bobbydazzla

Whilst I agree in principle, someone who's been watching sports in integrated stadiums might be unaware that you can't shout HURRAH ! if you're in the home end and the away team score But if it's someone who understands the dynamics of segregated stadiums, then yes, they deserve a good shoeing and being dragged out of the stadium by their ankles

How to be a good "tourist" fan. Regardless of where in the UK or world you have travelled from: 1 - don't constantly film on your phone 2 - do get involved in cheering on the home team 3 - don't go in the home stands thinking you can support the away team 4 - don't constantly wave the national flag of the player from your home country that you've travelled to see play* *(N.B. If you're a stunning Brasilian beauty who's travelled to Newcastle to watch Bruno or Joelinton, then you are exempt from this one and also entitled to a free no-jarmy sleepover at mine after the game) Stick to Bobbydazzla's Four Commandments for Acceptable Touristic Football Fans and you'll have no bother, mark my words

We could also have a few snipers on the top of each stand, if you have your phone out for more than 30 seconds per half then it'll be...

Aye, you’re not wrong on that Plenty of people round here feel very little affection for being “English” and their identity is regional not national But also plenty in the North East that love nowt better than a bit of patriotic pomp and will be fervent England fans

Swear down on me nanna’s life I don’t support England, I have no interest in them at all (other than hoping NUFC players don’t get injured on international duty)

No one. I usually don’t bother watching England I’m from Northumberland, all my ancestors are from the North East going back hundreds of years, I’ve lived on Tyneside most of my life So as English as it gets, but I couldn’t give a shit about the national side

Would rather Newcastle got a win at Anfield than England win the World Cup

Sames Got zero interest in England

But the argument was that if English clubs get to CL finals and win them, then cogito ergo sum, England national side will win an international trophy To hurrah England to glory we should all hurrah English teams in Europe, even if they’ve caused heartache for NUFC, their fans are cunts and loads of their players don’t even play for England And I’m saying, absolutely not, fuck that. And questioning the sanity of any Newcastle fan that ever wants Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea etc to win any game where the result is of no consequence to NUFC

English teams have won and lost plenty of CL finals since the 90’s England still haven’t won anything on the international stage Maybe we’ve let too many of them pesky forrins play for our club sides

No, no and thrice, no Unless their win would directly affect NUFC in a positive way, no Newcastle fan is EVER allowed to want Manchester United to win ANY game To be honest, I’m flabbergasted at your admission

People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis and a Newcastle fan wanted Chelsea to beat Barca and Man Utd to beat Bayern, you can't trust people

Went a few times as a bairn and was told the matches were rigged to give the fans a show Still enjoyed seeing some famous players in a small ground though

Wew, what kind of freak have we got on our hands here You preferred Chelsea to peak era Barca and also wanted Man Utd to win a game Wasn’t expecting this kind of deviant thinking from one of our own. Worrying

I did think it looked very touristy whilst watching the telly and it made me wonder if we’ll end up the same by building the Sven Adult Books Magpie Megadome Kid with “Isak can I have your shirt” sign in the front row of home end behind goal, am sure woman with him celebrated when we scored So many people in pitchside seats watching match through phone screens Loads of Son fans who are probably only there to support one player rather than team he plays for Various other kids holding up “can I have your shirt” signs at every opportunity Plenty of other offences and misdemeanours, but those ones stand out

Only Man Utd, Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham

He’s got knob rot off some tart

TL;DR = Ange is a prick, howay the lads !!

The xG nonces won’t like this one bit

Poundshop Bond villian henchman HAULED OFF

People talk about hiring a CEO as if you just give Geordie Jobs Recruitment a ring and they’ll have some candidates sat in NUFC reception in an hour A thorough Director level search campaign typically takes 3-6 months as a minimum

Games where you’ve been utterly devastated by the result, but the match didn’t involve NUFC and the outcome didn’t particularly affect NUFC Man Utd beating Bayern in 1999. I could have smashed the telly to bits when they scored the winner If there’s such a thing as hell and I end up there when I shuffle off this mortal coil, then guaranteed I’ll have to spend eternity amongst the flames listening to Tyldesley scream SOLSKJAER HAS WON IT as a fountain of jizz explodes in his y-fronts and the camera zooms in on Schmeichel doing cartwheels like a 5 year old bairn

You can't have your cake and eat it Launches after Xmas when demand is lower and more people are skint = better availability for punters who aren't skint after Xmas when it launches