Neil

Malouda captain, get in. Otherwise, fuck all IIRC.

Oui?

We're fucking shit at this opening day thing. Roll on the 2nd half of the season.

STEVE BRENNER last night revealed the savage attack he received from Newcastle target Hatem Ben Arfa. "Chairs thrown & all sorts" were the QUALITY journalist's words. More to follow.

Officials close to the deal suggested "so err, is it confirmed yet?" before James finally fucked off to Glasgow.

What the shit is happening?

Yep. Even amongst some of our own fans. He plays very well in the centre but doesn't get many games there because we've got the likes of Fellaini, Arteta & Cahill. Still does a pretty good job on the right though, high workrate and gets his fair share of goals & assists every season. Just lacks that bit of pace and strength to be real quality. He'd probably suit Italy well tbf. I've probably been overly harsh on Osman in the past (just a bit). I don't know. He has a Jermaine Jenas "what does he do?" about him, but in the past year or 2 he has contributed more so I'm willing to keep with him. Don't see him as a starter though.

So, err, 134 pages in, has anything actually happened? Are you getting him?

The Sun must have been disappointed they didn't get this story out before Ibra publically stated his desire to stay at Barca. Which leaves only one topic for this thread: does he turn up for big games? [/boring]

I'd be disappointed with a draw at the weekend. We should be looking to win away games like this. So we'll probably lose 1-0. Will post my accy at some point nearer the big kick off.

Don't mind him. And I agree with him with this prediction.

That's a good point actually.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

If anything, Ireland is overrated. I haven't seen him do much to warrant the praise he gets. Big year for him.

Yep. Really does seem like a player who puts in effort once every 4/5 games. Similar to your mate, the Mackem lad I know is pleased to see him leave.

1 Man Utd - glory for the gloryhunters, and will prove those who say it's a weak squad, wrong. 2 Chelsea - well I don't know. It's a tossup between these 2, yet again. Yawn. 3 Arsenal - passpasspasspasspasspassshitwelost 4 Everton - because I can. And we have the best squad in my lifetime and avoiding injuries, we can do great things this year. 5 City - ok so they'll probably finish 4th, but my optimism got the better of me, ok? 6 Liverpool - average defence, Masch probably off, and an over-reliance on Gerrard and Torres. I think Cole will do well, however. 7 Spurs - after committing paedophillia to get to the CL group stages, they'll lose points in games directly after group games and as such, will lose ground. 8 Villa - dependant on a) a decent managerial appointment and b) re-investing the Milner money wisely. They could finish lower. 9 West Ham - think Grant will do a good job. 10 Sunderland - entirely reliant on whether Bent fancies carrying them again. 11 Birmingham - another season of neck strain for the midfielders 12 Fulham - same old (perhaps top 10, Hughes is a canny manager) 13 Stoke - same old 14 Blackburn - another season of neck strain for the midfielders (same old) 15 Bolton - same old 16 Newcastle - just about safe 17 Wolves - won't make the forward steps their investment may suggest 18 Wigan - thank fuck 19 West Brom - what a shock 20 Blackpool - lol

Oh dear EthiGeordie. RIP, particularly sad because of the great work he has put into keeping Southampton alive.

To continue the earlier discussion of the state of their squad: it couldn't be more average by PL standards if it wanted to. Can see nothing other than a 10th-12th place finish, purely because they have a striker who'll bang in 20 goals to ensure they won't be fighting relegation.

Can't be arsed to drag out a post from months ago but I still maintain Roberts would be a good signing for you, this season.

Oh, and a non-playing gripe: the fact I'm always the one (and one other lad who sometimes does it) organising it because no-one else can be bothered.

"...gives the ball to Rooney, who of course scored that sensational volley against United's opponents tonight, a few years ago." How long before reference to that Rooney goal? I'm going for 8 minutes.

People who can't do the basics. No-one is expected to have superhuman skill or athleticism but when people can't do stuff like give an option after passing the ball or keep with their man it's extremely annoying. Simple pass and move, and stay with your man. Simples, surely? On a related topic, although neat passing moves are great, there's nothing like smashing it in from distance.

Yup. Hard to recall a more accurate definition of a one-man team than last season, and not a lot has changed. I hope Bent gets crocked just to laugh at them panicking and much ing going on.

Hard to say who got the better end of the Jones deal. Probably Stoke. He'll fit into the way they play, and although Sunderland got a more than fair price for him, they are very short up front. Unless Bent completely carries them for another season. Although I guess Bruce will resolve the lack of strikers by probably buying another so-so central defender.

Don't think Sky could have handpicked a better tie for the 2nd round really.