Jill

I still have a brief moment of panic when I see the name Ameobi, I wish everyone would just agree to call him Sammy, forever.

Krul though.

Yay Gouffran.

The first time football broke my heart.

Brentford, Bournemouth, Bristol City, Peterborough, Burton - £2 Chelsea v Newcastle, penalty missed - £2 free bet

Cheeky bastard tbh. Let's hope whoever comes in will see he's absolutely fucking useless and get rid asap. New guy all: Don't let the door hit your fat arse on the way out, John.

What the fuck.

Sounds about right. Once we concede the first, we'll fall to pieces.

GW 21 Sunderland 1-1 Liverpool Burnley 1-0 QPR Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle Everton 1-2 Man City Leicester 1-1 Aston Villa Swansea 1-0 West Ham West Brom 3-2 Hull Crystal Palace 0-1 Spurs Arsenal 2-1 Stoke Man Utd 2-1 Southampton

Oh yay we're talking about Gerrard again.

I knew I had without even looking, as I saw the scores come in. I need some sort of miracle in the second half of the season.

Unsurprising news.

Switched the TV on just in time to see Pardew's dial.

They fucking love a croquembouche on Masterchef Australia.

Some weird scores in that round.

6pm on BBC1. Just noticed this is coming up.

I'd forgotten I had Port Vale, Wycombe and Newport in a treble until they'd all been playing a while and when I checked only Wycombe were winning. It took a 90th minute Port Vale winner but the £5 returned £27.08 which should keep me going for a bit.

Nope.

Flag up. How late??

Has the analysis chap gone too?

I declare this a celebratory Double Decker.

I was out for a meal earlier and my auntie, who doesn't follow football, said there shouldn't be any non-Geordies involved with the club at all. I bit my lip so hard I drew blood.

Pardew's pressing F5 on here like the rest of us and waiting for page 700 before he signs.