Hank Marvin

Fans before the signing... Fans a few months after the signing...

You missed the hyphen.

I guess being a cunt and being a great player aren't mutually exclusive then. And obviously being a precipitous, hyperbolic, reactionary and being a cunt certainly aren't.

There's a great player in there... If only we had someone who could turn young, raw, impetuous potential into a skinning, speed demon, shithouse winger...

Could work.

Newcastle United would be the making of Anthony Gordon. I saw it in the Merseyside derby last year, despite it being a draw, I saw him skin & shithouse his way right under Liverpool's skin. It made me smile. He's a terrier. He never shuts up and he never stops. Not until recently. It's testament to Everton & Frank Lampard's incompetence that they've failed to direct his latent potential. Channelled in the right direction, under a smart & tactful manager (know anyone who fits that bill eh?!), he'd be vicious little weapon. Our weapon. He's 21. He has pace coming out his massive ears. A venomous tongue that would make a mamba blush. He's talented. And he has drive. A prophetic vision or perhaps a wild, miserable failure of a prediction it may be... But there's something about this lad that I see flourishing into a great player under us. Whatever transpires - And nothing may come of it, I don't think anyone should be so quick to write him off because the genius that is Farhad Moshiri and Frank Lampard have failed to bring his promise to bloom. A lucky escape from a sinking ship for him? A lucky cut price deal for a young, homegrown, potential gem for us, while other previous potential suitors have moved on? Lucky me, lucky you? Maybe. ?

UP THE NOON!

GIMME GIMME GIMME SVEN BOTMAN TO MARK TIGHT PLAYS OUT FROM THE BACK AND POCKETS STRIKERS ALL DAY GIMME GIMME GIMME SVEN BOTMAN TO MARK TIGHT BREAKS DOWN ALL THE COUNTERS AND HEADS THE BALL AWAY GIMME GIMME GIMME SVEN BOTMAN TO MARK TIGHT NO SENSE IN TRYING TO BEAT HIM WEEKEND OR WEEKDAY GIMME GIMME GIMME SVEN BOTMAN TO MARK TIGHT DIDN'T FANCY PASTA WANTED GREGGS ANYWAY

Unleash the fountains of shit.

"We're in for a pulsating 20 mins here" In the same fashion of a rectal endoscopy presumably.

Harsh. I was sitting on the toilet having a shit, so my head was bowed anyway. I'll leave the sad stains to your kegs. Checkmate.

*Ahem* *Ahem* Inspired by the recent events of our southern neighbours in the capital I call this piece... The day of the mackem play-off parade The fountains of London ran brown that day As ace lager cans were thrown away Into the Thames where they'd float astray Unlike league 1 where they'd eventually stay The day of the mackem play-off parade And how the people did gawp at the awful display The banker, the butcher, diplomatic attache Until compelled to turn away Nauseous with odours direct from Bombay (Shouldn't have eaten so much Panda Buffet) 'The freakshows in town' the people did say At the grim, grotesque red and white ballet I think some even got done for affray The day of the mackem play-off parade Then to wembley they'd eventually stagger Sunburnt & red, faces caked in fish batter Then one shouted out "av pissed mesel marra" As Wycombe marched on Sunlun dreams would go shatter And 'not today', the radio'd say The day of the mackem play-off parade So back to work and back to grind In the booth of the amusement ride Watchin the bairns act unrefined Applied to Lidl, but got declined Think Jermaine might be re-signed At 45 years & a day The cutting edge of sunlun forward play Definitely would have started today The day of the mackem play-off parade But there isn't really more to say Went to London, got put away Spent some money on a day To watch some monkeys mis-behave On the pitch & on the pave Shat in that fountain did you Dave? Oh sunlun fc, what a charade! On that day of the mackem play-off parade

I wouldn't advise it, but if you want a first hand experience, there's a few thousand of them swarming around Trafalgar square right now. Make sure you don't provoke them by staring at the ones shitting in the fountain, it's a cultural thing.

