So where the f*ck does Alan Smith play now then?

[Unbelievable]

Hopefully someone like Wigan or Birmingham will come in for him in the Summer.

 

and he will do well in Wigan just like Bramble does  

 

Oh aye, because he's been CLASS this season.

 

Scored more goals than Smith this season, and possibly caused fewer opposition goals..

[Guest toonlass]

He should play left back - left back in the dressing room.

 

 

boom tish!

[Guest battyleespeed]

With Owen we need to play forward who can linkup wide players, midfield and create space for Owen. Somebody who would win decent amount of passes played long or through the midfield and then spread the play to wings or lay it off to midfielders joining attack. Martins will not be the answer for those requirements. Viduka could be but he is never fit. Smith is the closest we've got and then next in line are Ameobi and Carroll, both hardly going to be much better than Smith in that role given how things are going.

 

I don't think there is any realistic solution between now and summer other than persist with Smith & Owen combination.

 

.....I know its somewhat unorthodox suggestion but I would like to see us try Smith and Ameobi up front with Owen coming in from the right. Smith and Ameobi could unsettle opposition with their physical play (say what you say but Ameobi can bring down the ball and lay it off) and Owen coming in from the right he would have more space to work with. Also, it would create space for our right back or covering midfielder to exploit should the full back be drawn in with Owen.

 

...it would look something like this:

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka   Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt           

 

 

Taylor           Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

[Theregulars]

In a vat of acid? On a weak rope bridge over a live volcano?

 

JUST GET HIM AWAY FROM MY TEAM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

 

When I saw his ugly face in the starting line-up for Saturday I turned off the TV. We are never going to win a match with him on the pitch, he's just shit. End of.

[Unbelievable]

With Owen we need to play forward who can linkup wide players, midfield and create space for Owen. Somebody who would win decent amount of passes played long or through the midfield and then spread the play to wings or lay it off to midfielders joining attack. Martins will not be the answer for those requirements. Viduka could be but he is never fit. Smith is the closest we've got and then next in line are Ameobi and Carroll, both hardly going to be much better than Smith in that role given how things are going.

 

I don't think there is any realistic solution between now and summer other than persist with Smith & Owen combination.

 

.....I know its somewhat unorthodox suggestion but I would like to see us try Smith and Ameobi up front with Owen coming in from the right. Smith and Ameobi could unsettle opposition with their physical play (say what you say but Ameobi can bring down the ball and lay it off) and Owen coming in from the right he would have more space to work with. Also, it would create space for our right back or covering midfielder to exploit should the full back be drawn in with Owen.

 

...it would look something like this:

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka  Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt         

 

 

Taylor          Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

 

You would play Smith if Martins was fit to play?! My user name somehow seems appropriate..

[thedudeabides]

With Owen we need to play forward who can linkup wide players, midfield and create space for Owen. Somebody who would win decent amount of passes played long or through the midfield and then spread the play to wings or lay it off to midfielders joining attack. Martins will not be the answer for those requirements. Viduka could be but he is never fit. Smith is the closest we've got and then next in line are Ameobi and Carroll, both hardly going to be much better than Smith in that role given how things are going.

 

I don't think there is any realistic solution between now and summer other than persist with Smith & Owen combination.

 

.....I know its somewhat unorthodox suggestion but I would like to see us try Smith and Ameobi up front with Owen coming in from the right. Smith and Ameobi could unsettle opposition with their physical play (say what you say but Ameobi can bring down the ball and lay it off) and Owen coming in from the right he would have more space to work with. Also, it would create space for our right back or covering midfielder to exploit should the full back be drawn in with Owen.

 

...it would look something like this:

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka  Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt         

 

 

Taylor          Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

 

Jesus wept.

[Shak]

Smith and Ameobi up front.

 

Owen on the wing.

[GM]

In answer to the OP and thread title:

 

Half-way up Mike Ashley's arsehole.

[Syrette]

Smith and Ameobi up front.

 

Owen on the wing.

 

What are you on about, would be pace in abundance. Barcelona who?

[Cheshire Mag]

Smith and Ameobi up front.

 

Owen on the wing.

 

We've got Mickey Mickey Mickey Owen on the wing, on the wing.....................

[Syrette]

Might as well bring Micky Quinn back while we're at it.

[Cheshire Mag]

Maybe Frank Hudspeth could sort out our defence aswel?

[Troll]

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka  Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt         

 

 

Taylor          Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

 

That makes Allardyce's selections look good.

[Syrette]

Can't understand anyone wanting Smith or Ameobi before Martins.

[Troll]

One of them's bad enough, imagine both of them together!

[James]

I know how this thread is going to end.

 

95th minute in the final game of the season. Score is 0-0. If Newcastle can't convert this corner, they are going down.

