The Prophet

So far so good.

A rolling bet that makes the week more interesting: Tonight: Fulham to beat Swansea Millwall to beat Cheltenham Tomorrow: Munich to beat Lisbon Thursday: CSKA to beat Villa Standard Liege to beat Braga Hopefully it isn't killed off tonight. The win is around 30/1, stuck three quid on

Consider us half-won then because Cahill is suspended A bit of positive news at least, there again I forgot Jo even played for them until about two minutes ago.

Everton are playing well but notoriously don't perform up here so I think we could well get something from the game. If we can keep Jagielka's hands full and make sure Cahill is shackled in the air that's half the battle. Then it's up to the defence to make sure they don't give away any silly set pieces and keep space down to a minimum.

I've really got to stop betting on value, well after tonight anyway: CSKA to beat Villa Deportivo to beat Aalborg Standard Liege to beat Braga All away wins at 21/1

http://drgloom.co.uk/ His post match rants used to provide a chuckle or two.

Obvious one this, of course we're being priced out of the game. Football used to about the fans, now it's all about the money, ran like a cash cow. The fans, they're at the back of everyone's mind. It's getting to the stage where the working man doesn't want to pay a hundred quid for a day out to go and see wankers like David Bentley lunge around on a football field, it's ridiculous.

This year the Premier League has been tight as a duck's chuff, especially down the bottom. I think depending on the club you can fit the reason for their position into a certain category. Obviously you've got the three promoted teams who are trying to bridge the massive gulf in quality. You've got your teams who have or are in the process of selling off their assets in the first team and are regressing as a consequence, take Portsmouth or Blackburn as an example. You've got the teams consolidating after avoiding the drop last year like your Sunderlands and Boltons. And you've got your teams who just aren't doing enough to get to the next level and as a consequence are playing catch up with those above. This includes Middlesborough. Now I know these are broad categories, we aren't ran in the same way but both clubs are similar in the way they just seem to be floating, not progressing, not regressing and as a consequence they've been caught up in the shit, obviously the quality we already had at the club seems to put us in a more favourable position. Now I know Ashley financially plugging gaps right left and centre but I know what NE5 is trying to say. If you want to get to the top and you want to get there quickly, you have to get your hand in your pocket. Take a look at Chelsea and probably sooner or later Man City, they're racking up huge debts, turning over massive losses but as a consequence they'll win trophies and qualify for Europe. Qualifying for Europe brings the club more fans and sponsors world wide. The more popular the club becomes the more revenue generate and slowly but sooner or later the debt is payed off. You also have to consider the consequences of getting it wrong, the example I missed in Spurs. They have rich owners who spent big and nearly got into the Champions League but after continuing to add to the squad they made no progress. They shuck things up last season while near enough breaking even and this put them in a worse position still with the threat of relegation growing by the game. I suppose this is what we tried to do after the glory years under Shepherd and it's one of the reasons are finances are in such a mess now. We budgeted big and got it wrong. Now taking these examples you've got to ask is this club in the position and does Ashley have the wealth to take the gamble of budgeting for Europe? We're already in pretty poor financial shape so is it really worth poking more holes in the ship without considering the consequences of getting it wrong? Ashley is talking of modelling ourselves on Villa, but you've got to remember Ellis ran a pretty tight ship before Lerner built on that foundation. Perhaps it would be sensible to get ourselves on steady financial ground before taking another gamble just in case it does go wrong. Personally I'm willing to give Ashley the benefit of the doubt. He hasn't done a great job so far but currently he's keeping the club afloat. If he does intend to increase investment as we steady the ship then I'm OK with that. However if he wants to carry on spending next to nothing year after year he needs to sell up now or this club will go down sooner or later. To progress you have to spend money in some kind of capacity, will Ashley do this? I don't know, I’m not a mind reader, but if he doesn't start soonish the rats will start leaving the sinking ship and staying in this league will become harder still.

