The Relegationometer™ (2023/24)

[Dancing Brave]

  On 22/04/2022 at 10:43, McCormick said:

No way we get a takeover and a Lampard-instigated Everton relegation in the same season. The world isn’t that kind.

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...add the mackems getting beat in the play offs to get the kindest world.

 

 

[midds]

Everton going down:

 

1) it's funny. Huge club going down is news, very humorous and fairly interesting

2) their fans. Not all, Neil is a diamond, but an awful lot of them are canny big pricks

3) easier games. Burnley home and away is far easier than Everton home and away. Maybe worth a point or 2

4) Pickford. He's an utter, weapons-grade cunt - first hand experience. 

[Kid Icarus]

1) Frank Lampard is a Tory

2) see 1

[Stottie]

Burnley gave us our biggest win of the season, the first one. If its going to be a meaningless game for us, perhaps we could return the favour.

 

Salvation through sacking Dyche with no replacement is also a great managerial twist.

[The Bard of Byker]

Balls to Everton. Let them get on with it. We need to finish as high as we possibly can. 

[McCormick]

  On 22/04/2022 at 19:42, midds said:

Everton going down:

 

1) it's funny. Huge club going down is news, very humorous and fairly interesting

2) their fans. Not all, Neil is a diamond, but an awful lot of them are canny big pricks

3) easier games. Burnley home and away is far easier than Everton home and away. Maybe worth a point or 2

4) Pickford. He's an utter, weapons-grade cunt - first hand experience. 

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5) The way they treated Rafa, who was never going to take them down.

 

[Emotic]

  On 23/04/2022 at 04:00, McCormick said:

 

 

5) The way they treated Rafa, who was never going to take them down.

 

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These are the things which are only 20/20 in hindsight though. They might have ended 13th to 17th with Rafa. They'd jump at it now, but under normal circumstances it would've resulted in a sacking and possibly actual physical harm come to him. He should never have accepted that job.

[GWN]

Depends on the levels of bitterness you hold 

[Groundhog63]

  On 22/04/2022 at 19:14, Dancing Brave said:

...add the mackems getting beat in the play offs to get the kindest world.

 

 

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In the very kindest world, Everton are toast by getting beat, at home off of Palace, whilst Burnley are humping Stevie G's Villa away. Then we can, happily, finish the season with aplomb at Turf Moor.

Wood, uncelebrated, hat-trick. AND the Mackems blow the play-offs, as per.

  On 22/04/2022 at 20:32, Kid Icarus said:

1) Frank Lampard is a Tory

2) see 1

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I don't get this Tory Frank hate. John Hall has donated more to the tories than he ever put into our club. £500k compared to nowt, to be exact. Also the Reuben family are major donors to the party of hate. Makes young Jamie slavering over food banks particularly galling. But that's just me 

[Kid Icarus]

  On 23/04/2022 at 06:08, Groundhog63 said:

In the very kindest world, Everton are toast by getting beat, at home off of Palace, whilst Burnley are humping Stevie G's Villa away. Then we can, happily, finish the season with aplomb at Turf Moor.

Wood, uncelebrated, hat-trick. AND the Mackems blow the play-offs, as per.

I don't get this Tory Frank hate. John Hall has donated more to the tories than he ever put into our club. £500k compared to nowt, to be exact. Also the Reuben family are major donors to the party of hate. Makes young Jamie slavering over food banks particularly galling. But that's just me 

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 I also don't like Jamie Reuben, Staveley, or our Saudi owners FWIW. Was far too young to understand anything when SJH was our owner. 

[Guest]

  On 23/04/2022 at 06:08, Groundhog63 said:

In the very kindest world, Everton are toast by getting beat, at home off of Palace, whilst Burnley are humping Stevie G's Villa away. Then we can, happily, finish the season with aplomb at Turf Moor.

Wood, uncelebrated, hat-trick. AND the Mackems blow the play-offs, as per.

I don't get this Tory Frank hate. John Hall has donated more to the tories than he ever put into our club. £500k compared to nowt, to be exact. Also the Reuben family are major donors to the party of hate. Makes young Jamie slavering over food banks particularly galling. But that's just me 

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One day if Lampard becomes owner or part-owner that helps save the club we might change our views too.

[Groundhog63]

  On 23/04/2022 at 06:31, Kid Icarus said:

 

 I also don't like Jamie Reuben, Staveley, or our Saudi owners FWIW. Was far too young to understand anything when SJH was our owner. 

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Tis what it is , matey.

I mean rich people are gonna tory. That's the way of it. I don't expect the West End/NUFC food bank kids to chase him but there's a level of hypocrisy in any tory even donating never mind having photo shoots. 

