Pilko

The universe dictates we must go into the derby either with injuries, suspensions, bad form or a bad result. Personally I'm just thankful it's one of the four and not all of them as it often is.

Not his finest hour, though he had the worst game of the lot out there. Needs new boots as well, can't recall a player slipping over as much as him.

Didn't really manage to get involved, did he. I'm the first to call him for a lack of effort but I didn't see that tonight, just a game that passed him by a bit unfortunately. Would love him to stick one past the mackems at the weekend.

Trippier had a good half other than the fuck up at the end, but on a yellow he kind of had to get taken off tbf. Tino's class, but there was just too many who collectively had a shit second half in line with Barca going up two gears.

Look on the bright side, Tino's never getting his move to Man City if they've watched this second half showing from him.

Fixed.

Can we stop giving away soft goals for fucks sake. And does Ramsdale fancy making a save, ever?

He's got this weird habit of not really being at fault for any of the goals we concede but loads seem to go in. Makes me feel like howay, you could save one or two of these for fucks sake.

We had a great go at that first half. Proud of the effort. Sadly, we've not been good enough defensively this entire season and whilst Barca are unbelievable, we gifted them 3 or 4 of those goals with wank defending and a keeper (either one, the same) who watches every shot fly past him. Please, please just win the derby. A defeat in that game would be so damaging and we don't need it.

No point even qualifying, the cunts in the luminous gear will make sure you don't get too far in.

Thiaw has been fucking disgraceful tonight.

How fucking easy was that man. Just me or does it feel like literally everything goes in for these cunts?

Little shit haircut cunt. He's fucking crap as well. Pen merchant.

Why can't we ever see a half out? Fucks sake man.

Oh finally, a card for Barca

Get your card out you fucking cunt.

Lesbo haircut Yamal with the pointless backheel to give us the ball amazing.

Two attackers amongst about nine defenders and they get the two touches to score fucking shite. Pathetic.

Fuck off lads. That's absolutely shit defending.

Ah so that's a yellow. Unless Yamal does it.

Get in!!

Elanga's touch jesus fucking wept.

For fucks sake man. Two lads slip in the same move and they score. Nowt ever goes our fucking way this cunting season does it?

Massive win for Gateshead, now only in the relegation zone on GD. Got to play York, Carlisle and Boreham Wood in their next four or five games but well in with a shout when they were absolutely buried before Elliot came back.

Why has Pep come dressed as that Kevin James shrug meme?