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"Neymar used backspin on his strike." "Good spot." I'm tuning back in at 8pm.

Alan Pardew; from zero to hero.

Have Dekka and Ashley just told this clown to come out to the media and announce it or has he done it of his own accord, I wonder? The thought of this man being largely responsible for handling contract renewals and bringing in new players is just astonishing. Remember when we qualified for the Europa League? Yeah, that's the pinnacle never to be reached again.

That idiotic fanpage "All aboard the Toon Rollercoaster" on Facebook trying to justify it as a good move as he "means what he says"... How many fans hold this view that this is a positive move? I can see literally no positive from this.

Honestly, this cannot be fucking real. Jesus wept. I have no problem with the idea of a DoF, but Joe Kinnear? What pedigree does he have in this role? What pedigree does he even have as a manager in recent times? We struggle against relegation with our good squad, and the answer is seemingly Joe Kinnear?

All depends if the money is right for the clubs invited.

One thing I hope we ask of him, or indeed any player leaving this club, is to not disclose the blueprint behind the perfect set piece.

Appears to be a model pro. Had a lot of stick the last couple of seasons but never shirked the shirt, deserves respect for still going out there week after week and trying his very best despite his limited ability letting him down. Best of luck to him if he goes.

Great news, he's a massive player for us. We now have a season or two to work out who to replace him with, and allow Mapou to adapt to the Premiership alongside a quality centre half rather than Williamson or even Taylor.

Was worth a gamble, I thought he had a big future ahead of him. We haven't really lost out on signing him.

If he can keep it simple and keep his cool he will be a useful player for us. Don't feel ready to give up on him just yet. In the right set-up, and with confidence back, he'll do well.

Of course no one missed Demba, when we stopped being able to score goals out of nothing with him. Awful, awful article.

Realistically, we aren't looking at receiving bids of £30m for him. More like half that. He is quality but he hasn't shown it consistently enough. Any team would be bonkers to fork out £30m. At least Carroll looked like a real danger for a while, but he also had the young English talent factor going for him also.

Well isn't that disgusting.

Have they released the baby kits then as last I looked it was only adults and children.

I am just hoping the logo won't be on the infants kit. False hope I know.

This thread has got me wondering just how easy it'll be to peel off the Wonga logo on the new shirts.

Less than Jordon Henderson. Fek off. Ah if only every club were as retarded as Liverpool during that season or two.

sorry was only joking. I know dude, was pretty good.

Didn't want people thinking it was coming from a source.

Cisse will be here come September, I'm very confident of this. Of course, this is entirely baseless.

Price tag will be around £15m I'd think. Providing he is replaced and the excess used to strengthen other areas of the team, I'd accept that bid.

Man United apparently put a £8.5m price tag on Nani, according to Galatasaray.

Monster should have been on from the first whistle. It's them kind of errors that really, for me, stopped Keegan being one of the greats.