 

Emre swings in the corner. Taylor gets his head to the ball and it rattles off the underside of the crossbar. Ball lands at Smith's feet, and his toe poke is blocked on the line. Ball falls to Shola who tries a backheel but misses andthe ball rolls outside of the area to Nicky Butt who hits a terrible shot going well wide. Except the ball deflects off Smith's arse and into the back of the net for his only goal of the season. Newcastle are saved, everyone celebrates.  Keegan runs on to the pitch with an expression of joy, Terry Mac is suffocated by a Derek Wright bear hug. The offside flag is raised. Smith was offside. Newcastle have been relegated.

[Incognito]

Id like to see him play for Baghdad Rovers with a shirt that reads,"I hate Sunnis",on the front,and"I am Shiite"on the back.

[Guest Dev]

Maybe he can go serve Joey's time in the big house.

[midds]

Given his form he should be struggling to get a game for the stiffs. I honestly thought he'd be a decent signing who could fit in and do 'ok' in a few positions. I knew he wasn't top drawer but I never expected him to be this bad...

 

The fact he's played a part in the vast majority of games and has only mustered a handful of shots on target says it all. Stephen Hawking has as many goals as Smith this season. 

[Guest clownhat]

With Owen we need to play forward who can linkup wide players, midfield and create space for Owen. Somebody who would win decent amount of passes played long or through the midfield and then spread the play to wings or lay it off to midfielders joining attack. Martins will not be the answer for those requirements. Viduka could be but he is never fit. Smith is the closest we've got and then next in line are Ameobi and Carroll, both hardly going to be much better than Smith in that role given how things are going.

 

I don't think there is any realistic solution between now and summer other than persist with Smith & Owen combination.

 

.....I know its somewhat unorthodox suggestion but I would like to see us try Smith and Ameobi up front with Owen coming in from the right. Smith and Ameobi could unsettle opposition with their physical play (say what you say but Ameobi can bring down the ball and lay it off) and Owen coming in from the right he would have more space to work with. Also, it would create space for our right back or covering midfielder to exploit should the full back be drawn in with Owen.

 

...it would look something like this:

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka   Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt           

 

 

Taylor           Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

 

urm... speechless....

 

..

 

no wait i'm not, thats a fucking stupid lineup

[Karjala]

Last nights Sheff U - Boro match made me remember the piss take that was Jon Stead, signed for £1.8m and didnt score for 11 months...

 

We paid £6m for Smith.

[Syrette]

Indeed. Some very decent players changed clubs last Summer for around what we paid for Smith. Indeed some, like Santa Cruz, cost not far off half as much!

 

I've not written Barton off just yet but to think we paid £11-12m for the both of them... its just disgraceful.

[Tachikoma]

Back on topic... in the following order:

1. Sunderland

2. Tottenham

3. Man Utd

4. Liverpool

 

Ideally, every team we play against, every week.

[Cronky]

With Owen we need to play forward who can linkup wide players, midfield and create space for Owen. Somebody who would win decent amount of passes played long or through the midfield and then spread the play to wings or lay it off to midfielders joining attack. Martins will not be the answer for those requirements. Viduka could be but he is never fit. Smith is the closest we've got and then next in line are Ameobi and Carroll, both hardly going to be much better than Smith in that role given how things are going.

 

I don't think there is any realistic solution between now and summer other than persist with Smith & Owen combination.

 

.....I know its somewhat unorthodox suggestion but I would like to see us try Smith and Ameobi up front with Owen coming in from the right. Smith and Ameobi could unsettle opposition with their physical play (say what you say but Ameobi can bring down the ball and lay it off) and Owen coming in from the right he would have more space to work with. Also, it would create space for our right back or covering midfielder to exploit should the full back be drawn in with Owen.

 

...it would look something like this:

 

                  Ameobi/Viduka   Smith

 

N'Zogbia/                                            Owen

Duff                Emre        Butt           

 

 

Taylor           Cacapa      Faye          Beye

 

 

                              Harper

 

 

 

Actually that's a good analysis of the problem, although I don't agree with your solution. Owen doesn't have the right skills to play wide, and with Smith and Shola you'd have two target men.

 

I'd agree that we do need someone who can link a main striker with the midfield. I'd try Duff or Emre in that role.

[Dokko]

Stick him at rightback.

 

The lad lacks shooting ability to be a striker, creativity to be a midfielder, so really he needs to be played further back because of his lack of talents.

 

Its why Fergie played him in mid in the 1st place, we need to take it one step further and convert him into a defender.

 

For a RB he's a good passer, good tackler, has a superb engine, hard worker, decent in the air, quick over short distances, and probably good at making forward runs. Note i said for a RB, not for a striker or a midfielder.

 

I'd rather sell him mind, but that's not whats being asked here.