Michael Owen (now retired)

[Mike]

Would you rather be stuck in a cabin with Owen, no power, no internet and the game monopoly, or stuck in an elevator with Alan Pardew after a big night at the casino.

 

edit: You may not murder either one of them, and you cannot kill yourself. You have to endure it.

 

edit edit: Michael Owen wants to tell you about his horses, and Alan has a bottle of water. Every time he sips it he smacks his lips and goes "Ahhh". No level of violence is allowed.

 

Also, Alan keeps calling you "mate".

 

How long until you are rescued from the elevator?

 

They keep saying it'll take an hour, but you're going to be in there between 12-18 hours.

 

Deal breaker. I just couldn’t.

 

Owen in a cabin for me. At least I could walk out the door and scream.

 

Snowed in. No way out.

[LV]

Would you rather be stuck in a cabin with Owen, no power, no internet and the game monopoly, or stuck in an elevator with Alan Pardew after a big night at the casino.

 

edit: You may not murder either one of them, and you cannot kill yourself. You have to endure it.

 

edit edit: Michael Owen wants to tell you about his horses, and Alan has a bottle of water. Every time he sips it he smacks his lips and goes "Ahhh". No level of violence is allowed.

 

Also, Alan keeps calling you "mate".

 

How long until you are rescued from the elevator?

 

They keep saying it'll take an hour, but you're going to be in there between 12-18 hours.

 

Deal breaker. I just couldn’t.

 

Owen in a cabin for me. At least I could walk out the door and scream.

 

Snowed in. No way out.

 

Oh come on!

 

There is no way two people walk out of either scenario

[triggs]

5 days with Michael Owen ffs

[Superior Acuña]

Somehow this is easy for me: Pards. I hate Michael Owen substantially more.

[Happinesstan]

Definitely Pards I have a feeling that he would give me some money or buy some prostitutes when we got out.

 

He'd be calling prostitutes to come in. It wouldn't occur to him that the methods used to get them in, are the same methods necessary to get you out.

[Guest Howaythetoon]

Michael Owen 18-26 was simply an amazingly talented player who was devastating running with the ball at his feet, running onto balls threaded through to him and finishing off moves clinically.

 

When we signed him, he wasn’t that same devastating player he was when he first broke onto the scene of course and his-all-round finishing technique was never as fully developed in terms of power, range and the parts of his feet he would use to strike to get his shots off as others like Shearer for example.

 

But he was genuinely top-class and an equally classy finisher. As a footballer he was actually underrated I thought and under KK showed he could play and adapt his game away from what his game was all about during the first few years of his career.

 

He always possessed a clean first touch and the sharpness of mind to quickly look up and shift the ball on or carry it on himself. He was very neat and tidy and economical with the ball.

 

Prime Owen today would get as many goals as he did back then easily and in a Man City or Liverpool side of today, even more. He would have had no problem playing in either of those teams today as he wasn’t a lazy, tactically ignorant, one dimensional player as again, he proved under KK here.

 

Owen in his prime tearing it up domestically and internationally and Owen playing as an advanced attacking deep lying forward midfielder under KK towards the end of his career would more than hold his own today. He was just as effective as a lone man for Liverpool and England as he was alongside a centre-forward.

 

He was also deceptively good in the air.

 

Considering his many injuries and his early blasé mentality over the levels of commitment needed to push himself more,  he had the potential to be world-class and if not for those injuries and mental self doubts, he’d have gone pretty close.

 

Walcott was mentioned I saw, sorry, but Owen was on another level even when he was playing for Newcastle to him.

[Guest]

Aye, if circumstances had been right under Keegan I think he’d have stayed and been happy to. The role we’d created for him just behind Viduka & Martins was working. He was still scoring at 1 in 2-3 first half of that relegation season, he just downed tools once his contract was running down and knew he had no intention of staying here.

[JCONA]

Michael Owen is a colossal prick. End of thread.

 

Lock it, pls. 

 

also horse nonce

[bhoywhonder]

Michael Owen is a colossal prick. End of thread.

 

Lock it, pls. 

 

also horse nonce

 

 

(noun) + 'nonce' has become my go-to insult, it works in so many situations!

 

He is tho. Also a money nonce.

[Happinesstan]

Michael Owen is a colossal prick. End of thread.

 

Lock it, pls. 

 

also horse nonce

 

They groom horses, don't they?

[Deuce]

5 days

 

Why?

 

Five days is the limit of sanity, imo.

