Lush Vlad

"Sheikh Tioté" He's that important now, he's more powerful than the ruler of Dubai.

Not sure Callejon would hack it over here, very skillful and direct and pretty quick, but is one of the worst divers I have seen. Either has the pain threshold of a 6 year old school girl or he's just a fecking cheat!

He stands out because the team he plays in is utter shite and has lacked fight until recently, still corkscrews himself into the ground by turning like a Jack Russell chasing his tail all match, just runs around like a loon bossing people about because he's the big fish. He's a good player, but player of the year? This is without rose tinted glasses on but Barton has been as good and Nolan is the top scoring midfielder in the league, counts for nowt obviously. Players like Modric and Van Der Vaart have quite clearly been better than him. Nani? Berbatov? Van Der Sar? All much more worthy of a nomination. I think he's a good player, but I've found the media hype surrounding him hilarious. They've started to play well since the return of Hitzlsperger (sp) it coincided with Parkers massive improvement. Both games against us he was annonymous and I don't remember there being a wankfest over him earlier in the season?

Hardly a vintage year is it!? Scott Parker is nominated , Coleman for the young players award ahead of Carroll Bale for player of the year when he's not even the best player at Spurs

Please do not send me a link of you cracking one off

Link please?

Still undecided as we have 7 games left, you never know, Shola might score 20 odd goals, but at the minute I would say: 1. Tiote 2. Barton 3. Nolan 4. Colo 5. Enrique

"This post is my preferred position at the base. I love google translate! Glad he's getting the house keys as well.

Maybe he's off to the flower show in London?

Excellent, excellent indeed. I really hope HBA gets his favorite role next season (AM). He will do more damage in that role than as a wide man. His speed, technique and shot will create havoc. When he has the ball, the defenders must push, which creates space and a disorganized line. This gives HBA the possibility to play the lm and rm through on goal. If HBA plays on the lm it's easier to double mark him, like Manure did with Bale. They led him into the middle of the pitch, forcing him to finish/deliver with his right foot. On the other hand HBA's technique is better. That should enable him to a greater extent to deal with such problems. Still I want him as a AM... Spot on this. Would also mean we don't have to blow a shit load on two quality strikers, maybe just one quality one and just a good one as a second striker/back up. I'd play HBA off the front man in the free role, or in the middle of an attacking 3 behind a lone striker. Do you mean this, or actually stick him in centre mid in a 4-4-2?

April Fools? He did his press conference yesterday mind, and that's where the quotes are from. Best also trained yesterday, if his injury is that bad, why did he take part in a full session??

http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2011/04/01/leon-best-may-be-out-for-rest-of-season-says-alan-pardew-61634-28439974/ O dear, fucking hell, Shola, Lovenkrands and Nil Ranger to score enough to keep us up then

So he broke down training with Ireland over a week ago, he trained yesterday, and now he's out for the season? Sounds like a load of bollocks that

Thought it was Jarvis Perch hacked down? One of the most blatant pens you'll ever see. http://www.nufc.co.uk/page/News/Gallery/0,,10278~2327873,00.html Best and Jose both took part in full contact training, good news if they both got through it ok.

Best, Ireland and Enrique all still doubtful. So much for his new approach of ruling players out by the Wednesday before a game! Hopefully Jose and Best are both fit, bring Best in for Lovenkrands and Guthrie for Tiote.

Plus an extra leg for stability, like a bloody tripod man!

When he scored at Swansea last season he had a massive boner then as well! Like the opposite to sports cock, it's meant to shrink surely?!

Realistically he could make the bench for Liverpool. Ramsey was out for far longer and he was playing again a month after returning to training (albeit in the reserves). If his cardio is at a good level and he is able to join in contact training from monday then he might be available before the end of the season. Just hope we don't rush him back and that we don't end up relying on him to get us points to keep us up.

How could I forget Xisco! What a waste of money.

He was s***. According to nufcblog he cost us £40 mill and scored 30 goals. That's some expensive goals. Owen is good when he got a midfielder that is able to thread the breakthrough passes he needs. But Owen is not the kind of player that stands out if the rest of the team has problems. Then he's the weakest link. One expects more from a player that is paid £100 000 a week. A player on that salary must be a notch above the rest, delivering good football even though the rest have problems. But he was just as bad as the others when we went down. He was in fact invisible. That c***! His goalscoring record was something like 1 in every 2.5 games, hence the fact I put 'when fit'. There is no doubt he exagerated injuries, didn't want to play for us and was only interested in horses and England. However, I'm trying to not let my hatred for the man get in the way, there has been far worse players for us IMO.

Boumsong and Luque. As much as I hated Owen and everything about him, he actually had a half decent scoring record (when fit).

Assuming we keep the likes of Barton, Tiote and Enrique. I would say we need a new striker, probably two would be required, cover for the wings and cover at full back. Would like to see us sign a player like Kranjcar for wing cover and maybe the utility man Pardew speaks of could be Jamie O'Hara, not a bad player and can cover three positions. Once Ben Arfa is back fit I would imagine he would play off the front in a 4-4-1-1 or 4-2-3-1 formation as the attacking mid/free role is his best position, that is why I think we need a winger. Being linked with Matt Jarvis, looks a canny little player to me. Genuine wide mean, two footed and has a bit of pace as well, end ball looks far better than Jonas' as well. Problem is, I think one of the first three mentioned will leave, so we will need to replace them. Can't say I agree with dropping Nolan like, he does seem to be a bit of a passenger at times, but we look unorganised, uinterested and generally just a complete shambles when he doesn't play, his leadership qualities are outstanding and he weighs in with important goals. Shame he's such a fat bugger, I really don't get how he is so unfit, he's a pro footballer FFS!