Ben Arfa and Marveaux have been more misused up until now.

Ben Arfa's poor centrally. This guy isn't poor there, by all accounts.