 

Sat there on day two looking at photos of his horses. He probably gives them pure human names as well the boring twat. "This is Sheryl. She loves sugar cubes but we don't give her any because candy is for babies."

 

[Mattoon]

:lol:

 

[Cronky]

Just as a sideline, I can remember some expert in biomechanics saying, at an early stage in Owen's career, that there was something in his running style that would make him vulnerable to muscle strains. The guy was offering his services to Owen to help him correct this fault.

 

The paper where this was reported was mocking this guy as some kind of quack. Sports science is advancing all the time, and I'm sure he'd be taken a lot more seriously now.

[Guest Howaythetoon]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

[Happinesstan]

Aye. A little known fact is that Colback was banished for bringing in a packet of Spangles.

[Raconteur]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

 

There’s merit to this. I hesitate to admit this here, but I share something with Michael Owen - posture-related hamstring strains. I remember being dismayed when a doctor tried to explain it to me, and he pretty much led with “Do you know Michael Owen?”

 

[Cronky]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

 

There’s merit to this. I hesitate to admit this here, but I share something with Michael Owen - posture-related hamstring strains. I remember being dismayed when a doctor tried to explain it to me, and he pretty much led with “Do you know Michael Owen?”

 

 

Have you considered consulting an Alexander therapist? The Alexander Technique is about identifying habits of movement and posture that create problems, and forming exercises to deal with them.

[Thomson Mouse]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

 

Fuck, that was unusually short.

[Guest Howaythetoon]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

 

Fuck, that was unusually short.

 

Felt a tightness in my wrist so as a precaution I took a rest from writing more incase.... ah fuck!

 

Think I’ve pulled something!

[Raconteur]

Ironically Rafa would have been great for him in terms of his injuries, I believe the extent of Rafa’s research into injury prevention, recovery and treatment even went as far as how things like unhealthy teeth/gums can effect the spine, back muscles etc. I’m sure he banned ice cream and wine gums from players’ diets ha ha.

 

Owen has since claimed a lot of his injuries were simply down to the body he was born with and a natural consequence just like his pace which he could do nothing about. He did work hard on his injuries though and I imagine it must have been so frustrating for him and at times mentally demoralising and soul destroying.

 

I believe all injuries are not some natural consequence of the body, but how the body reacts or not to any physical demands placed on it and for Owen I believe that natural pace of his by the time he started warming up and training properly as an adult, they had already been hammered badly by the demands on them during all the years playing as a kid. Had they been looked after better they would have stood up more to any resistance than they eventually did later on in his career.

 

How do you manage a kid’s muscles/fitness etc. when they are young. You’d almost need a crystal ball to determine a kid like Owen and his muscles etc will need some extra special care. I think some kids play too much and in Owen’s case, the number of games he played as a teenager at the level he did and the subsequent demands on his body was definitely a major factor that contributed to his injuries and later ability to recover or manage them.

 

There’s merit to this. I hesitate to admit this here, but I share something with Michael Owen - posture-related hamstring strains. I remember being dismayed when a doctor tried to explain it to me, and he pretty much led with “Do you know Michael Owen?”

 

 

Have you considered consulting an Alexander therapist? The Alexander Technique is about identifying habits of movement and posture that create problems, and forming exercises to deal with them.

 

Thanks for your thoughts, but I’m so old and decrepit that I’d probably tear a hammy rushing to catch a bus.

[D. Yimentov]

Just as a sideline, I can remember some expert in biomechanics saying, at an early stage in Owen's career, that there was something in his running style that would make him vulnerable to muscle strains. The guy was offering his services to Owen to help him correct this fault.

 

The paper where this was reported was mocking this guy as some kind of quack. Sports science is advancing all the time, and I'm sure he'd be taken a lot more seriously now.

 

That's interesting. He did have an unusual style forsomeone who could run so fast.

[LV]

This little runt is live on TalkSport at 8am if anyone fancies turning up at work in an even worse mood than they are already in. Think Allardyce is in the studio at the same time too :anguish:/

[Tiresias]

This little runt is live on TalkSport at 8am if anyone fancies turning up at work in an even worse mood than they are already in. Think Allardyce is in the studio at the same time too :anguish:/

 

Did it create a twat singularity that sucked them all in never to be seen again? Please?

[LV]

Unfortunately hippo heed and Brazil’s heads have entered into a symbiotic orbit and become a binary star rather than a singularity. Hopefully they’ll go supernova and annihilate themselves soon, taking Owen and his brochure with them. 

[Mike]

Restart the N-O book club with Owens book?