Moose

Oh great, the boomers have figured out how to use AI.

Oh, what's Todd Cantwell doing at SJP? He's not even an improvement on Willock ffs!

Fucking hell Jan, are you still here?! Bore off!

Respect FC at it again.

Me at about 12 yesterday when Wolves shut down the JSL deal: Where the fuck do we go from here?! What a shambles, someone needs to lose their job over this debacle. Me at about 5 yesterday logging on the follow the CL Draw: Well damn! He's better than anyone else we've been linked with. Someone needs to be knighted for this!

Still not sure what to make of the draw. I either wanted easy teams (relativley speaking) or interesting ties. I think we've ended up with neither. Barca - A member of the Bobby Robson Brotherhood! Should be an electric atmosphere, getting a point here isn't out of the question. PSG - Think we'll put in a good performance but still get scudded to be honest. Benfica - I live in Portugal and watch Benfica from time to time, I really don't rate this lot very highly, I'd be disappointed with anything less than a win Leverkusen - This isn't the amazing team that Xavi Alonso had 2 years ago, but they're still much more experienced and streetwise at this level. Still think we'll get a result. PSV - Another fellow member of the Bobby Robson brotherhood. They're no great shakes, we simply have to be beating these guys if we want to progress. Marseille - If we want to prove that we're the CL level team we all think we are, then we should be targeting a win here. Secondary objective: Maim the animal that plays up front for them whose name I can't even bring myself to type out. Bilbao - Absolute pisser that these guys we're our Pot 4 home opponent, we should still be winning this. A god awful Man Utd team and Rangers both had good showings against these last year at home. USG - They'll make it tough for us but this is a gimme. If we don't beat these we frankly don't belong in the CL I think we'll get around 14 points. Benfica, PSV, Bilbao & USG should be bankers, Leverkusen & Marseille should be at least a draw, getting anything from Barca & PSG is a bonus.

"Bilbao Black Cats were approached for a comment on this video but the request was declined"

Aaaaaah, so that's why they call him 'The Prophet'!

"Yaz remember that guy who scored twice against us and helped the mags raaaych the Champions Leeyg twice and win a trowefey? Well they're about to sell him for more than half of our clubs total valyeew, but they all hate him now so he's a Sunlun heyro! It's pewer wicked banter marra"

Thank you for "only wanting Man Utd" you gimpy shitebag.

I made the mistake of watching and reading his scouting reports and holy fuck! He looks the real deal and thats BEFORE he gets Howe'd! How have we been allowed to sign this guy? I was aware of him previously but thought he was Bayern bound and even if he wasn't I thought there'd be no way we could land him. Is this the case of the cartel and the European big guns already having their strikers and this guy having higher ambitions than being a bench warmer? If this was the strategy all along then it was like playing Russian Roulette with 5 bullets in the chamber.

That's all well and good but did Respect FC submit the bid honourably with grace and decorum?

He'll be back up to Ekitike by that point anyway. Joelinton will be subbed off by the time Isak gets his cameo.

It wouldn't surprise me if he suffers a "minor knock" in the training before that fixture and has to sit it out.

There are no clairvoyants when it comes to football transfers, complex deals over tens of millions of pounds with numerous moving parts by their very nature are volatile and the whole situation can do a 180 at any given juncture. There's plenty of crooks in the media who will guess and then backtrack throughout every saga just to appear to be ITK and to monetise wherever possible. Some are better than others. I'm certain that posters like ShadowPuppets and Ando7 post what they hear in completely good faith for the benefit of the readers in here. Insight from forum users is more beneficial than tweets from shills or client journalists.

Liverpool would be mad to spend >130m on a back up for Ekitike, especially a cowardly one with a groin made of cobwebs and the heart of a mouse

I'm sure the tweet will be through gritted teeth. Or gritted fingers. Not sure how that expression works with tweets. "Woltemade to Newcastle, here we go. 5 year deal or something (doesn't matter, he can leave at any time). Fee probably about £40m than what he's worth IMO. Wasn't that keen on Newcastle project tbh but Bayern only wanted Jackson. Woltemade only wanted Bayern, but reluctantly accepted Newcastle"

Wir sind die Geordies Die Geordie Stiefel Jungs Denn sind wir wahnsinn und wir sind verrückt Wir sind die trueste Fussballfans dass die welt je hatte (Falls ein Deutsch das gelesen hat, es tut mir leid für mein Grammatik!)

I can't decide if he looks like a 1970's Anthony Gordon or Todd Cantwell on growth hormones

Sound, I'll get the Toni Kroos thread started.

Seen Kroos mentioned a few times over the last few pages. What have I missed there?

Now it's clear that we'll be getting Woltemade (subject to a cartel hijack) and A.N Other (Surely Wissa?), I'm beginning to make my peace with selling this scummy cunt to the Dippers. I think we should all brace ourselves for the inevitable. I said that I would only accept us getting this wretched coward to fuck if it meant we come out of the window with a better striking department than we had coming in to it. Taking Osula aside, it's very debatable if JSL/Wissa/Jackson + a half arsed Isak who we all despise (teammates included) would be an improvement on last year's Isak (who was world class at times and a passenger at others) and Wilson (who was as good as an empty jersey). However, Woltemade (who has all the traits to be a stud) and a PL proven player, likely Wissa, is a better outcome than finishing the window with Woltemade and Isak. Think about how much heart and desire the lads played with on Monday, we'd never get an iota of that from this odious serpent this season. If he stayed, he'd barely make himself available, he's absolutely finished here. The manager and players don't want to work with him, we all detest him and he should never be given the chance to besmirch our badge again. What a shame it ended like this. What a shame.

Poor craic. There's many insults we can throw at that snakey bastard for many reasons. We can do so much better than mocking his physical appearance.

Plot twist: You were the Wilson replacement the whole time

Is it a sign of trauma that my initial reaction was to think which cartel club are most likely to gazump us? Spurs still need a striker?