Pilko

David, this is scary, don't tie any more money up in Mackem workers unless you have to.

Got to help us this.

Playoff-bound Sunderland draw 1-1 with Preston on a Tuesday night Meanwhile, over at the Nissan plant:

Trent hurting himself whilst wrongly executing a thigh-level lunge on an opponent, pure poetry.

Absolutely outrageous goal by Yamal.

Looked like our best bet for a goal or creating something all night and that's how it turned out. Has to start the final.

Looks like he's wearing a pair of doc martins the way he's moving about.

Horrid game where basically all the pre-takeover lads who featured looked absolutely shit Schar, Wilson, Willock, Sean and particularly Murphy - chronically bad. Huge result though and keeps us touch-tight in the European race. Encouragingly for next weekend I thought Trippier was back to a good level there, Tonali bang at it, Bruno with an improved showing and a goal, Barnes looking sharp, Burn his usual solid self. Pope sharp off his line a few times and a morale boosting clean sheet. Isak was either not fit or holding himself back for next weekend, not sure, but fingers crossed he and the others are all unscathed for next weekend. West Ham are absolutely nowt, Potter just throwing on attackers into a shapeless muddle like a certain S Bruce used to. Still can't believe we lost to them earlier this season, if Bowen isn't dragging them out of the clarts they've got nothing at all.

Tino's one-footedness is killing us here. He's filling in and doing a job, so I'm somewhat sympathetic, but it just so happens all the space and openings are coming to him and he has to check back all the time which is canny infuriating to watch.

Both sides making University Challenge at 8.30pm look like a very appealing option here.

Definite B for me, but big A potential.

Brilliant goal that, the cross and the finish both spectacular.

Romero's absolutely chod

Has to be an E. He's barely been trusted to see the pitch unless it's lower league opposition.

Sits somewhere in the D+, C- zone for me. He's a good lad so I'll go C-.

Says a lot about his character that he was determined to join in the five-a-sides with both his legs in plaster, fair play to him.

What absolutely shit news, again. We desperately need to freshen up CB come the summer. Feels like years since we had any pace there.

Everything just seems to go for these fuckers, even when they're shit they win.

Get kicking please PSG

get ready for the Fab and Dan masterclass a week on Sunday lads.

Real pity for him, he's been great for us. If Isak's out too I'm not even sure I can be arsed to watch it. We're just not allowed to be competitive one way or another.

Isak plays, I think, but I could see him being withdrawn after an hour or so and we'll be treated to another glimpse of Cal's Last Dance. The slow dance.

Really tough to predict anything but misfortune and shit, given it's the leadup to a cup final. Would love to be surprised and see us play well and win. They're a way down the table for a reason.

There's a pattern to it, which is probably more concerning than the odd random loss now and again which will happen to all but the very top teams. Lose next Monday and you wonder if Fulham and West Ham are joining the list.

Got to hope he can use West Ham to get back into the swing of things before the cup final, where one of his "quiet but scored" games would be frankly lovely.