That's an hour of my life. Colorized, 2022. Also. WE'RE GOING TO SAVE LEEDS UNITED! I don't want Leeds down tbh, Nottingham Forest are gonna get promoted, then next year Blackburn Rovers and year after Sheff Wed etc etc... We're putting the band back together - I want my Panini Sticker album league 94/95. I'm still working how to put Wimbledon back together, may take a while...

"Those weren't bear-shaped clouds, nor shark, nor honey badger. Those are goddamned Magpies, and anyone know knows anything at all about them knows who is represented by those great birds of prey.… 'Behold the Magpies of the Lords of the North!" - Frophinia of the (york) Shire Burnley 1 Newcastle 2 Brentford 1 Leeds 1

Not really sure where to post this, as it's not really a chant or anything, but it would be good if somebody who knows a half-decent Geordie band could re-record this with the lyrical amendments below, it would make a terrific pre-game opener imo. The rain falls hard across the Geordie land Makes some people dream of sun and sand While others quietly pray for change That's where we came from Two boys playing in the freezing cold One kicks a ball, one kicks the road Mam calls out, but just one comes The other looks back and then he runs In a crystal sense of wrong and right We were born and raised in black and white! One learned to play, one loved to fight We were born and raised in black and white! We were born and raised in black and white! Brother supported the local team Spent his whole life waiting for a dream But when he looked at me, he saw no hope I lived by the sword I'd swing by the rope I had no dream, I had no plan My anger felt good In the fist of my right hand The copper asked how come you killed that man I said I don't know why... Welcome home said the cold moonlight We were born and raised in black and white! One lived for a dream, one dreams of life We were born and raised in black and white! We were born and raised in black and white! Someone handed me a cigarette They offered me my last request I prayed my brothers dream be blessed And then they sent him in He came to me with tear-filled eyes To say his peace, his last goodbyes He swore he'd never understand I said it's just what life had planned It's destiny... DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS FOR US TONIGHT! WE WERE BORN AND RAISED IN THE BLACK AND WHITE! THESE MAGPIES FLY, THESE MAGPIES FIGHT! WE WERE BORN AND RAISED IN THE BLACK AND WHITE! THROUGH THE DARK, INTO THE LIGHT! WE ARE BORN AND RAISED IN THE BLACK AND WHITE! WE ARE BORN AND RAISED IN THE BLACK AND WHITE!

Ever notice how clubs that are taken over generally have some sort of rebranding update to their club logo, which generally simplifies the design? Well I've been playing around with creating a new club emblem for a laugh cos I'm a sad bar stuard. Although I'm not a massive fan of oversimplification (because it ends up looking cheap and nasty like the Fulham crest), tried to balance beauty with simplicity... Now go ahead and slate me for being a talentless hack! Or, if that's a bit stark for ye...

Humous for breakfast, burgers for lunch and haggis / rarebit for supper, tasty.