More attention for themselves in the press. Yeah they'll draw attention to themselves... "Look at those fucking morons" type attention.

A protest rally? Jog my memory, what is this meant to achieve?

How the fuck is: a) Young still not getting a start? b) Downing, one of the most overrated players in the leage even in the squad?

ITV1 Cheers.

What channel is it on?

I have pretty mixed feelings on the group. I like the concept but let’s face it they are always going to be rightly or wrongly viewed as a group who formed on the back of a knee jerk reaction. If I felt the group was going to make some sort of progress in terms with helpful communication with the group I'd attend their meetings but every time they make some form of public announcement they come across as clueless fools on a crusade to settle the score with Ashley and Co. I know they may insist this is not the case but it very much looks that way, for progress to occur on their part public image is everything. Then I happen to stumble across this meeting they broadcasted. I agree with some of the views, then I here about this rally their planning and they are back at square one. I like what they're trying to achieve, but the way they go about is very much a mixed bag. They need to start acting professionally in order to be taken seriously and as far as I'm concerned rallies and childish snipes aimed at the board (whether in retaliation or not) are just the opposite, they're shooting themselves in the foot.

Too slow.

Aye in terms of injury he's been unlucky but when he's actually played I don't think there's a more clinical finisher in the league.

Not a fan then? Seriously my hatred for them is on par with Man United man. Gibson is such a small time, smug cunt who think he's some form of role model, yeah you've just appointed a manager who looks like he's had seven shades of shit knocked out of him with the ugly stick mate, must of knocked some sense out of him as well.

In the Premier League alone: Shevchenko, Pavlyuchenko, Babel, Keane, Crouch, Bianch, Jo (in his first spell at City), Bojinov (although the lads has been damn unlucky), Alves. If I think of any more I'll add them.

Middlesborough - Can't stand those dirty, horrible, game moving, stadium wasting, top half lacking, spilt milk crying tossers. Would absolutely love it if they went down. Bolton - At least Stoke have an excuse to play the long ball game, how many years have this lot been in the top flight now? Yet they're still a bunch of long ball playing cloggers despite having some half talented players. The atmosphere at the Reebok deserves to get the team relegated alone, but can you blame them with the excruciating neck ache that inevitably follows each game. Tottenham - Because it would be funny. Think I'd have to be stretchered to hostpital with a laughing attack.

8:00 Joe arrives at the address where Freddy arranged for him to meet Willy, a run-down office block. After waiting round for a couple of minutes Joe here’s a voice calling him. “Hey over here” calls a smooth Scottish accent. Joe intrigued trots over. “Looking for an elusive trophy signing I hear” says Willy half talking have laughing. “I can’t believe my luck but I’m just your man, now if you come up to my office we can discuss things.” Joe and Willy head for the office block. Back at base Dennis hears a knock at the door. “Who the fuck” he mumbles to himself. Annoyed he slowly opens the door peeping round to see who’s there. “Hey Dennis got any news?” asks an excited journalist. “Not now David” says Wise in a stern voice. “Nothing at all?” enquires a desperate David. “Give it a couple of hours Mike, Derek, Joe and Myself are all working our arses off at the moment, I’ll send you some sarnies and tea out courtesy of Mike.” “Thanks.” Grateful, David bounces back across the field. Wise leans against the closed door “They’re here already that’s all I fucking need” he whispers under his voice. He walks over to the desk picks up the phone and dials a number. “Is Mike on his way?” he asks. “Excellent news, you know what to do,” Dennis hangs up smug grin on his face. Back at the office Joe and Willy are analysing player profiles. “Is he Irish?” asks Kinnear. “Don’t you want to know if he’s any good?” Willy retorts. “Who’s this character? V-vee-l-lo-soo?” asks a tentative Joe. “Oh he’s a real top of the range trophy signing, sign him and the fans will be dancing in the streets” Willy replies. “Hmm sound risky, got any one who’s primed for a relegation scrap? Someone Irish maybe?” Willy laughs. “Ok Joe your office is my office we need the player that is right for you, here I’ll go get another file and a cupa” Through the back Willy makes a phone call to Dennis. “He’s a fucking moron” Willy hisses. “Just keep him distracted I’ll give you a text when you’re free and clear.” “Alright” replies Willy hanging up. Dennis hears a knock at the door it’s Jeff and Tony. “Good to see you” he says smiling at Tony. “What do you want us to with him?” asks Jeff. “Right I’ll take some snacks over to the press over, you bungle him into the back” Dennis tells them. The plan runs smoothly Dennis returns to the building. Inside is Mike tied up and gagged. Dennis lowers the gag. “What are you going to with me?” Mike squeals. “Nothing so long as you do as you’re told” Dennis tells him. He then turns to Tony. “You can leave now, I’ll give you a call should I need anything.” “Righto” says Tony who promptly leaves. Back at Willy’s Joe has found his man. “So apart from the false leg and gambling problem he’s decent?” he asks. “Yes, yes” says a smirking Willy, “fit for any kind of scrap.” Joe drives off pleased with himself. Willy rings Dennis “he left early.” “Man am I the only one with any kind of brains around here, make sure he doesn’t get back in time” demands Dennis. Willy hangs up, gets in his car, and drives after Joe.

