bobbydazzla

Snazzy looking Vistajet chartered private jet from London (well Luton, but it's close enough) about to fly over Tynemouth and land in Newcastle We're trying to sign a CB from Crystal Palace, who are in London You do the math

Leverkusen are ditching their Castore contract a few years early because of supply and quality issues Villa and Wolves have also sacked off their Castore contracts now too

Kept Castore ? Absolutely no way For starters there’s the millions of billions of dolla dolla bills we’re getting from Adidas to make our kits versus the tuppence happeny Castore were giving us

He’s busy keeping the faith

Fucking Twatter man I’d believe Jay off Inbetweeners before I believed the daft cunts who post on the Twatter Someone needs to take Twatter to the middle of the Amazon jungle and fire a dart into it that’s been laced with frog poison, then watch it die a rapid painful death It’s the fucking pits man. Literally one of the worst things ever invented, along with Facebook

You can't transfer an ST if you've already bought a ticket on the membership you want to transfer the ST to. Got round it last season by getting the ST transferred to the account of a mutual friend who had a membership but wasn't buying a ticket for that match. Then they just forwarded the ticket email to me

That happened to me on my iphone last week and again on one of my browsers this week When I eventually got let in it chucked me straight out to the back of the queue

I'm 1200 and the "estimated time of arrival / people in front of you" are both going down at a snails pace Summats not right

I love sarcasm. I've devoted my life to the art of it. I even got my middle name changed by deed poll so I'm now officially called Robert Sarcasm Dazzla. But even a lifelong sarky twat like me can't even work out what's piss taking and what real in these transfer threads. People are concerned that a transfer that was rumoured on Twatter by a journo a couple of days ago hasn't been concluded yet. And naturally the only plausible reason for this immense delay is because we've been gazumped. The mind boggles.

A thousand acceptances

It's that apostrophe being in the wrong place that baffles me

Miniature compared to the size of Virgil Van Dijk’s cymbal

Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal

Fuck the stats man We’re trying to sign England’s current first choice CB and people are lobbing stats about rather than just enjoying the moment Do the amateur stat nonces on here not think the actual real life professional paid to be stat nonces scouts at NUFC will have assessed the stats in great detail and are happy enough with that assessment to agree that he’s a player we should be trying to sign

the stat & finance nonces will suck the joy out of anything they couldn’t even enjoy a wank without assessing the aerial ability of the arc of spunk as it hits the Kleenex and the FFP implications of paying for the copy of Razzle

If the bean counters are confident we won't break finance rules then who gives a shite what we're paying Why scrat around in the yellow sticker whoopsie aisle at Heron Foods when you've easily got enough money to shop at Waitrose

We're potentially looking to buy a class centre half and rather than embracing the joy and getting the Kleenex prepped, there are people on here claiming it's an overpriced deal and we haven't got the resources to do it We've got bean counters, legal beagles and a transfer committee to make sure the club are happy with the value of any deals and we can afford them without getting a points deduction etc. Just stop shitting in your y-fronts, trust the experts to manage the process and if he signs have a massive transfer wank

I’m willing to trust the NUFC transfer committee in their judgement on any signing They know far more than I do about who they’re signing and why If they want this kid, I’m very happy to have him here I’m just a nerd on a fan forum, not a professional football expert who’s part of a team of experts employed by NUFC to identify and sign players

0/2 ballot I think I've been ballot black balled because they know I'm so fucking rapid on the F5 fingerblast that I can sort myself out

Same happened to me on my phone