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West Ham agree fee in region of £15m with Liverpool for Andy Carroll


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Witnesses saw him slump down with his head in his hands after the Jagerbombs and one Peroni. Then all of a sudden he perked up, alert, “like a meerkat”.

 

He stood up on the leg rest of the stool which tipped over. He then smashed against the floor of the bar area and was clutching his leg, shouting out in pain.

 

But his mates stood around laughing as Carroll lay in agony.

 

Shortly afterwards his female companion was seen massaging his leg at the roulette table – where he fell off another stool.

 

Then he limped off to a private function room, where he downed five more Peronis and sang on the karaoke machine before finally leaving alone at 6.30am. The following day, United boss Alan Pardew told journalists about an injury.

 

 

Everything about that is hilarious tbh.

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:lol: Mackem ITKs are getting themselves a spurs-like reputation

 

Deffo out lads, was Andy Carroll himself who told me mate after West Ham game. Even mentioned Fulham away as comeback game if all goes to plan.

 

Nearly splurted in me f***ing pants

 

 

:lol:

 

Lads, i heard that Catts is out, nearly shit mesel with excitement.

 

 

haha must be true!

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Guest BlacknWhiteArmy

The "Like a Meerkat" bit is the first bit that made me actually laugh out loud. Then the rest is just :spit:

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There was hell on when Enrique tweeted that he was out injured. I'm sure Pardew said "Now lads, don't post about injuries or team selection online, but it's fine to tell all and sundry verbally!"

 

So you believe what the mackem said?

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I was told a very similar story a few days ago by the lad who informed me about his night in the cells, so I don't doubt it's validity. That said the version that's been tarted up by the tabloid press is much funnier than the one I was told ("Aye, you know Carroll? Fell of a table in Aspers when mortal.")

 

I'm not concerned about him going out and getting pissed and results mean I'm only slightly annoyed about him aggravating his injury because he couldn't remain upright after a frankly pathetic amount of alcohol. I am however foaming that the southern press feel the need to put the number of drinks in capital letters as if FOUR Jagerbombs is alot :lol: They need to harden the fuck up, southern fairies.

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But gambler Simon Cook, 28, who witnessed the second fall in Aspers, said: “I could not believe his behaviour. He was absolutely hammered.

 

“When I went back to work my mates were telling me how he was going to sit out three games because of an injury. I couldn’t believe it. I knew how it really happened.”

 

Twat

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I love the use of caps lock. Classic journalism there. Imagine Watergate getting busted by these guys.

 

"THREE of the men were native-born CUBANS and another was said to have trained Cuban exiles for guerrilla activity after the 1961 BAY OF PIGS invasion."

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Guest Geordiesned

So let's get this right ...he was buying 30 Jägerbombs between 16 people. Meaning that 2 people only had 1 each. Puffs!

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