Ronaldo

Please. As a football owner Ashley's an unambitious loser and it's reflected on each of the last 6 seasons.

Meaning we should spend £15m on an injury prone scruff or? He isn't injury prone. Even based on his West Ham form Carroll would absolutely stroll into our side and look bloody good in it.

That'd be a neat trick, dude.

Yes.

Need to find a balance, between price, availability and suitability. Won't happen, though.

Colo tried to do exactly the same with far more responsibilities. He's still here only because nobody was prepared to offer any money for him. Shay's a top bloke.

I'd much rather have a manager who would see us as a step-up, rather than a step-down. Aye, that's always worked in the past.

Is there anything at all he's good at, besides being a pretend tough guy?

It sounds strange but i do think the team we were able to field out last year has better quality on average. Tiote, Cabaye and Colo were incredible last season, Ba, Cisse and HBA just cannot stop scoring goals, and Krul were having a career year as well. Most of them were free from injuries and always available for league matches. I'm not having that at all. Cabaye and Tiote had good games and bad games. Tiote had far more bad than good, actually. But it was ignored because we were getting goals and winning games.

That is pretty touching.

Top guy and top keeper in his day but he's absolutely past it now.

Christ. That'll do.

Someone tall and cheap who can often boss Ligue 1 players in the air, would be my guess. Don't see how it could possibly go wrong.

That'll happen when you've got a player who's undeniably brilliant at attacking balls at head height and a squad that needs such a player so much it's beyond anything resembling a laughing matter.

We may have lost them all but the results and performances weren't that bad. I hope your referring to the first three games mentioned there and not the last three... It was a sarcastic reference to the latter. Apologies.

Far better version of Shola in a lot of ways.

We may have lost them all but the results and performances weren't that bad.

We're only the 19th richest club in the world with a multi-billionaire owner.

Would a better, more proven (in the PL) striker than Andy Carroll want to come here? Doubtful.

Now that I would be up for.

Yep. Scandalous price for someone who has had about 8 good games in 2 and a half years. More like 30 good games, tbh.

I don't think Pardew really factors into Carroll's effectivness. Pardew will be gone by Christmas at the absolute latest.

Wrong about Marveaux, of course, but at least he's prepared to call a spade a spade when it comes to Shola and Jonas. Every other cunt seems happy to pretend they're decent footballers.

No. Stick to singing songs about Jonas and asking Pards for a wave.

Legend. First thread I've started in years and I barely had a sodding thing to do with it.