Moose

Your profile picture man This odious slug conveniently misses out the fact that we were hurtling towards certain relegation in his last season and we were only spared from relegation the prevous season because of Willock. Let's not forget he had the squad in training 2 days a week and fucked off to the Algarve every international break. I'll never forget the post match interview after Man Utd scudded us 4-1, someone asked him why the team were given the week off instead of preparing for the game and he came out with something like 'Look, I had players away, what was I supposed to do, our preperations were meticulous, I can assure you that!'. We had Krafth and Dubravka away on international duty, Man Utd had almost their entire squad away, only one team was given a holiday.

One thing I'm taking away from this graph is that we need to thank the Football Gods that Captain Steak Bakes never got the Stoke job. I honestly think that would've been enough to get the entire sport cancelled.

100%! That's why the moment he ducked out of the Asia tour he had to go for me. If we had have kept him this summer after all those antics and he was turning in performances like this and pulling out his sick note the fan base would be apoplectic and the club would be toxic!

Isak + Groin injury = Didn't fancy it and needed an excuse to sit this one out. The heart of a mouse and groin made of candy floss

Not sure if this has been covered already but there is a special medieval torture chamber in the 9th circle of hell any human above the age of 16 partaking in this 007 patter (0 goals, 0 assists, 7 appearances). You can already picture the kind of people guilty of this crime: A profile picture wearing a Liverpool shirt having previously spent time as a Chelsea and Man Utd fan. Although his favourite English team changes with the wind he confidently states that his favourite French team is PSG and German team is Bayern. He also likes Real Madrid but also has a soft spot for Barcelona. He used to like Juventus too while they dominated, he's since given up on Italian football as it's too close to call, he's a big Celtic fan though! He comments on every social media post about Lionel Messi, calling him a fraud and FIFAs golden boy and claims Ronaldo as the GOAT (or vice versa, take your pick) and owns a Inter Miami/Al Nassr shirt. He can't name a single player for a non cartel PL club and is only aware that certain teams exist if Man Utd have lost to them and their name was subsequently mentioned on a meme on one of those optical aids inducing pages like Troll Football. As a result, he still isn't aware that Leicester have been relegated. After Liverpool (or who ever he supports that week) win a game, he'll go onto the opponents official Facebook page and post some absolute bilge like 'SALAH IS UR OWNER' 'LIVERPOOL IS GOAT, YOUR TEAM BAD'. I won't go as far as besmirching any sovreign nation by attributing these tapeworms to them, but let's just say they don't tend to come from their teams city, nor catchment area, or continent for that matter (nothing wrong with overseas fans for the record). So yeah. Less of that stuff please.

Yeah, that's kinda what I was getting at, albeit very clumsily. Isak will score goals, and the twitter and media nonsense will hail it like the second coming of Christ, but his goals will highly likely be as a result of him being where a striker ought to be, a standard goal tally (15-25) for a top end PL striker won't be enough to justify his price tag unless he's going to elevate the team by his work elsewhere on the pitch which he absolutely will not. His output needs to be transformational for Liverpool to justify that price tag

It's inevitable that he will score goals. A forward playing in a dominant Liverpool side who have yet to play some of the worst teams in the league will always get his fair share without so much as breaking a sweat, fucking Darwin Nunez managed that and was ridiculed out of the league. So brace yourself for the eScousers and the mainstream media with their "ISAK HAS ARRIVED" narratives after his nets a penalty and a tap in against Leeds. The question will always be "Did the 125m player elevate his new team to another level". At this juncture, it seems like he'll do well to keep his 'understudy' out of the team.

I hope Leverkusen are as utterly pathetic at defending as Frankfurt are. There's surely no way Slot can keep justifying starting the rat. Out of Ekitike, Gakpo, Chiesa and Salah, he's by far the least productive.

Get it right fucking up yeeeez!

I can't stand Fulham, a bunch of posh nonces who are annoyingly difficult to play against. Please just beat these fannies by any manner or means lads!

Great news, surely to fuck he gets a chunky pay rise too. Very happy with that, Tino next please.

Abso-bloody-exactly! I agree with the mackems to a certain extent, they probably would beat the likes of Kairat, Pafos, USG, Slavia, Qarabag and they'd no doubt give the likes of Benfica, Olympiakos, Brugge a game. I also think every other premier league club could claim the same and the mackems would do well to remember that the only reason they have the resources to beat teams like that is a by product of playing in the richest league in the world and to qualify for such tournaments they'll have to prove their quality for a bit more than 8 games against predominantly shit teams.

Terrymac out here doing the lords work! I bet you had to don your Hazmat suit and respirator before venturing into that thread. Thank you for collecting those golden nuggets for us, now please give your eyes a well deserved rest and decontamination!

Such a good footballer, I feel bad for Schär but this is what squad evolution looks like. He has taught me to never prejudge a signing again until they've had a decent run in the team.

I wouldn't give the Benfica fans too much credit for constantly singing, that's just how they roll in Eruope for the most part, their chanting doesn't ebb and flow with what's happening on the field it's more background noise, after a while you forget they're even there.

All of them in the "Soft, but I've seen them given" category.

As I live near Lisbon and have been telling my Benfica supporting friends that their league is dross the whole time I've been here, I'm relieved as much as I am delighted that we showed our quality last night, no one can complain that 3-0 was an unfair scoreline. As many have already stated, Benfica have been stripped of quality in the past few years and their fans are all complaining about how their team is being run. Outside of Benfica, Sporting, Porto and Braga the Portuguese league is absolute dog meat.

Also, this whole 'Woltemessi' patter needs to stop. I wish people would stop comparing the two. I mean the guy is good, but he's no Woltemade!

An absolute pleasure to watch him play, its crazy to think that despite how utterly forlorn our striker search was this summer, we ended up stumbling on the best one of the lot. A much better footballer than his slithery predecessor too

That 2nd half was an absolute joy to watch. Everyone was immense but of course Gordon deserves his flowers. That 3rd goal was pure pornography! Very proud of the lads, as soon as we figure out how to beat that gaggle of noncey, southern, mid table spreadsheet shagging teams we'll be unstoppable!

It's Marinakis were talking about. A man who hired Ange based solely on his Greek heritage. Dyche is clearly getting the job based on the fact that he's been on an all inclusive to Corfu

The vendors outside Ibrox are missing a trick if they're not punting flags and scarves with 'Rohl Britannia' written on them!

Along with Bournemouth (A), this is my least favourite fixture. Any win will do but I'm 100% braced for prime Messi to shape-shift into Minteh for 90 minutes and run rings around us along with obligatory Welbeck goal.

Isn't it the 49ers/Red Bull lot who own Leeds? I always assumed their acquisition of Rangers was to have them as a feeder club for Leeds or a hedge which earns then consistent EL income in the event that Leeds go down and don't get back up.

Take anything that happens at Rangers with a pinch of salt, that club is a basket case