NEEJ

Subscribers, you know what to do.

We followed that summer up with another shite summer, signing Carr, Butt, Kluivert and some other knacker (and there were rumours at the time that SBR knew bugger all about some of the those signings). I could've accepted all that if the coffers were dry but then we gave the pea-brained Scotsman 50 million to spunk straight after. If we'd let Bobby spend that we'd have been right back up there. No doubt about it. Milner or N'Zogbia?

"Listen, a lot gets said by these continental cowches about tactics or whatever you want to call it, but at the end of the day, it's about getting as many strikers on the pitch as you can."

He's so bitter.

That quip he made about how we would've probably looked to knock it long under Rafa and how the current gaffer cabbage "wants us to play", man. It was ludicrous when he first said it but given this knacker's ever increasing penchant for giving their keeper the ball back makes it all the more hilarious now.

He rag-dolled him a fair few times. It's just a shame he's absolutely useless whenever he gets into anything approaching a dangerous position.

Fucking desperate stuff, that. Murphy played really well after he cam on, but he had to bury that chance he thumped off the bar.

He's absolutely stealing a living. I think he's up there with the worst shirkers we've ever had. No redeeming features whatsoever, the cunt.

Isn't that just one of the many guises of GE?

Looking forward to Gayle getting the ball nowhere near the box.

He's such a gimp and a godawful writer to boot.

Does no one tell him that his relentless overuse of nonsensical soundbites such as "looking over their shoulders" is fucking infuriating for the fans of his teams to have to listen to? He'd be a lot less annoying if he was just a shit manager who said nowt. We used to joke that it was never Pardew's fault, but he's Mr Accountable compared to this joker.

I particularly liked the ex-pro (his name escapes me) who had a huge self-portrait hanging on the wall behind him.

Watched Pelé on Netflix the other day. Thought it was class. The footage of Mexico 70 is just sublime. I'd also watch a documentary based around him and his old teammates sat eating picanha around the pool.

I still can't believe he didn't shoot when he was through yesterday, like. It was absolutely perfect for him. He had the ball under control at full stride and it was on his stronger foot. He seems to take all of his shots with his weaker 'Cheesestrings' left, which also baffles me.

Aye, did they push it at all? I can't remember seeing it advertised anywhere even though I'm following both Caulkin and Waugh on Twitter and an Athletic subscriber.

A reported £3m windfall for Bruce if he gets the boot. I know it should surprise absolutely no one, but why do they continually enter into contracts that are quite clearly detrimental to the club?

It's going to be beyond grim from now until the Fulham match on the final day of the season.

Absolutely neeone marking him. Awful. Dubravka should be saving it as well.

He's going to be on the Italian I'm a Celeb? Jesus.

Are both commentator and co-commentator saying St-Maximum?

He really is thick as pig shit. It'll be a magnificent day when he's finally sent packing and we never have to watch him launch Hollywood balls at the opposition full-back again.