Pilko

Martins gets slated less than, say, Ameobi for missing a chance, simply because he occasionally scores great goals (last season) - Alkmaar (h), Spurs (a), Tallinn (h) to name a few.

Playing shit is a good thing?!?!

Pleased he's committed to the club. He's signing a new 5-year contract soon, not Anal Oliver's words, but his own.

A clean sheet would also be a welcome boost for Faye and Taylor who have both had bad games of late, thankfully both not together. Yet.

Just missing out The Championship completely? Aye? Yes. That's how bad it would be if we can't beat Fulham. They are a total shower. If we can't beat them, the Championship would be too kind a reward tbh.

If we can't beat Fulham at home, we deserve to be relegated to League One imo.

We should start Carroll - when it's mathematically impossible for us to go down. He should start any remaining fixtures. Give him a blast.

This.

Joey Barton was shit. That is all.

This is like watching live footage of the holocaust unfold. It's being hosted by Steve McManaman as well, just how I envisioned said footage.

This is like the Vietnam war. Doomed before it started

Team most likely to leak by about 7.20 tbh.

Relegation a good thing? Leeds, Ipswich, QPR, Southampton, Sheffield Wednesday, Sheffield United, Coventry and Leicester all say hi.

Come to think of it, apart from the fluke N'Zogbia one on the opening day, have we even scored a direct free kick this season?

Unless Keegan is on smack, there is no way he can include Smith on anything other than past merit. If he starts tonight we're going to lose, end of story.

Never pay any attention to the SkySports prediciton myself. We were going to beat Derby (a) 3-0 according to that....

Yeah, but we don't have any talent to start with.

So Martins and Postman Pat upfront for Monday night?

You've spelt Forster wrong. Would also have to have Krul and Soderberg in there IMO. You need to put Forster into your sig.

There's more chance that Steve Harper will score than Smith.

For me, the central midfield pairing will decide a long way whether we win or not. Butt and Barton, no. Butt and Geremi, no. Geremi and N'Zogbia, not sure. Butt and N'Zogbia, maybe. Butt and Faye, no. Barton and Faye, no. Faye and N'Zogbia, probably the best we can do. Harper Beye-Cacapa-Edgar-Enrique Milner-Faye-N'Zogbia-Duff (Martins-Viduka-Carroll-Owen) any pair.

Hope we sign Sagna

Oh and I'm very confident that Smith won't score this season. How embarrasing.

I remember one of the advertising hoardings at the Reebok said "Carrs Pasties". That's why he's so fat and why he's moving to Bolton. Sherlock.

On his arse. Except I mean the bench at Wigan, not as he usually was when a through ball was pitched to an opposing striker.