Nucasol

Have you considered a career in the comms team at either UEFA/EPL? Reads just like the shit they’d come out with, so much so they’ll be copy-pasting it ready to go. Oven ready cartel friendly bullshit.

Mehrdad looking a sweaty mess doing the GNR and bemoaning why a “best in class” DoF isn’t allowed to join us for a pittance?

Getting those cunts to sell him to us will be nigh on an impossible task unless Rigg rejects all other offers. Only way would to be to run his contract down to next summer. However, I fancy they’ll give him an ultimatum.

Big improvement on Wes Foderingham who appeared to have won his appearances based off a cereal box competition.

Absolute sack of wanks these journos.

Ten Hag getting moist.

Some poorly put together photoshop of Tosin in a toon top.

Fattymiro waddling his way to playing Havertz onside.

Waka Waka eh eh Wor Minteh scores again

Suggests to me the man of glass is out for the rest of the season, so need to manage Isak’s minutes.

The joys of depending on Callum Wilson as an option. Stripped away a threat by yet another injury. Still should have won but one of those daft performances that have been the difference between top 4 chasing and top 6 chasing.

46 game league season and Callum’s brittle body?

Gvardiol owners of the world rejoice

Sayanora this summer. Great goalscorer but about as robust as a wet paper towel.

Happy at that. A whole summer to condition up for Beast Mode next season.

Howay United, into these quinoa-eating Quentins.

I remember the mackems rejected their group’s original idea of Sportswashing in Sports Direct font.

It’s like some sort of fever dream.

Fancy we marmalise these tomorrow.

@brummie

Newcastle Specific Player of the Season: Gordon Young player of the season (21 or lower): Miley Season to forget: Tonali Most Improved: Gordon Unsung Hero: Burn Signing of the Season: Livramento Goal of the season: Joelinton v Milan Moment of the season: The PSG game Low point of the season: The Milan game Manager rating (Out of 10): 8 Premier League Specific Player of the Season: Foden Young player of the season (21 or lower): Crack Whore Garnacho Manager of the Season: Emery Season to forget: @Froggy

Newcastle United are leading the race to sign 20-year-old Sporting Lisbon and Ivory Coast centre-back Ousmane Diomande, who has a release clause of 80m euros (£68.7m). (A Bola - in Portuguese) ?

They’ll take the humping v Arsenal and bring them all back for our game.

Played it and now discovered I still have my second Wildcard to use next week.