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Look at this wonderful piece of prose from Ready to Groom I am in uproar over it but at least I can spell it ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They've signed two players that: A. We wouldn't want and our fans would be in up-raw about B. Are not good enough to get into our first team as our squad is a lot better than Newcastle's; and; C. Are over-priced for what they are. It's also worth noting that the transfer window only officially opened yesterday.

Jesus!! He looks like a mass murderer and that is never a 4/10 dress sense -4 maybe.

nah, we'd only get the words wrong

Commentators and many other pundits, Robbie Savage et al who state that 'there was contact' therefore it must be a penalty. Following that through to a logical conclusion it becomes a non contact sport. Contact should be sufficient to be considered a foul and that does not include a brush of the thigh. Liverpool get what seems like about 20 penalties a season and they will forensically analyse every frame to prove that Sturridge, Benteke, Henderson were touched by the opposition and were 'entitled' to go down.

The only thing I slightly disagree with is that they do actually know they are utterly irrelevant and that is the root of their problem

Just after this was taken Kevin Friend steps in to show him a red card for having both feet off the floor

Effing hell that's like bob the builder working with Michaelangelo

He is learning to count backwards from 20 and gets a commemorative shirt for every two numbers he gets right

I actually take objection to anyone saying he is our best player, he has neither the footballing intelligence, ability, mindset or technique to be anywhere near. He is a good athlete and nothing more. Being a good athlete and being able to run around when you can be arsed is not an outstanding virtue for a professional footballer, he has ideas way above his actual level. I blame his Mam, she's obviously filled his head with over-confidence

There's a six pack of Donnay socks heading your way Andros.

I'm incandescent with rage

It looks like a spiv salesman's open suitcase

I suspect we are trying to do just enough to get out of the championship whilst maintaining a lot of the current crop. If we do go back up I would expect that is when Benitez will go for bigger targets who we can't attract now

Indeed, plus you may no longer shag my wife

Just a glance at Ready To Groom tells you everything you need to know. Half the threads are about Newcastle, the rest are complaining about all the threads being about Newcastle

Hope he gets the worst burn ever from Jackie Chan

Great manager though, if you don't believe me just ask him

Thanks Sky, two days late but hey!!

Yeah Leazes needs to have a long, hard look at himself then take a long, hard broomstick to his rusty bullet hole. :kasper: Especially if it becomes a portent of things yet to emerge

Sh!t kick and run merchant. The French James Milner but with a really poor attitude and a heart like a raisin

When I saw that my first thought was is this a joke or taken from a comments section. They really need to just get on with being a premiership side and not bother with the championship. Unfortunately the massive chip on their shoulder just won't let them. When this turns full circle which it inevitably will I very much doubt they will be paid as much attention as they pay us. Sad and strangely weird

Are you alright? No. I'm finding this whole affair to be exceptionally disheartening. One chance people had to stand up for something and everyone is silent. Again. People are just desperate to believe anything, including filler tweets that clearly have no substance other than "we don't know anything more than we knew yesterday". I suppose the corollary is that people will (or at least should) flip the f*** out extra hard if it ends up falling through. It is a bit of a kick in the nads that he's slithering through Scot free so far, though. (Apologies to Scots.) Don't ask me how I know cos I can't remember but the word scot in scot free is a derivation of an Scandinavian word meaning 'tax'. So to get off scot free means tax free. I'll be on my way...................

And why the hell did he wear the captains armband on his compression vest during his post match interview? Like a child wearing his boots for bed, to be fair he was probably aiming to throw it in the kit bag

Biggest cum shot in porn history

If they are targets for Benitez shouldn't we be contacting them?