Yes me friends with everyone at lectures, me currently up to date with work and with no TV, boredom has struck again. After a tired attempt at something similar at an earlier date I've yet more zany information about how events unfolded on deadline day, below is the first installment: The following takes place between 5:00 A.M and 8:00 A.M: 5:00 *Phone rings* A hand rises from the sheets thumbing for the phone. Knocking beers cans and cake wrappers from the sideboard Joe finally gets there. “We have a problem” states a calm, collected voice. “For f***s sake, I’ll be right there” Joe retorts. “Who was that?” mumbles a tired but clearly satisfied Damien. “Oh it was nothing” explains Joe. “Look I have a right to know, I don’t just do this for my place in the team” Damien tries to argue, but it’s too late Joe has already left the room. He hops in his car and drives away. 6:00 Joe arrives at the snow covered park. After hurriedly parking up he waddles across the thick white blanket until he reaches a large building towards the back of the park, he hurriedly pushes open the door. “What took you so long?” Asks a clearly disgruntled Dennis sat, feet up on the desk. “f***ing Traffic. What did you want?” “As I said we have a problem” says Wise rising to his feet. “What kind of problem?” asks an annoyed looking Joe. “It’s all gone a bit tits up” explains Dennis. “As you may not have known Derek and I have been doing some work in Brazil. Mike asked us to do so in case you couldn’t deliver the goods.” “What?” Bellows Joe. Dennis glares at him then continues: “As I was saying, Mike asked us to do some work in Brazil in case, you know, we are where we are now. We were due to fly back with a couple of players last night but it all went belly up.” Joe composes himself “And how the f*** did that happen?” he enquires. “Well the lads suggested going to the bar for a couple of quiet drink before the flight. Anyway we got talking and when we told them our destination they laughed in our faces, downed there drinks and left. We followed them but Derek had a nervous break down, I tried to talk sense into him but he wouldn’t have it.” “So what did you do?” asks Joe “Well I lost my temper.” “And?” Barks an increasingly annoyed Joe. "Well I ended up knocking seven shades of s*** of him” says Dennis, breaking into a nervous smile. “So where the f*** is Derek now?” “Well I took him to the local hospital and legged it. Look I brought you here because we need a plan C, Mike is on his way now and we need answers and a couple of fresh ideas. Ryan is due to drive over later but we need more” explains Dennis. “You’re a c***.” Joe Exclaims. “Mike is scared of you, you know it and I know it, you’re the brains of the outfit and you need my help, f*** you.” Joe tries to storm out of the room. “Stop” cries Dennis. “I know about you little secret, you know you and Damien, there can only be one reason he gets his place in the team, care to explain?” says a smug Wise. “f***.” “f*** indeed. Now your going to help me like it or not” says Dennis. Now Mike will be here in a couple of hours and he’ll bring with a media circus we need something by then.” Dennis tells an anxious looking Joe. “What do you want me to do?” “Not only do we need to appease Mike but we need to get the fans back on our side, we need a trophy signing. Now you going to see a bloke called Freddy, used to run this joint, he should be able to tell you everything you need about how to make a trophy signing, I’ll wait here for Mike don’t let me down, you know the consequences” says Dennis raising his tone. Joe storms away muttering to himself. 7:00 Joe arrives at the destination given to him by Dennis. Before him sits two towering gates protecting a huge mansion, a host of limited edition cars sit out on show, massive gardens are decorated by the falling snow. “Not bad” Joe witters to himself. He gets out of the car ringing the buzzer on a speaker connected to the brick towers on which the gates rest. “Who is it?” barks a voice. “It’s Joe, Dennis sent me, he said you could help us make a trophy signing.” The voice sniggers. “That time of the year again is it? I’m retired” “Look you f***ing c*** I drove all the way out here, I want answers” shouts Joe. The voice continues to snigger. “What the f*** do you take me for, an idiot? I left that sinking ship for a reason, I owe it nothing.” “What?” asks a baffled Joe. “I pumped money into that club, we got into Europe more times than any other team outside the top four, I mean where did it go wrong? I even appointed a manager who won four titles with two different clubs and three manager of the year awards, I tried everything. I owe it nothing.” “Come on give me something” begs Joe. “Ok, OK, if I ever wanted a trophy signing, I’d go a guy who goes by the name of Willy, let me get you his address.” Joe hops back into his car satisfied, he drives off to the new location given to him by Freddy. Back at base Dennis receives a phone call. “Joe just left” it says. “Excellent news, now he’s out of the way we can kick thing up a gear” explains a delight Dennis. “Look Dennis funds are really beginning to run short here this better come off.” Dennis laughs: “Don’t worry Freddy, I’ve got everything under control.” Things are hotting up on deadline day. Will Joe find the trophy signing to appease the fans? What are Wise and Freddy plotting? Find out in the following hours of 12.