They're trying to shame you into condemning your own team, and the singular opportunity that lies before us. In the words of the great Michael Corleone; "Don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever." We need to close ranks & remain steadfast in our support for our club. Our government, as well as successive governments in the western world, have done trade and maintained diplomatic relations with KSA for over half a century - Our government in particular has supplied arms and military equipment to KSA for decades. This, goes by unnoticed or barely spoken of in the mainstream press, until... We are taken over. Now they're at DEFCON-1. Everything the Saudi's & their ancestors have been doing for over a thousand years - Beheadings, public executions for social and moral infractions, corporal punishment, a radically different social policy regarding women - These things are suddenly presented to us as though we were born yesterday, our innocent eyes and ears besmirched with the previously unknown horrors of the House of Saud - And we're meant to gawp, weep and present ourselves, aghast, at these unbelievable revelations... What we are not meant to do is question the timing of the highly coincidental, outward social displays of moral repugnance and condemnation of KSA with their takeover of our club - Especially in relation to our own government supplying them with war-grade weaponry longer than many of us will have been alive. You're not meant to question, 'why now'? or 'what about (insert morally questionable / dictatorial tyrant owner / country here)?' - Because their questions are rhetorical, and because they don't have an answer for their own hypocrisy. It's the media's job to whip up enough hysteria to frighten those with low amounts of intelligence into social conformity - The purpose, quite obviously, is to try and destabilize our football club, in the midst of it finding it's feet for the first time in nearly two decades. A lot of you are going to have decide how you are going to deal with this, because this is only going to intensify in the future as we go from relegation candidates to silverware challengers. The attempts to destroy the harmony and togetherness of our fanbase will only increase in number and severity, and it's not because these people are following some Benedictine moral code that keeps them up at night - They're paid (more often than not) agent provocateurs, whose job it is to whip up media hysteria, sow discord & create headlines for the purposes of self-enrichment and bourgeois social standing. Our club will be the whetstone they use to sharpen the blade that they intend to sacrifice us with. I say to you all, with facetious intent - Don't lose your head. The realities of the horror they throw at us are authentic, their intent is not. This is a game to them - The rules are simple - Destabilize & destroy NUFC and it's fans - And win - Fail - And lose. Eddie has set the example. Being a football fan doesn't necessitate having to have a opinion on geopolitics & current affairs, or, that you're required to share your opinion. But should we feel compelled to say something, then it's simply this - That our love for our club is neither a wish to see it cut off from the backing it is desperately in need of, nor an endorsement of foreign power who our own government is already in bed with. Don't let them get away with the false dichotomy of 'either / or'. We're fans of our football club and wish to see it succeed. If they want to accuse you of being a stooge or an unwitting puppet of foreign regimes, or any other of the double-barreled op-ed Guardian cliché's - Then it works both ways - Brutal middle-eastern adventurist wars, millions of dead for neo-con lies, a government supplying enough military hardware to propel war for a decade, the sanctioning of takeovers to other foreign, morally-questionable characters and companies, a world cup they will undoubtedly promote & report on in a country using modern day slave labor, bought through corruption at the highest echelons of FIFA, and on, and on, and on. But do not let them get to you by acting hysterically, getting emotionally charged or doing something stupid or rash that will give them more fuel for their narrative. We close ranks, we support each other, we support the team & the manager, and where we can - The board, and our collective aspirations to see our team do well. If the vigor and vehemence with which they have went at us in the last few days has shocked you, then strap yourself in, because this ride has no breaks - We're going to have to learn to deal with the highs and lows of the rollercoaster ride we're on with equal parts, amusement, restraint & jubilation - A paradoxical concoction of emotions for sure, but a one that will likely mirror the twists and turns yet to come. Keep the faith. NUFC Forever.

Explain the difference to me between the US and the UK killing millions of Iraqi's and Afghan's in their appalling war for a 'democracy' and Vladimir Putin attempting the seize the Ukraine by force - Go ahead, please. The only difference is that it's ok when we do it because you're conditioned to think that when we kill millions of people, that it's noble. What a fucking joke. War is appalling, full stop. And if you're going to apply harsh means of treatment to Russians on the basis of what the Russian government has done, then the same treatment should be applied to the leaders of other warmongering states, including ours and the good ol' US of A.

These people who attempt to promote themselves as a paragon of morality whilst the sport their involved in is awash with corrupt money from around the world, and to single out Amanda for saying that Abaramovich who has been nothing but an excellent steward of his club is being harshly treated for being Russian and wealthy, is utterly absurd. What the fuck exactly beyond being Russian and wealthy has Abramovich got to do with Vladimir Putin's geopolitical ambitions & foreign policy? Do they think old Vlad is taking the council of a middle-aged Ruski playboy who's main ambition is to win pieces of shiny metal for his swanky London club? And if they want to talk about collective punishment as a means of putting pressure on Putin - Shouldn't the same go when this country is involved in illegal middle-eastern wars that kill millions of poor and working class people who never asked for their country to be invaded by the UK and the USA? Perhaps English clubs, and wealthy English people should be frozen out of sport and out of the economic system every time we go on some adventurist war on behalf of the international elite and American Neo-cons? Before these berks open their mouths, they should start with "I, hypocrite".

They don't actually, they have the same +10 GD as Wycombe & Sheff Wed - I'm assuming after tying on GD it goes in favour of who has the most goals scored?!

MARREH, WHESE GEWL WARR IHT? AWWW WHESE GEWCH MAN?!

AHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!