Coffee_Johnny

Guessing you live in London, Mr President? (i.e. everything is badged ‘south’ from Newcastle perspective!)

I was 6'2" at 16. Now at 41 I'm 6'2" Think I grew about three inches 16-fully grown. 6’5” now. Seems like the younger generation are much taller, or there are now far more tall people in Tyneside. Last time I was in the bar in the Leazes end as I walked in it seemed like half the room was my height. Very odd feeling when I used to feel like a freak/giant in the 80’s.

I know what mean, I’ve observed similar things, with a touch of how do the defensive figures look so good when we’re looking a bit clumsy and nervous right across the backline. Feels like to the eye the number of unforced errors have rocketed but we haven’t really been punished (too much) as yet. Choosing to believe it is just a phase (tiredness, lack of Bruno as a lynchpin for last couple of games, normal ‘variation’ etc etc). Expected us to be on it at Bournemouth, maybe we’ll pop back into shape with a week’s rest/training, will settle for looking impenetrable again the following weekend!

Bear with me, but I’ve looked at who have left and used a formula to predict our likely points return on the basis of their current league position and whether the game is home or away. I appreciate people might think this has the same predictive validity as watching the way dried kelp turns in the wind, but I’ll share it anyway. Splitting the league in to quarters (A = 1st to 5th, B = 6-10 etc) and predicting results, here is the formula. For category A opposition, we will lose 100% of away matches and win and draw 50-50 of home matches. Category B: win/draw 25% each and lose 50% away; win 50% draw 25% lose 25% home. Category C: win 50% draw/lose 25% each away; win 75% and draw 25% at home. Category D: win 75% draw 25% away; win 100% home. We have these games left, in order (HOME, away): LIVERPOOL 10th B Man City 2nd a WOLVES 15th C N Forest 14th c MAN UTD 3rd A Brentford 8th b Villa 11th c SPURS 5th A Everton 18th d SOUTHAMPTON 20th D ARSENAL 1st A Leeds 17th d LEICESTER 13th C CHELSEA 9th B tbc West Ham 16th d BRIGHTON 6th B The kelp/formula predicts a return of between 26-34 points from the 42 available. We’ve 41 points at the mo, so that would mean between 67 and 75 points for the season. That puts us, reassuringly, round and about the average points totals for third and fourth place finishes over the last thirty seasons: 4th 68 and 3rd 73 points.

Thanks for the advice and taking the time to describe each option. Plan to get to the stadium early but a drink or two, out and about amongst the black and white brethren, feels like a must do ?

Kudos. As in that’s what you win and as in what a week! ? Not as in Magpie is going to buy you a bottle of aftershave ?

Here Mo, I’ve a laaaarrrggee back pocket for you (that sounds pervier than I imagined…)

We could have Gallagher for <= half of that. Different players but either would fit, and improve, our fluid midfield. Especially as I’ve convinced myself (on the basis of nowt much at all) we’re having Maddison in the summer Bruno, Joelinton, Gallagher/Rice and Maddison = challenging for the title.

Thank fuck for that, was thinking I’d have to give the forum a swerve during the most exciting couple of weeks in decades ?

I actually genuinely fancy us to fuck them up at their place.

Good luck with that EH!

Awful from Mahrez! Howay Villa get another.

Unfortunately, Casemiro will be back.

Any bars to recommend near Baker Street? Will be getting tube from there to Wembley. Would be nice to be around other toon fans. Any advice much appreciated.

Yes, seem qualitatively different. Seen enough of Gordon to believe he will be a full international/top player. Don’t have same belief re Anderson, though maybe flash forward a year and we’ll know/be confident one way or another. That said, he’ll probably have to go elsewhere next season for him to realise his potential/find his level.

I know it is easier said than done. But don’t do it to yourself, man. Makes literally no difference if we angst over it or dare to dream. This could be the best bit, the anticipation. The build-up. Imagining the day. Picturing us turning-up and giving it a real good go, as we did (apparently) in the ‘76 LCF. If we let ourselves go there, just dare to hold it in mind, entertain the very real possibility of a NUFC captain facing our supporters and holding aloft a major cup. Epic. A seachange in our fortunes and the confidence that can become an ingrained belief that we actually can not only compete (we are..) but actually win. Way I feel at the moment, I can’t fucking wait!

Watched them today, flattering score line, Leeds missed lots of opportunities and just seemed to capitulate when they conceded. Man Utd’s limited performance, admittedly without Casemiro, and given they have Barcelona (away 16th, home 23rd) and a resurgent Leicester (at Old Trafford, 19th) before the final, has made me feel optimistic again.

Maybe there isn’t!

Time yet. Though Rutter and Gnonto look shite.

‘Kin hell, man. Give it a rest.

Here’s your man! ☝️ (or one of them!)

“That you, Ollie pal?”