oldtype

Honestly, people who don't recognize that Ferdinand are class are just bending over backwards to slate England players tbh.

So, spinning off from the England Best XI thread, some genuine silliness. Assume an Alien mothership lands on Tyneside (of all places) tomorrow morning and challenges the human race to a football match with their freedom at stake. If we win, they go away. If we lose, they will colonize the Earth and enslave humanity. You have been chosen to pick a squad for the match out of any football player in the world. Who do you choose? My picks... <Squad> Buffon - best keeper in the world hands down. Van Der Sar - arguably second best keeper in the world, better than Casillas in my books. Given - Just had to have a toon player in there. Puyol - Captain. Best defender and central defender in the world. Although it might be slightly problematic if he doesn't speak english. Ferdinand - Excellent defender with exceptional skill on the ball. Materazzi - No-fear bruiser who can be brought in as backup when things get rough. Gallas - Versatility, versatility, versatility. One of the most underrated players in the world tbh. Swapping him for Ashley Cole was the start of Chelsea's troubles. Marquez - Another extremely versatile class player who can go up to the midfield in a pinch Zambrotta - Just the kind of solid composed defender you need for high-stake games. Van Bronckhorst - Again, a solid defender with plenty of experience. Lahm - Can be injected for energy and pace when we need to go on the attack. Miguel - Another full back with a good forward game. Combative nature should also be a plus. Gerrard - Best English player, best player in the Premiership, possibly one of the top five players in the world. Having him on the pitch lifts a teams game like no-one else. Deco - Not only a fantastic technical player but also the master tactician that will make the team tick. Vieira - Strong, good distribution, excellent at going forward. If all else fails, he can start elbowing a few aliens to give them some second thoughts. Emerson - Also an excellent holding midfielder. Can serve as the tactical linchpin of the team when Deco isn't in play. Ronaldinho - Just got to have him. Only fear is that he might turn out to be an alien himself. C. Ronaldo - Most dominant player in the world based on current form Totti - Through incredible class and sheer force of will, has single-handedly kept AS Roma as a credible threat for years now. Also should be invulnerable to any Alien mind tricks, since he hasn't got a brain. Robben - Explosive left-sided player to balance out the flanks. Drogba - Best in-form striker in the world at the moment. Could also use his diving skills. Also offers some aerial threat. Eto'o - As far as strikers go, the complete package. Strength, speed, and clinical finishing. Can't go wrong with him. Henry - Would you honestly NOT pick him? <XI> Buffon Gallas Puyol Ferdinand Van Bronckhosrt Gerrard Deco Vieira C.Ronaldo Ronaldinho Drogba

Should do it with the New England Revolution. Make them Boston Newcastle or something like that, and hopefully move them into metropolitan Boston. They could play at... at.... umm.. Harvard Stadium? They never win anything either, and the weather is just as bad. Perfect fit tbh.

GK: James At the end of the day, Robinson just isn't a goalkeeper who will stop goals that would have been scored otherwise. James is one of the few in England who can do that at the moment. While there are many parts of his game I don't admire, he gets in on the basis of that alone. DF: Neville Terry Ferdinand Cole The Defense line is unquestionable in my opinion. While Richards is a wonderful player and certainly offers much more going forward than Neville does, he still has miles to go before replacing a player like Neville and his massive reserves of concentration, experience, and character. Richards needs to be eased into his international role, instead of getting thrown into the hot seat like Rooney was. Ferdinand and Terry are just flat out the best English central defenders, and at a different class than King, Carragher, and Woodgate. Ferdinand in particular should merit automatic selection. Few defenders in the world share his combination of skill, stability, and the rare ability to go forward. Cole is just better than Bridge, who is just better than Phil Neville. England hasn't really got other options until Leighton Baines gets more experienced. Gareth Barry should play in the midfield which is better suited to his talents. (although I didn't pick him there either.) MF: Gerrard Scholes Hargreaves Cole Gerrard is the best player in England imo, and has proven that he is just as good at the right wing as he is in the center, and I'd much rather drop Lennon at right than drop Scholes/Lampard in the middle for Gerrard. Scholes wins out over Lampard based on recent form, and Lampard's sudden turn towards idiocy on the international level. Hargreaves is another player who I see as pretty much undroppable. He's the only realistic option as a true holding midfielder (although I wouldn't mind seeing Richards tried out in the role,) and prevents England from losing a great deal of posession by having to play Carrick who's style of play just doesn't seem to work on the international level. The only player who could potentially replace Hargreaves would be MAYBE an in-form Parker. Since we haven't seen that for a while, Hargreaves is definitely first in line. Cole is just an amazing player and light years beyond any other options at left wing. CF: Rooney Owen While I don't think they're a good fit as a partnership, the two are simply at a different class than any other English striker. No questions here. <Full Squad> James Robinson Foster Ferdinand Terry King Carragher Neville Richards A. Cole Bridge Gerrard Scholes Lampard Hargreaves Lennon Joe Cole Barry Dyer Rooney Owen Crouch Defoe

Assuming a decent manager ever comes along for the Super Eagles (which admittedly beggars belief sometimes) he will probably just kick some sense into the FA and get Martins reinstated. In the short term, good for us since we don't have to worry about pesky international friendlies. In the long term, definitely hope he gets reinstated since something like this has to be a huge blow to a young lad's confidence. While I hope he ends up missing the African Cup of Nations, he should definitely be back on the squad for the next World Cup. Doubly so considering that with their current crop of youth coming along quite nicely, Nigeria might very well fancy their chances on the first World Cup to be held on their home continent.

