brummie

Apparently we are signing that Illori on loan, with an option to buy. He turned Sunderland down as "the city is too cold" or something earlier today, so that's going to go down well.

What a piss take. Pat Murphy is about the most reliable source you'll find in the west midlands, too, he's old school. Who the fuck do Spurs think they are with that sort of nonsense offer?

They have signed a few players today, but I don't think any of them will add anything to their squad. Exactly yet some of their fans think their signings sprees today are going to push them and chqllenge for a Champions League spot. That'd be ridiculous if they thought that. I find it hard to conjur up any set of circumstances that could possibly involve my club being owned by Porndwarf and Mr Tumnus and run by Karren Brady AND me being happy, but they've managed to rid themselves of the Allardyce curse, have a decent manager and have shown some interest in improving themselves. Still think the olympic stadium move will kill them, though.

That twat Andy Burton relegated to standing outside Upton Park.

Not unless he could get him for £45m.

Sensible, that. We need a more mature, sensible head at the back. We've sent Baker on loan for the season, too, which is also sensible. Clark has struggled a bit so far this season (although was excellent last) so Lescott as an option makes more sense.

£20m and never heard of him. We were linked quite a lot with him. He was supposed to be Bentekesque. Oh, hang on, that might be Oulare. Can't remember now. The problem with Man United being absolute fucking idiots and desperately throwing figures like the Martial sum around is that it has a knock on, and now any European outfit talking to a PL side about a player assumes we're all that fucking stupid.

Bournemouth fans getting cocky on Twitter saying Austin is going there and they are now a bigger club than us. Right. I loathe the fans of newly promoted clubs. They're always like this, full of themselves now they're in the top flight. Norwich fans are awful for this. Every time they get promoted. Which is a sentence which really says it all about them. Palace fans are bad as well. I had a look at their forums when we were linked to Scott Dann and the consensus was that none of their players would dream of signing for Everton since they are now a bigger club than us off the back of finishing higher in the league. For the first time in decades. By 1 point. We had Stoke fans expressing amazement Traore chose us over them. Some of them were suggesting they buy him and loan him to us, ffs Also Leicester fans incredulous Veretout chose us rather than them, even to the point at which the Nantes chairman rejected a higher offer from them as Veretout had been good for them and decided he knew where he wanted to go.

Bournemouth fans getting cocky on Twitter saying Austin is going there and they are now a bigger club than us. Right. I loathe the fans of newly promoted clubs. They're always like this, full of themselves now they're in the top flight. Norwich fans are awful for this. Every time they get promoted. Which is a sentence which really says it all about them.

I think he's going to turn out to be a great signing for us. Oh, hang on ....

But but but there's no Delph in there!

One of my mates is a season ticket holder at Arsenal. We often have conversations on a Monday about the matches we've been to, and he frequently tells me how awful they were yada yada. I honestly struggle to explain to him the degree to which we are effectively talking about two different sports, the quality being so totally incomparable. His conception of "awful", FFS. It's barely in the same arena. The only way I can imagine Arsenal consistently producing an awful as bad as ours would be if they had to field a few children, or maybe play in crocs.

The sky era has definitely seen the whole "massive club" concept get out of control. It is like a sort of mind-game version of transfer deadline day, lots of fart and not a lot of shit, just frivolous rubbish of no consequence. If it isn't fans of clubs which really have more important things to worry about than that, it is pundits doing it, players doing it, managers doing it. It has all the sincerity of the badge kissing player. It all rings a bit hollow when you've just finished 17th. i didn't feel too massive then, or in any way proud, it was absolutely embarrassing. Birmingham City have won more than us in the last (almost) twenty years, FFS. How massive is that? Like you said, HTT, the real issue is the complicit acceptance of mediocrity from clubs who used to aspire to better.

If i had to choose one, it'd be Marco Tardelli, 1982. Simple, effective, yet at the same time conveying the thought "FUCKING HELL! I've just scored in the world cup final!" in a way that anyone else understands.

This bullshit is the worst ever. http://media.balls.ie/uploads/2014/06/bebeto-brazil-celebration-world-cup-1994.jpg

re celebrations, this is the absolute best I've ever seen at our place. Carew after scoring against Birmingham, hoists a ball boy up to celebrate with the Holte End. Ace. That kid will never forget that. http://i.imgur.com/sCiZGBg.jpg http://www4.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Aston+Villa+v+Birmingham+Premier+League+KVl-uRux7DGl.jpg

They do seem to be absolutely obsessed with attendances on there. I poke around in a few forums of teams other than Villa, and that is the only place I ever really see that happening.

So, farewell, then, Charles N'Zogbia, and good luck with your dream move of playing in the UAE at the ripe age of 29. You weren't as useless as Tonev, I'll give you that, but you did cost 10 times as much as he did, which isn't too clever.

Jesus Christ. Imagine being PornDwarf's son.

That's what I don't get. Prior to Bent - ie when you got relegated at our place - all half and half badges nonsense on there, cringemaking stuff. Then we buy Bent and they absolutely hate us. The fact of the matter is, they didn't have to sell Bent. It's not like it was a John Stones situation with mega money being offered. We offered the money, they took it. Also, while the Bent thing was going through, the internet was awash with Sunderland fans saying "OMG! But we are in the top six and Villa are in a relegation fight! How can he leave!" as if being in the top six in January means you're a top six club. Only for us to go on to finish above them. Despite them having what was probably their best top flight finish in years. Their crowds are quite impressive, but then again, they're one club I've heard mentioned numerous times as giving an absolute shit load of tickets away every game.

Worth noting, too, we've just had the worst five years of most of our lives. Including the worst and second worst home league record since 1874.

So, farewell, then, Aleksander Tonev. You were really, really awful.

Nice touch from Jack Grealish today, after playing against the club he was on loan at last season https://twitter.com/Keithw65/status/636295078680637441

*looks at draw for next round* FUCKING HELL

Fuck me, Traore is a beast.