Chris_R

I'm sorry lads, this is all my fault. I was out down the beach for the fist half, I got back in at half time and it's all gone to shit since. Don't think I've seen Newcastle have the ball in the Burnley half yet.

Gouffran off for Haidara? What the actual fuck?

Given the lineup and the opposition, I suspect we will win badly.

Haha, that's superb.

Aside from it saying "4-4-2", the ;s denote who is playing in what part of the pitch and have done for years. It's 4-4-2. It's Sissoko and Gouffran on the wings. It's going to be awful. The only thing that'll bail us out of this is that it's Burnley we're playing and not anyone half-decent.

Convinced the Palace owner supports us. Well to be fair, since it's a sticking point I can only assume they don't want to pay for Woodman. Otherwise it'd be done and dusted. Still can't believe I've basically spent 3 of my Christmas days off sat at my PC pressing F5 for about 10 hours a day.

This. Palace should just keep reducing his terms until he loses his nerve and accepts. He's painted himself into such a small corner now that he has to accept whatever they offer him really.

Can we all please stop posting when we get to the bottom of P665 please?

This is very true.

It's only the Palace press conference that I give a shit about. Until I see him there, signed sealed and delivered, it's not official.

I'd have opened a bottle at 6am if that's when the news came through.

This. Remember Cisse on the wing? It just doesn't bloody work. I'm not writing any of our offensive players off under this charlatan.

f*** me, they're dragging this out! Pardew's determined to make Newcastle fans suffer even now. Just sign the sodding contract and announce this.

Maybe they've met him?

f*** off It's just been on. It doesn't matter, he'll not be back here, no matter what. It does fucking matter. When this broke, I stuck £100 on him getting the Palace job.

I'm good friends with many people, doesn't mean I'd want them managing Newcastle. I'm sure Carr is switched on enough to be able to see the difference between a friend and a competent job candidate.

Normally I'd feel rotten about a hangover this bad, but right now I feel on top of the world.

Not crashed. Pardewed.

In about 5 minutes when I register and tell them. Where's this board at? Seems official enough now that we can start to openly mock them.

Chris_Ratarsed Chris_RIP. No way am I necking it ffs.

Whilst rummaging around in the drinks cupboard after running out of lager, I've found this bad boy: Mount Etna Fire Water. It's 70% volume ffs. Had a taster shot of it before I bought it and was half-cut instantly. I've not dared touch it since. It'd be rude not to, tonight of all nights. http://i.imgur.com/EqwmKyO.jpg http://i.imgur.com/5vE1SEH.jpg

That's good enough for me. I'm opening the champagne that's in the fridge. And I'm drinking it all, and then starting on whatever else I can find.

2020 Not sure I can wait that long, it's nearly 15 minutes away.

The people I'm talking to on another (non-Newcastle) forum don't deny that it's proof of mediocrity, but say that this is what we should be happy with as we're a mediocre, mid-table club. It's hard to argue with them because if you say we should be doing better than that you're howled out of the place as a "delusional Geordie". We should be aiming for 8th-12th. 5th cancels out 16th, and the other finishes of 12th, 10th and currently 9th are exactly where we should be. They see no problem. I've cited the s*** football but got "so what? You're still where you should be in the league". It's painful. f***ing hate this attitude in football- everyone has to know their place. Like social classes of the 1930's. Looking to aspire upwards?? Delusional. It's an attitude that came from the bigger clubs wanting to safeguard "their" positions yet has been swallowed by supporters if pretty much every club of every standard. Try explaining to your mates that you do not feel entitled to better than mediocrity, but you want to be better than mediocre. Ask if they'd be happy with being mediocre. Given that they're all probably Man Utd fans who lost their s*** about finishing 7th they'll say of course not. Then ask why they feel they are automatically entitled to a better team than you. They will struggle to answer in any way which doesn't cone across as arrogant as f***. Because that's what they are. If only they were Man U fans. The worst amongst them seem to be Norwich and Watford fans ffs.

The people I'm talking to on another (non-Newcastle) forum don't deny that it's proof of mediocrity, but say that this is what we should be happy with as we're a mediocre, mid-table club. It's hard to argue with them because if you say we should be doing better than that you're howled out of the place as a "delusional Geordie". We should be aiming for 8th-12th. 5th cancels out 16th, and the other finishes of 12th, 10th and currently 9th are exactly where we should be. They see no problem. I've cited the shit football but got "so what? You're still where you should be in the league". It's painful.