Hank Marvin

Ahaha, fuck I can't unsee it now. All that work down...or up, the shitter.

Time to kill, space to fill

+5 Fire Resistance -5 Frost Resistance Gets an armor bonus when active on second roll if opponent is wearing Red.

To the tune of 'Lola' by the Kinks I met him in a club goin down the pan Where the football's rank & the owners from IRRRRRAN AYE, ARR, AY, EN, IRRRRANNN He squared up to me and he asked me to fight I asked him his name And in a thick scouse voice he said, GORRRRRDONNN GEE OHH ARR DEE, OHHHHH ENN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN WELL, HE'S NOT THE WORLDS NICEST GUY BUT WHEN HE SPRINTS DOWN THE LINE DEFENDERS CRY! OH MY GORRRRRDONNN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN WELL I'M NOT DUMB, BUT IT'S FUCKIN BIZARRE TO SEE THE GRAND OLD TEAM, CHASINNNN HIS CAR OH MY GORRRRRDONNN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN GORRRRRDONNN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN GUH-GUH, GUH-GUH, GORRRRRDONNN Ad Infinitum, etc etc

He's going to do great

You do need one of those to fuck like. Ugly, but integral.

Fucker moves faster than Jolteon.

Just took some quibbling about the cheese.

Promise me, if he does, you'll run down the street chasing him, shouting "yer not fit t'wear the shirt LADDDDD!" whilst filming it on your shaky camera phone. The circle of life is a beautiful thing.

It's my boyhood forum. Don't spit your dummy out

Yeh, it really takes the piss.

Cos he's a blubbering wreck.

And what happens to rats that don't leave a sinking ship? Do they end up playing for Boyhood Club FC in heaven? Sounds like Boyhood Rats FC is very badly advised. Either a Dead Boyhood Rat or a poor adviser twat.

And now he's getting his Manhood Club. So shut the fuck up.

I'll be sure to run down the road and record it on my phone camera, whilst shouting: "MAHONEYS WAS RIGHT! YER NOT FIT T'WEAR THE SHIRT LAD!" ...in a scouse accent.

The Everton that exists now is the one that chases a 21 year old kid down the street demanding to know why he hasn't saved them from the collective incompetence of the owner, manager and rest of the playing squad. Context matters. I want him, I think he's got a lot of the qualities we're looking for, and I think Eddie has big plans for this lad - But this is getting mental. I hope we can get him out of there soon for both our sakes - The stuff I've heard coming out of some EFC fans mouths about the lad is bordering on the sinister, and it's got to be affecting him on some level. If Moshiri and his clown board have a functioning brain cell between them, then they'd surely realize that the sooner this gets done, the better - A £60 million price tag is lunacy and is only going to come back to haunt them if this falls through due to their spite. Having observed what's going on at Everton from a distance though, it wouldn't surprise me.

I think that the minority opinion is that he would be a good signing - I'm in good signing camp. Perhaps a few of us on that side feel like the over-zealousness to write this lad of before he's even joined is just depressing, especially taking into consideration who he'll be training under and the miracles EH has pulled off already. I know the crowd will overwhelmingly rally behind him if he signs - I just didn't think the whole 'he's a cunt' analysis was that productive or fair... Anyway, getting a lot of mixed messages from 'pundits' and social media alike about whether it's even going through, so no point getting massively worked up about it either way.

Then I'll be sure not to send you my critique of Heidegger.

Well, for starters, I don't think we should begin our relationship with a young, potential signing by calling him a cunt. I don't know...it's not very...hospitable. Regarding him as a player - I understand peoples reservations - It's a lot of money, within the confines of tightening FFP, for raw, impetuous, potential, in an area that isn't currently a pressing matter (Even though he could possibly play as a 10). I get the dislike based on his altercation with our players the last time we met, and I can understand how some people might not like how he carries himself on and off the pitch... I understand the concerns, but I don't share them. Truthfully...he excites me When I saw him getting in our face, when I saw him in the Merseyside derby, skinning defenders and shithousing his way right under Liverpools skin - It made me smile It reminded me of some of the fiery bastards that we've had here in the past (Most of which admittedly never fulfilled their potential). He wears his heart on his sleeve, has electric pace, an acid tongue, he's brash, smug, he gets right in peoples faces, he winds them up & aggravates the opposition...He's a livewire. Whether or not this livewire will electrify us, or electrocute us...time will tell. One big thing he has going for him is that Eddie Howe wants him - And I think whatever potential he has, EH & co will reveal it - And they must think there's something there to reveal, or they wouldn't be in for him at all. Given their track record with signings so far, I wouldn't bet against them. We're building a team of skillful, skulldugging, shithousing, street fighters - A team of irreverent bastards who don't care who you are, they're here for the points - And if the term 'irreverent bastard' can be applied to any player in the PL - Then it's Anthony Gordon. He is not the end product, but he is exactly in the mould of the player we're currently looking for. We're not spending on ready-made 100mill+ super stars who have shot their bolt - The blueprint is to spend on young, hungry, upcoming players that can grow with us as a team - Bruno, Sven, Alex, Garang - And Flash has been identified as the next target. I'm not going to change your mind if it's already made up, but I hope at least if he does join, then you'll get behind the lad. He's 21, he's a kid relatively speaking - And in the past week he's had a substantial section of his own clubs supporters turn on him, and a select few scumbags chase him down a street and surround his car demanding to know why he hasn't singlehandedly saved them from their collective incompetence. If we are to sign him, then our arms should be open. We should embrace him. He's a confidence player - And we're going to need to build his confidence back up as a fanbase if we're going to see the best of him. Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth - The deal will probably fall through now I've written my fucking Anthony Gordon dissertation Whatever happens - If he signs - Then he becomes one of us - And I'll be backing the lad - Regardless of how many fucking bottles of peroxide he uses on his barnet - Hopefully we can all agree on that. Namaste.

If lacking quality in the final third is his problem, then it's a problem shared with the vast majority of our squad, who have years on him. This may fall through yet, who knows - But I think it would be a shame. He's not the end product by any stretch, there's a lot of potential - But if anyone is capable of making good on it, it's EH.

[Insert generic insult with the word 'cunt' here] That's what you want to hear right?