Pilko

We can only hope this repugnant cunt eats too much over Christmas, falls asleep in front of the fire and melts.

Joelinton on the pitch for 30 seconds and outran by someone who's played an hour for the goal

I can already tell this ref is going to be a cunt

Newcastle win both halves and most corners in both halves 66/1

I think Pardew was more of an odious cunt but a better manager, Bruce is a wanker and a moron but a worse manager. Not a lot between them, wish them both nothing but shit.

I'll be adding Otasowie to my bookings roster. Big gangly early age Shola throwback type who's cut about 3 people in half in 45 mins carded already. Think he was 10/3 or so pre game.

Neves and Brady 28/1

76 with Patricio and Werner to come. Salah captain, Robertson, Grealish and Wilson all doing well. Stuart Dallas has bagged 2 in 2 since I put him in his late pearler yesterday took him from a -1 to a 5

Christmas is coming, Steve Bruce is getting fat

Cash and Targett 33/1 Gallagher and Grealish 1+ SOT 5/1 Man U game was such a big bust for bets 8 goals of which none were by strikers and 1 card... for diving!

5 goals and not a single one scored by a striker

£100 from Harold and Vardy! Get in.

Harold and Vardy 2+ SOT 9/1 super boost on Sky.

He'll have been gutted at the red card, would have much preferred just a pen so he could scrape a point from behind and spin it much more positively.

Should be asking his agent to get on the blower like. He's better than this.

Cairney 2+ SOT 14/1

Longstaff card 8/1

£15k will buy you a hell of a lot of sewp, some effort.

That's the logic I employed

Alan Browne and Tomas Kalas in the Preston game. 16s

Pivoted to Maguire and Egan in play after the Sander injury.

Berge and Maguire at 25s

Tim Ream pulling rank to deny 16 year old Sessegnon a pen for his hatty and then slicing it wide what a cock

HBA scored a good goal and we won 1-0 under Pardew once, and Cisse's late winner in a 2-1 win were canny. Most others have been shite over the last 20 years. KK's first win second time around, Viduka and O**n in a 2-0 the only other good result I can recall. That awful 1-4 when Bocanegra scored was shite too, been some crap dismal draws as well.

Feels like the Amazon half time line is always "what a thrilling exciting game!!!" x10 regardless of whether it actually was or not.