bobbydazzla

We’re only a week into Jan but that’s Post of the Year winner right there

Fucking light shows. Seen them in a few matches this week. Proper dogshit.

“And that’s Sunderland nil, Burton Albion 4. But we’re delighted to announce that today's official attendance is fifty three thousand and summat or other, which is more than the Mags can fit in theirs. Thank yew for your support” Followed immediately by scenes of rapture in the stands comparable only to a Champions League win

What concerns me most is that the stadium rebuild hasn’t started yet either

Strong rumours we’re signing Brazilian wonderkid Whoosh from FC Reetover Yaheed

Eddie says no imminent signings and avoids naming the current squad players that he thinks we could do with upgrading. Worrying.

There was a "7 minutes till kick off" announcement from DJ Doylem too. 7 minutes seemed a bit of a random choice, but I assume it's for the people still drinking in the Strawberry.

Have the co-commentators at Sky stuck a quid in the Zoltar machine or summat

Gadgie near me at the match just slagged the players off all game. Was shouting his mouth off that none of them are good enough. Not sure why you’d bother going if you can’t take any joy from our current situation. Some odd people out there.

Dunno how people drink San Miguel, I'd throw up

He has a fucking shite barnet and his legs are too hairy

I’d have assumed we were in the Champo

TL;DR

So lush to see the contrast under the new regime. Ashley would have had them kids working zero hour contracts in his tat emporiums.

Clive Tyldesley is a cunt

You could apply that same logic to about 90% of social occasions in the British Isles

I’d choose win the league cup over finishing 2nd even if the trade off was that I had to watch me mam and dad dogging at St Mary’s Lighthouse car park

Few people saying the earth is flat on twitter

I'd have taken Muller in his prime, but he's gone to pot these days

It's been coming to the boil for a few days now

Short arms are his weakness

Like watching a group of lads taking the piss out of one of their mates cos he fancies a lass and she fancies him but they’re not officially going out yet. I love it.

How much Colombian bugger dust you had up your hooter ?

My granda was a master baker and my dad was a baker. So I was brought up on pies and am something of an afficionado. Kennedy & Rhind in Jesmond are knocking out some hand made bangers, had a takeaway beauty from there last week.