Don't vote for the cunts then we might not need food banks in their 1000s.

As I say I just don't get the Tory Frank bit.

[Guest HTT II]

Win today and we can put this one to bed. Maybe even a draw, but a win would be huge!

[Gazzaschicken]

Evertons financial blood bath if relegated would be hilarious I'm not going to lie. £500m spent and relegated with a new stadium underconstruction. They have the 6th highest wage bill in the league and I bet there's no relegation clauses in the contracts. Ffp penalty brewing which they may just avoid but not guaranteed. 

 

Would love to see them go down! 

 

 

[PauloGeordio]

Apart from all the other amazing things going on for the club right now, not having to trudge through this nerve racking scenario ever again will be fantastic. One more win, come on lads finish strong 

[Kid Icarus]

  On 23/04/2022 at 06:41, Groundhog63 said:

Tis what it is , matey.

I mean rich people are gonna tory. That's the way of it. I don't expect the West End/NUFC food bank kids to chase him but there's a level of hypocrisy in any tory even donating never mind having photo shoots. 

Don't vote for the cunts then we might not need food banks in their 1000s.

As I say I just don't get the Tory Frank bit.

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There are plenty of well off people who are either apolitical or think this Tory government are a disgrace (Neville just off the top of my head, and way beyond that Fergie, Shankly, Busby, Clough, Nevin, Southall, Mick McCarthy and Peter Reid were/are socialists)

 

That doesn't mean they're saints or owt, but Lampard has been actively involved in politics - meeting and loving David Cameron, being touted for the Kensington seat a few years ago, and apparently having political ambitions as a Tory. Much like Sol Campbell and Karl Henry, that singles him out as going above and beyond in the Tory cunt stakes.

 

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by Kid Icarus

[Peppe]

I'm still very annoyed that we lost to Everton 

 

Would love for them to go down. 

 

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by Peppe

[r0cafella]

Not to digress or derail but as a forum for a club in the north east Tories being absolute cunts shouldn’t require much explaining. 

[Scotty66]

Would be amusing if Everton went down, they think they're far bigger than they actually are which is dangerous in itself. 

 

However if they don't I think they'll be in the same position next season, their squad isn't great at all and I doubt they'll be making many signings in the summer considering the financial position they're in? 

[Groundhog63]

  On 23/04/2022 at 06:50, Gazzaschicken said:

Evertons financial blood bath if relegated would be hilarious I'm not going to lie. £500m spent and relegated with a new stadium underconstruction. They have the 6th highest wage bill in the league and I bet there's no relegation clauses in the contracts. Ffp penalty brewing which they may just avoid but not guaranteed. 

 

Would love to see them go down! 

 

 

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If they stay up will there be a penalty imposed anyway or was that can kicked down the road?

[Groundhog63]

  On 23/04/2022 at 07:16, Kid Icarus said:

 

There are plenty of well off people who are either apolitical or think this Tory government are a disgrace (Neville just off the top of my head, and way beyond that Fergie, Shankly, Busby, Clough, Nevin, Southall, Mick McCarthy and Peter Reid were/are socialists)

 

That doesn't mean they're saints or owt, but Lampard has been actively involved in politics - meeting and loving David Cameron, being touted for the Kensington seat a few years ago, and apparently having political ambitions as a Tory. Much like Sol Campbell and Karl Henry, that singles him out as going above and beyond in the Tory cunt stakes.

 

 

 

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Fair doos, the tory cunt 

[Dr Venkman]

  On 22/04/2022 at 09:58, Emotic said:

No club owes any other club any favours. If we beat Burnley, it’s just Newcastle United doing what it’s supposed to do and Eddie Howe being a consummate professional. The silver lining is that if Everton indeed had to wait until the last day of the season to escape relegation, courtesy of Newcastle United, then Fat Frank will never be able to live it down. I hope he gets the sack thereafter and Everton then does a Sunderland death spiral.

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I want Lampard there as long as possible, he’s tragic.

[Geordie Ahmed]

  On 23/04/2022 at 07:46, Groundhog63 said:

If they stay up will there be a penalty imposed anyway or was that can kicked down the road?

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It sounds like they are going to avoid any punishment but they will be massively limited as to what they can spend in the summer, obviously relegation would just compound the issue 

[loki679]

How are they managing to avoid any punishment?

[Mazzy]

Are Aston Villa fans getting a bit nervous? If they lose today surely they will be dragged back into it somewhat. Especially considering they still have to play Burnely twice and their own form is pretty poor.