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Chelsea (away) Pre match thread


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Should be:

 

      ^         Martins    Viduka     ^
      |                                          |
      |                                          |
N'Zogbia    Emre     Butt      Milner
    ^                                        ^
     |                                         |
Enrique     Taylor    Faye      Beye

                      
                          Given

 

Will be:

 

    ^                  Viduka   <----------------|
    |                                                   Martins
    |             ^
    |            /
Milner      /                                        ^
      ^     /                                          |
      |     /                                           |
      |    |                                            |
      |   /                                             |
      |  |                    Butt       Geremi-------->
      | /                   Smith                   |  
N'Zogbia  Rozenhal  Cacapa       Beye

                         Given

 

And no, I don't know what the f#ck that second formation is supposed to be either, but that seems to be what Sam is determined to play.

 

I'll not predict the score but I will predict we'll get beat and not have more than 3 shots on target all game.

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What's the squad?

 

Whoever it takes at LB I want to see Zog on the left midfield and Duff on right midfield and a solid centre in a 4-4-2.

 

They don't have Drogba and are clever around the box, I think we need footballers at CB not cloggers in this game, players who can read the game, so I'd go with Roz and Cacapa. I don't think Enrique is ready for this league right now and I wouldn't select him.

 

If we're going to lose this game I want us to lose it while trying to win the bloody thing, it can be done.

 

So, depending on the squad...

 

                  Given

Beye Rozenhal Cacapa (Taylor, Edgar or even bloody Carr if he's fit. I want to see Zog on the left of midfield attacking them)

Duff     Faye      Butt      Zog

            Smith Martins

 

I quite like the sound of this. I'd probably play Viduka ahead of Smith, if only to dissuade us from playing long balls, Oba showed against Arsenal it's very unlikely he's going to be getting on the end of flick ons anyway. Also, fuck it, let's have a look at Enrique!

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Should be:

 

      ^         Martins    Viduka     ^
      |                                          |
      |                                          |
N'Zogbia    Emre     Butt      Milner
    ^                                        ^
     |                                         |
Enrique     Taylor    Faye      Beye

                      
                          Given

 

Will be:

 

    ^                  Viduka   <----------------|
    |                                                   Martins
    |             ^
    |            /
Milner      /                                        ^
      ^     /                                          |
      |     /                                           |
      |    |                                            |
      |   /                                             |
      |  |                    Butt       Geremi-------->
      | /                   Smith                   |  
N'Zogbia  Rozenhal  Cacapa       Beye

                         Given

 

And no, I don't know what the f#ck that second formation is supposed to be either, but that seems to be what Sam is determined to play.

 

I'll not predict the score but I will predict we'll get beat and not have more than 3 shots on target all game.

 

mackems.gif

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chris-r..............3 shots on target all game would be a massive improvment

 

Yeah, I'm gonna count any backpasses by their players as shots on target for us though. I mean, you just never know - That ball just might take a nasty bobble over the goalie's foot. It's happened before.

 

Actually, maybe that's Sam's master plan away from home - Keep a clean sheet and hope one of their players get's so frustrated that he overhits a backpass and sticks it in his own net? Maybe Viduka isn't really just standing there imobile in the opposition box for 90 minutes, maybe he's got secret instructions to dig divots in their penalty area while everyone else is chasing the ball so that backpasses might hit them and get deflected in?

 

Bonkers I know, but it still makes more sense than our current 'tactics'. What was it Sherlock Homes said?

 

"When you've ruled out all the probable options, then whatever's left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

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chris-r..............3 shots on target all game would be a massive improvment

 

Yeah, I'm gonna count any backpasses by their players as shots on target for us though. I mean, you just never know - That ball just might take a nasty bobble over the goalie's foot. It's happened before.

 

Actually, maybe that's Sam's master plan away from home - Keep a clean sheet and hope one of their players get's so frustrated that he overhits a backpass and sticks it in his own net? Maybe Viduka isn't really just standing there imobile in the opposition box for 90 minutes, maybe he's got secret instructions to dig divots in their penalty area while everyone else is chasing the ball so that backpasses might hit them and get deflected in?

