Chris_R

Hey Steve, I'm keen on fucking Natalie Portman but it doesn't mean there's any chance of it happening. Shut your trap and get on with relegating Hull.

Please just go, Alan. I want to get all...... http://replygif.net/i/789.gif http://replygif.net/i/870.gif http://replygif.net/i/726.gif

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To confirm this is not a dream, I just went and asked the wife for a blowjob. She told me to fuck off, so I know this is really happening.

Yes, Pardew's pretty much nailed his colours to the mast now. He's made his position at Newcastle untenable IMO, even if the Palace job comes to nothing. He has declared he wants out, even if that means going to a much smaller club in the relegation zone. It's not like he's been linked with Barca, this is Palace FFS. There's no coming back from this for him, the hatred will be even more intense if he stays.

Yes I cheered the Everton goal, initially feeling it to be another nail in his coffin after a bad streak of results, and felt little when we scored in reply. When we finally won I could only think "Well that's added another 3 months onto this cunt's tenure". Then by bed-time I was drunk with both glee and alcohol.

Literally, sadly.

I do have a bit of a problem with Pardew leaving like this. If he goes, of course. The problem being that he'll never have been judged sackable by Mike Ashley. I'm not talking about wanting to damage Pardew's ego here and have him sacked rather than just leave, but more what that says about the future for us. Ie that things have been terrible, yet have never gotten so bad that Ashley felt the need to replace him. That, for me, bodes very badly for the future in terms of who we're likely to get in and what will be expected of them. I'll still drink and wank my self senseless when Pardew goes, but I'll wake up the next day full of worry for the future.

Beardsley would be fucking grim. His behaviour with Ashley is already like a scene out of the human centipede.

I'd have got out and fucking walked.

So much for my sober night!

I think I've broken my F5 key.

Oh god. If he doesn't go, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. It's incredible that if he does go (can't believe I'm even allowing myself to type that!), it'll not be a sacking but to leave for another team voluntarily. How can that be?

I bet each of you a pint that Pardew doesn't single out Gouffran for blame for that goal.

Just checked the fridge - There's still a bottle of Champagne there. When he leaves, be that today or in 30 years time, I'm immediately stopping whatever I'm doing and downing every fucking drop.

Some fans are caught in a cyclical argument: Newcastle finish 10th, therefore Newcastle have 10th best squad, therefore finishing 10th is a good result. Newcastle fans should therefore be happy. That logic, and I can barely even call it that, is fundamentally flawed. We should always question and analyse, not just blindly accept: - How can we improve? - Where is the weak link? - Why was our finishing position not higher? - Where are we strong and where are we weak? - Who should stay, who should go? For me the answer is clear: Player recruitment is good, utilisation of said players is fucking terrible.

Disagree with point 2. We've got a midtable team. Its horrible how the wider football community don't see the other points. In no particular order: Krul Coloccini Santon Sissoko Anita Cisse De Jong Yanga-Mbiwa Ben Arfa Perez Cabella Janmaat (And possibly a few more) Those players, IMHO, are a lot better than "mid-table". Many of them have been Pardewed, sure, but under a better manager they would in the future (and have in the past) played a shitload better than being able to finish 10th-12th. Finishing 10th with that set of players doesn't mean that's all they're good for. They're underperforming because of a terrible manager who cannot get the best out of them because he either plays them incorrectly, plays them out of position, asks the wrong things of them or doesn't play them at all. See Man U in Fergie's last season and Moyes' only season to see how important a good manager is to a team. For me, he's the most important person at the club and really dictates how the players perform. You skimp on one player, you have 1/11th of your team playing badly. You skimp on the manager, you have the whole squad underperforming.

That "we're a mid-table team in mid-table" argument is so horrid. - Firstly, even if we were, we're not trying to be better than that. We're not ambitious. We're mid-table with ambitions of being mid-table. It's horrid. - Secondly, we're not a mid-table squad. Sure, we're not going to win the league. But the players on our books right now are good enough to have us challenging for a Europa League spot. We're not, and that's Pardew's fault. He's the weak link, the one thing we could replace and see an immediate improvement. It'd actually be harder to find someone worse, he really is a very poor manager so swapping would be of minimal risk. - Thirdly, we play shit football and are horrid to watch. Even if we finished in the same position (I doubt we would, but for arguments' sake) with a different manager, at least we could have some fun along the way. - Fourthly, Pardew is a despicable human being who I cannot embrace in any way. I'd happily swap him for someone with the same level of (in)competence who was just a bit of a better person. Any way you look at it, changing manager is a good idea.

And blameless. A fluke win and he'll lap up the credit. A loss and he'll blame injuries and tell us how great Everton are, which the matchday mongs will lap up.

I can see palace inquiring about Pardew. I can see Pardew being interested. I can then see Ashley telling them to get lost and refusing to release him.

If I hear anyone talk about "united", I make a point of enquiring about what aspect of Cambridge United they're talking about. It's petty and achieves very little other than to perhaps make me look a bit of an arse, but I can't help myself. At least Cambridge's official nickname is United, whereas Man U's is The Red Devils and not United at all.

Yeah, but Hatem was personally and directly responsible for us conceding over 3000 goals in those games.

Manager stability is nonsense. Getting a good manager is infinitely more important than just keeping one and hoping things get better.

Six wins in a row is all well and good but I still hope the lying, defensive fraud gets hit in the face by a speeding bus.