As long as we're dreaming... Hiddink>>>>>>>Scolari Especially for a team like ours I would think. I see Scolari as a manager who takes talented players and uses them right. Hiddink is the kind of manager who specializes more in taking s*** players and knocking some sense into them so they do their jobs. I honestly think he could come in and whip up a servicable defense for us within half a season without any buys. Could very easily turn the likes of Bramble, Ramage, and Babayaro into average, playable premiership-level defenders.

Excuse my ignorance, but how much different is that from the one before? And the one before that? and the one before that?

Good for you mate! If you're that sharp, I certainly hope they make you our next manager. Looks like we'll need one pretty soon...

I don't know if this has been mentioned before, but surely there was some sort of extrenuating circumstance that caused Roeder to pick Carr over Nobby? Perhaps a minor training knock or a bout of stomach pain or whatnot? I just don't see how he could be that stupid, Picking Carr over Taylor at LB is understandable on some level I suppose, but putting Taylor in over Nobby at RB after having already said that Nobby is our "first-choice right back"? If it's such an obvious choice that everyone on earth can see it except Roeder, maybe he just knows something we don't? ...I sure hope so.

Problem A Add to that other confounding variables. Have certain players played more home games? Have certain players played more games against weaker opposition? Have certain players played more when the team istelf was in bad form? Problem B Winratio: average 29.54 with SD 15.91 Drawratio: average 31.08 with SD 23.24 Lossratio: average 42.23 with SD 17.89 Pretty much none of the statistics, other than the ones with very small sample sizes (Oneywu, O'Brien etc.) are outside of two standard deviatons of the mean. Heck, most of them are within one standard deviation of the mean. Now I'll admit my statistics are a bit rusty, but following standard methodology, this means that we don't have sufficient evidence to prove that anything on that table is attributable to anything other than random chance. While I admire the effort in collecting the numbers, I don't think this is any more convincing proof that certain players are underpreforming than simply watching them and randomly shouting "HEY, Carr is CRAP!"

Judging by the reaction he usually gets, Roeder should just not talk. Ever. Then again, if he did that, people would figure out a way to slate him for that.

lol I'm starting to think that, despite the occasional shit that happens on this board, we still have the most intelligent fans in England. How any respectable site would put a load of bollocks like that on their front page is just beyond me.

I have a bad feeling that we're mostly just being used as a bargaining chip against LOM. I'll hope otherwise though. We can worry about whether he'll be good or not after we figure out if we actually have a shot at signing him.

It will be said, so might as well get it out of the way. "Horrible news, Shola should never ever play for us again" x1000 "Pointless news, Owen will be useless coming back from injury anyway." x1000 Three cheers for the optimism of the Toon Army

And thats from the official site I wish our official site were that honest. I don't know, I wouldn't want to be Babayaro's mother reading an article about her son on an "honest" offical site

How much does everyone want to bet that Alan Olivier will write an article debunking the Gooch, Coloccini, and Babel rumors tomorrow? I swear, these days I get up every morning wondering who we WON'T sign this time. Not who we will.

That's a joke, right? Anyhow, you certainly can't blame the club for selling Chopra. We wanted to keep him, but the lad wanted to leave. Can't blame him really either, it's looking like the best move of his career so far. Here's to Chopra making it big and us buying him back for 15 mil in five years time.

"Ramage is trying to play footall! STOP HIM!"

Perfect goalie for the cockney mackems tbh. He'll cost 'em 10+ goals a season, and they'll be happy with it, raving on about how he's world class....

I think Darius Henderson is the one selection that everybody HAS to agree on. I'll admit I'm fairly young, but has there ever been another striker that has been so obviously outclassed in the premiership?

I haven't seen that much of Traore, but surely he can give Baba a run for his money at left back? As for a Worst XI, you could probably just plug in Watford's first team at the moment, but if I had to try... Kenny Carr, Diawara, Ramage, Traore Etherington, Faye, Ambrose, Stewart (Jordan) Henderson, Zamora Personally a bit shocked that nobody else has been mentioning Darius Henderson...

That's just stupid, I couldn't care less. Anyway he's finished man, he will never be the player he once was because he's lost that sharpness and the stamina, and coupled with a lack of altheticism and a poor record of niggly injuries, the best he has to offer is fleeting performances against lesser teams. We need to stop buying players whose best years were played elsewhere Call it stupid if you'd like, that's how I feel. Besides, it's probably stupid to write off a 27-year-old as "finished" over a year and a half of bad form. Although, this being Newcastle United at all, I'm not exactly raving to stake money that he'll make a dramatic comeback... But I still think he's worth a keep, at utter worst, he's a decent backup at left wing.

Just imagine. If we sold him for 7 mil right now and he regains his old form back at Tottenham, the Cockney Mackems would never let us hear the end of it. Even if he turns out to be utterly useless, I'd rather keep him on our books than take that risk tbh.

Skirge mate you'd be happy if we signed Boris Johnson! To be honest, at this point I'd be happy if we signed the entire Thailand national squad just for the heck of it.

What?!... Babayaro is an absolutely aweful defender! And for all we know at this point, Bale could be an even worse one. Heck, if I recall correctly even Babayaro was considered "highly promising" back in his heyday.