 

Bonkers I know, but it still makes more sense than our current 'tactics'. What was it Sherlock Homes said?

 

"When you've ruled out all the probable options, then whatever's left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

 

Nah, I think Sam is much wiser than that.  The idea is that we play so s****, the opposition, in this case Chelsea, become confused that we are somehow a Premier League team.  As a result, both fans and players become disillusioned and think they are in some sort of warped dream as they can't believe they are watching such s*** football from one team on the pitch.  He therefore hopes that they become dizzy with thought, and thus their own game falters as a result of this bewilderness that has hit them.  If this happens, then he will encourage his left back to attack whilst the opposition are weak and perhaps sneak a goal.  If not, it's a hard-earned 0-0 draw.

 

It all makes perfect sense, as Derby and Wigan have rattled us, not falling for Sam's devious shenanigans, having experienced such shiteness when playing against Colchester, Walsall and the likes in the fizzy pop leagues.

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Should be:

 

      ^         Martins    Viduka     ^
      |                                          |
      |                                          |
N'Zogbia    Emre     Butt      Milner
    ^                                        ^
     |                                         |
Enrique     Taylor    Faye      Beye

                      
                          Given

 

Will be:

 

    ^                  Viduka   <----------------|
    |                                                   Martins
    |             ^
    |            /
Milner      /                                        ^
      ^     /                                          |
      |     /                                           |
      |    |                                            |
      |   /                                             |
      |  |                    Butt       Geremi-------->
      | /                   Smith                   |  
N'Zogbia  Rozenhal  Cacapa       Beye

                         Given

 

And no, I don't know what the f#ck that second formation is supposed to be either, but that seems to be what Sam is determined to play.

 

I'll not predict the score but I will predict we'll get beat and not have more than 3 shots on target all game.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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Should be:

 

      ^         Martins    Viduka     ^
      |                                          |
      |                                          |
N'Zogbia    Emre     Butt      Milner
    ^                                        ^
     |                                         |
Enrique     Taylor    Faye      Beye

                      
                          Given

 

Will be:

 

    ^                  Viduka   <----------------|
    |                                                   Martins
    |             ^
    |            /
Milner      /                                        ^
      ^     /                                          |
      |     /                                           |
      |    |                                            |
      |   /                                             |
      |  |                    Butt       Geremi-------->
      | /                   Smith                   |  
N'Zogbia  Rozenhal  Cacapa       Beye

                         Given

 

And no, I don't know what the f#ck that second formation is supposed to be either, but that seems to be what Sam is determined to play.

 

I'll not predict the score but I will predict we'll get beat and not have more than 3 shots on target all game.

 

I was wondering 'How the hell did you manage to get hold of Allerdyce's Scientific Play-Book' then noticed that Smth and Butt were too far forward.  This has been taken from Don Howe's 'keep the ball in the air as much as possible as the ground is too unpredictable' play-book from the looks of it.

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Guest sicko2ndbest

Lawros prediction

 

Chelsea v Newcastle

 

 

This will be an interesting game particularly with Chelsea down to the bare bones with injuries.

 

Newcastle are strangely playing many of their players out of position at the moment and the morale and confidence is low too. Chelsea should just have enough to sneak it.

 

 

Match preview

Prediction: 2-1

 

 

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Guest Alan Shearer 9

Think Chelsea will batter us, dressing room unrest and the shadow of Barton's arrest over us; can't see it going well.

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d'you reckon allardyce will still name barton in the 11 as a show of solidarity ?

 

Surely not.

 

As for the game, I think it will either be us nicking a 0-0 draw or playing well and losing 0-1. No matter how shit we are, we very rarely get absolutely hammered by the big 4 clubs (Liverpool home this year excepted.)

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Guest Alan Shearer 9

Think Chelsea will batter us, dressing room unrest and the shadow of Barton's arrest over us; can't see it going well.

 

...arrest and unrest there's a song in there somewhere.. bluerazz.gif

 

I am listening to The Clash actually, they would do a good song about us right now; masters of the catchy chorus

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