Pilko

If he could take Gouffran as well as Woody Cuntpecker then that'd be just swell.

I hope the Crystal Palace fans are ready for the sea lion quiz.

Ryder probably doesn't even know what day of the week it is. Hopefully his 100% guesswork is correct on this occasion.

I'm sure Murray used to get loads of abuse on here when he prevented MoTD2. This is the best 5 minutes or so of coverage I've heard re: our situation from anyone in years.

Murray is sticking up for us to be fair.

Tim Sherwood is the new Curbishley, linked to every job going.

They're talking on Talksport about "who would be each club's player manager?" Someone just said Steven Taylor ffs.

Warnock's Talksport interview was really good I thought, he was under absolutely no illusions that he was merely a stop-gap manager and despite the fact he's a big-mouth and a bit of a cock, he comes across as quite genuine.

I'm predicting a Carver/Beardo interim joint-managership, and then a panicked appointment of some "remember the 90s?" dinosaur in early March when we're not looking quite safe. Colin Todd, Dave Merrington, Phil Neal, John Deehan, Dave Bassett... that sort.

Ally McCoist, I bet.

Stoke 1-2 Man Utd Aston Villa 0-2 Crystal Palace (new manager bounce innit) Hull 1-1 Everton Liverpool 3-1 Leicester Man City 2-0 Sunderland Newcastle 2-1 Burnley QPR 2-2 Swansea Southampton 1-2 Arsenal West Ham 0-0 West Brom Spurs 0-1 Chelsea

It'd be hilarious if he was manager, but if it made them sign another CB then I'm all for it tbh.

Crap 1-1 regardless of who's in the dugout.

I've been out on the piss since 12pm as this has all unfolded. Best day ever. When he actually leaves I'm repeating the trick.

Because of the utterly fucking ridiculous "look at my sad face, I scored but I used to play for them so I'll pretend to be sad" routine from Song. I hate that "respect for former club" nonsense. I understand not wanting to celebrate like Marco Tardelli against a former club if it's one where a good relationship with the fans still exists; but the hangdog expression of being gutted to score is fucking daft, like.

Carver even doing the Beeb interviews for MOTD. Interesting; if there was absolutely no legs in the Palace thing whatsoever then Pardew would surely just say so and put it to bed? I think the fact there's interest from Palace and he's considering his options are fairly obvious statements.

Good goal. About time he contributed something, it's the end of December and he's played every pissing game pretty much.

Dave Bassett is waiting by the phone

He's absolutely gash, wish he'd fuck off.

He's mint. Puts Riviere to shame.

Williamson, Tiote and Gouffran Get your bets on Everton.

Here comes the Gouffran

Everton at 8/5-ish is printing money IMO.

Spurs X-X Man U Southampton 1-3 Chelsea Villa 1-1 Sunderland Hull 1-1 Leicester Man City 4-0 Burnley QPR 1-2 Palace Stoke 2-0 West Brom West Ham 0-2 Arsenal Newcastle 1-2 Everton Liverpool 1-1 Swansea

I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread and then I realised it said "cult hero".