bobbydazzla

Actual CCTV footage of me and @El Prontonise versus an xG nonce

For clarity, I understand xG. I just think it’s stat noncery gone daft and there’s no need for Joe Public football fans to be spaffing on about it

I’m going to create a new statistical system that tells me how many people who quote xG have ever been successful in tapping lasses

I’ve come out of a match and said that hundreds of times I’ve never, ever, ever come out of a match and said “our xG was blah blah blah”

What is “clearness of chances” ? It’s just more nonsense Being 20 yards out and lining up a thunderbastard is a clear chance for Schar, being in front of an open goal with the ball on his right peg is not a clear chance for Miggy

Did we take a shot ? Yes / no Did the shot go on target ? Yes / no Have we had a lot of the ball ? Yes / no None of those is even in the same league as the xG gubbins

I know that man, I’m not daft It means nowt because it’s just some stat noncery thrown around by nerds I could create a stat that showed me how tight Bruno tied his boot laces before each game, it will produce a measurable metric but it’s dull as fuck and just stats for stats sake Here’s all the xG you need: Did we create chances ? Yes / no Did we turn those chances into goals ? Yes / no

It means nowt For 100+ years people have watched a football game and said “we’re creating many / not many chances and we’re converting / not converting those chances into goals” But now the Lawrence Logic stat nonces have decided to call that basic observation xG and think it’s some revolutionary scientific revelation It’s just unnecessary bollocks and the sort of nerdy borefest that’s ruining football as an entertaining sport

No offence intended like, but can I just point out that xG is a load of codswallop

Busy today so can’t watch this one but had a quick check of the half times on my phone…..

Nah, his PAYG burner phone will be red hot 24/7 with threatening calls and messages from various PL club owners And most of them are American so they’ll be hassling him when it’s jarmies on time over here Masters has got to explain to his masters how he’s going to repay them for their lost Champions League bunce

Masters thinking he can take the PL job, hop on a gravy train, maintain the status quo by keeping the cartel happy and he’s got an easy life for years with plenty of bunce A frontman, just needs to nod along and not rock the boat Instead he’s created a fucking shitstorm by accidentally blowing the lid off the scam, mainly caused by his mishandling of the cartel’s blatant attempts to stifle NUFC He’s like that Philip Green in Casino I hope the cunt wakes up every morning and hates his fucking life

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Where were these APT rules when Ashley was paying us £0 every season to plaster our entire ground in Sports Direct logos? No club in the top flight was screaming from the rooftops and demanding the PL do something about that being unfair and anti-competitive were they ? They’re snidey cheating cunts Fuck the lot of them

If Mike Ashley hadn’t sold to PIF none of these corrupt chickens would have come home to roost Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham and Newcastle fans now all refuse to shop at Sports Direct, Frasers or Flannels

Dodgy cunts putting snide rules in place to protect a cartel, get exposed and legally defeated for being dodgy cunts putting snide rules in to protect a cartel SHOCK HORROR!!!!

The club wouldn’t have have to put all tickets in a ballot just because we introduce member loyalty points or tiers Could still do what we do now, where you get several bites of the cherry: 1) ballot 2) member sale 3) ST resale 4) get another member to buy the ticket for you in member sale or ST resale 5) a season ticket holder can transfer a ticket to a member 6) wouldn’t count towards hypothetical member loyalty points, but someone can “illegally” transfer you a spare ticket via email If you really, really, really want a ticket and are determined, you’ll find a way to get one for all home games As plenty of us on here can testify to Only games I haven’t got a ticket for since Oct 2021 was a handful I was on holiday so I didn’t even try And I’m a bit of a weirdo, but I’m not some cyborg sent back from the future to destroy the ticketing past. I’m just very determined to go to every game, just like I used to before I jacked my ST because of Ashley

https://www.chelseafc.com/en/loyalty-points https://www.chelseafc.com/en/chelsea-official-memberships Our away games have tiers and whilst it’s not perfect and is open to being abused, at least in the main it rewards and prioritises people who are putting in the miles to follow us home & away, rather than putting every single one of the 30,000 ST holders into a solitary group

What people don’t like is that it’s absolutely impossible to get out of the bottom tier of membership. There is no way to do it. And the bottom tier of membership offers nothing apart from the ability to buy a ticket and some retail discounts that no one cares about

Which ballots ? As I'm completely locked out of Away games I don't pay that much attention to them Isn't Away games done on points accumulated, then if it drops below a certain level ST holders with no / low points can apply and attempt to build their points ? Or are you on about Home ballots ?

Aye, but you could make that same argument in any number of circumstances. "I have a Season Ticket but my job and family commitments means I can't go to many away games. Why should people who can invest their time and money to go to every away game have priority over me for Makems away, or a cup final ?" If someone was proposing that argument, most people would quite rightly tell them to get to fuck.

Have you had a look at the Chelsea scheme ? In simple terms; Members build points by going to games. The less attractive or further away the game, the more points they get. When it comes to Cup Finals, Away Games, Season Ticket waiting list, there's a minimum number of points required. So a member that goes to loads of games, gets priority over members who don't. But they won't get priority over someone with an ST who's been going to all league and cup games. Currently, our scheme means it doesn't matter if a member went to 19 league games and all cup games, they're at the same level of priority as someone on the opposite end of the scale who might have paid a £40 fee, clicked on a ballot entry once and has never set foot inside SJP. The Chelsea scheme for members is the same methodology as our scheme for ST's: People who go to the most games, getting recognition and priority over ones who don't.

They've got 30,000 ST's who get cheaper tickets than members and also don't spend any money on anything but peeve. Maybe their end game is remove all ST's and make every game available to any punter who fancies it. That'd put the cat amongst the pigeons.... First they came for the Mags members, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Mags member. Then they came for the Mags+ members, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Mags+ member. Then they came for the Corporate Box tickets for Wembley, and I did not speak out— Because I was not in a Corporate Box. Then they came for me and my Season Ticket —and there was no one left to speak for me.

I'd like NUFC to explain why they can't / won't implement a scheme like Chelsea, or Spurs A group of members meets the club and actually show them those schemes and say "talk us through why we can't have something like that please" What is their logic to have one set of fans (ST's) holding all the aces and the members getting nothing in return for making the effort to attend games. Many members attend all 19 games exactly like ST holders do, the only difference is that they pay for their 19 tickets up-front (often paying less than members) and have the same seat every time It makes no sense to me to have the current bare bones scheme. They would get some much more positivity by putting in place something like Chelsea's, it's such an easy PR win for the club If there's reasons why they can't do it, then it'd be nice to know what those reasons are

If they can find 3 bags of gear for £100 at 5am on a Sunday morning then that annual fee is well worth it