We could be playing Blyth and I'd be happy if the top scorer was out. Oh dear. No no I don't mean like, that's how bad we are. I mean it strengthens our chance of winning. Any advantage is good in my books. I knew what you meant but fit and fighting we shouldn't be thinking to ourselves "s*** Simpson is playing" when he's an average player that shouldn't be worrying us. Similarly we shouldn't be worried by any player from Blyth hence it wouldn't normally bother me if he's injured or not. We should be more worried about our own game. However at this current time we need as much luck as we can get and unfortunately players like Simpson are able to do damage when playing well. It's been a few years since we've been able to be complacent about average goalscorer's from bottom sides. In fact, the likes of Cameron Jerome/Danny Weber/Marlon King have had an uncanny knack for f***ing us up. Yep, as I say worrying.

We could be playing Blyth and I'd be happy if the top scorer was out. Oh dear. No no I don't mean like, that's how bad we are. I mean it strengthens our chance of winning. Any advantage is good in my books. I knew what you meant but fit and fighting we shouldn't be thinking to ourselves "Shit Simpson is playing" when he's an average player that shouldn't be worrying us. Similarly we shouldn't be worried by any player from Blyth hence it wouldn't normally bother me if he's injured or not. We should be more worried about our own game. However at this current time we need as much luck as we can get and unfortunately players like Simpson are able to do damage when playing well.

We could be playing Blyth and I'd be happy if the top scorer was out. Oh dear.

Worrying sign of the times when we celebrate when players like Simpson playing for teams like West Brom are thought to be injured.