Nucasol

One positive would be a formal transfer request nixes his and the agent’s cut.

Someone stick Isak’s head and a Liverpool shirt on Cole and stick Harvey Elliot’s noodle nut on Gillespie.

And the fucking rest. The Isak money and what was already in the kitty should revamp the whole squad. Two strikers, CM, CB and GK. All of good quality. No excuses apart from our staggering inability to actually rubber stamp a transfer.

Smells like a mackems soiled undercrackers.

Hopefully Brentford.

This. It’s a simple numbers game. We’ve been here before with a high end CL campaign and a strained squad. This time it’s even smaller with older players, particularly in the back line.

Todd Boehly says hi.

Sounds brutal personal experience there Dazzla lad.

Gordon Bennett more like.

On the plus side, there should be good news coming today. Please.

Spot on. We signed Wilson for £20m at close to the same age with a worse fitness record (2 major knee ops) when fees were lower. Factoring in fee inflation and the fact we have an outlet to flog him to KSA, I’d pay £35m plus a chunk of add ons.

Eddie’s caught Pearson trying to sneak on board

“Poorly tummy”.

I’ll be resigned to what comes next. If he’s on - great; if not, well we’ve had a month of pretty intense preparation speculation to get used to the fact that the powers that be do not want anyone outside the 3 red shirt clubs and Chelsea to have any legitimate top players. They’ve tried every trick in the book, including using the collective power of the media to cajole and unsettle. I’d be massively fucked off if he was to end up at Liverpool. My loathing of them started with clogging up all the media roles (Hansen, Lawrenson) and plastics across the country. It ramped up with them getting Dietmar Hamman. This is next level.

Surprise surprise. More grim American practices potentially being foisted on us. 51st State bollocks and all that.

I’ll buy you a steak bake if you flat tyre the back of his ankle when he’s running.

T-minus 3 hours 15 minutes until the bedwetting begins.

Tosin, Badiashile, Chalobah and Axel Disaster will all be in the Bum Squad. Colwill, Hato, Fofana plus another new signing will be the four CBs.

And take Ben Jacobs with it.

1 Connor Gallagher would be suffice.

Someone’s been watching 24 Hours In Police Custody - I see you.

Nothanku.

Because he’s a pencil necked wanker media darling who most of us would happily clothesline.