Chris_R

Why the fuck would they buy Henderson or even more ridiculously Cattermole? Be astonished if either of those transfers come off. That said though, they did spend £35m on Carroll so these kind of bonkers Liverpool/NE teams transfers aren't entirely without precedent.

Problem is, by the time Owen moves to another club (If indeed he doesn't just pack in after Man U) is that he'll be old enough for people to excuse his shitness on the fact that he'll be what, 32? They'll conveniently forget that he's played less football than I have in the last 3 years so should be fresh as a bloody daisy.

The man is just a massive, massive penis.

We paid those, the feckin midget cripple Aye, but since we were paying that much NI we should have sent the fucker down the RVI and made him sit and wait in A&E with everyone else.

That's like me saying I don't want to fuck Natalie Portman, I'm sticking with the wife.

Well the government won't have made much from the £12k per week NI. Would barely cover that cunt's medical bills.

Or maybe I didn't make it up.

Thought he went back ages ago when he got injured? Could have made that up though.

The can have Loven for £2m or Shola for £2m. Or they can have them both for £1m. Bulk buy discount.

Right, I hate Owen as much as the next man and would happily punch him in the face. However: We're the ones who were stupid / desperate to offer him the £133k per week, you can't really blame him for signing the contract. And we offered him a payrise and contract extension and he turned it down, yet we call him a greedy bastard? Tbh I think we can assume he's not on £140k per week at Man U so it makes the "Greedy bastard" shouts a little hollow. I don't blame him for the injuries either. Shit happens, again not his fault. What he is though is a lazy, self-serving, arrogant little prick who put zero effort in, didn't communicate with the fans despite being club captain, cared more about his fucking racehorses (that we were funding for him) and idly stood by and watched us get relegated without breaking a sweat. For that I hope all his horses go lame and his cock falls off. Let's target our insults accordingly.

Be absolutely delighted if we signed him.

I don't think he has that much influence, no, but if there's even the smallest chance that his actions are creating even the smallest negative vibe about Newcastle United, then if he's anything of a fan he'll wind his fucking neck in and stop being a dick.

A blind squirrel with an eating disorder would bray seven colours of s**** out of him ffs. This is Michael Owen we're talking about. True. Owen would get injured getting into the ring leaving the squirrel victorious. Though he'd probably still claim he was the victor just because he was present when the squirrel won.

Yeah, but I wish they'd do it the other way round. Ie instead of starting rumours that Enrique's off and our targets all want to sign for someone else, why not make up that Enrique wants to stay and we're after some great players or that our targets are close to signing? After all, the point he's trying to prove is that his rumours can be repeated all over the place and therefore all he's doing if it comes off is reinforcing through other media (and then therefore possibly across the globe) that we're getting turned down by targets and existing players want out. It paints a bad picture of the club as being an unfavourable place to go and might make impressionable targets think twice about joinging us. Ie I think he's being a bit of a nobber really. Though he possibly doesn't realise it.

I love it: This btw, is true and not a rumour That's refreshing. All these made up rumours, it's great to finally have a genuine ITK. It was on the French sports channel infosport! I'm curious... What makes this particular source such a bastion of truth then, compared to all the other media outlets round the world have so often proven down the years to be talking such utter bollocks?

Not massively surprised if they've told us to sod off for £5m. Might have got him for close to that if Wigan had gone down but not now. £7-8m would be about what I'd expect him to go for, and possibly then only if he whacked in a transfer request.

Quite behind Pardew at the moment, seems to be saying and doing all the right things, and looking at the right sort of players. Really pleased that he's aware we need more pace and is looking to bring players in who can beat a man and excite the crowd.

Beginning to think he just sits on this forum furiously mashing the F5 button.

We scrapped the reserves in the past and had to admit it was a blunder, can't see why we'd do it again. I know there's been a lot of personnel changes since then but surely someone is still around from that time, and must have pointed out that last time it was a shite idea?

Well to be fair Scholes was tremendous. A dirty cunt, but a truly world-class player.

Perch may be quick, but he's not good defensively. He lacks any kind of control, vision, passing, tackling or positioning. Coloccini got stick because he arrived for £10m and some people expected him to be amazing straight away, but he had a few iffy games and was then jumped on by some of the mongs we have here even though he did well in some other matches. Same with Enrique, he always looked (to me at least) that there was a good player in there. Perch arrived for a tenth of Coloccini's fee, with nobody expecting anything from him and with people thinking he'd be nothing more than a backup squad player. He's consistently failed to live up to even that low expectation.

What, like a firing squad?

Ginola loved the tabs too, iirc. Seem to remember him being OK at this "football" thing. On the other hand, I don't smoke at all and I get out of breath walking up my stairs. The cigs might knock a few years off Berbatov's lifespan but as long as he can live long enough to see a contract out that's all I'd be worried about.

Not sure how you arrive at this conclusion. Just my opinion. Barton's not been as effective as people think out on the right, most of what he's created has been via dead balls rather than from open play, and with Carroll up front to aim at. Can't think of many goals he's set up from open play since Carroll left when playing on the wing. Plus we're so one-dimensional in our attacks with only Jonas with any real pace in the side going forward. Quick wingers on both flanks would carry far more threat and give us options.

Gervinho - We desperately need someone with pace on the right wing instead of Barton, would love to see him play there. But only if we brought in a striker too. Gameiro - Could well be the striker that we desperately lacked last season. But we need someone with pace out on the right to be able to create for him. Fuck it. Looks like we have to sign both!