Nick Woltemade

[Infinitely Content]

We would need 15+ goals from the two wingers imo, like Mane & Salah and c.10 each from the 3 midfielders. It's a big ask. Woltemade could definitely help facilitate those around him and contribute himself, but I don't think we have that kind of goalscoring ability in our side currently. We would need big additions to function with a playmaking striker whose focus or strength is not getting in the box and scoring himself.

I'd rather just sign a proper striker personally.

[DC Magpie]

2 hours ago, Infinitely Content said:

I'd rather just sign a proper striker personally.

 

Good luck with signing a proper striker. What proper striker is coming here after this shit show? We don't even play a proper striker do we? Shit, we barely play offense.

 

"Come to Newcastle, where we can let you show many flashes of brilliance but then we'll just ask you to run around in circles and fuck your season because you're not fast. Oh, and we don't know anything else to do. Oh, and let's hope your national team coach isn't watching."  

[OverThere]

Yeah we player a winger as CF most of the time and have both the CF on the bench. What kind of F up logic is that??!

[Disco]

49 minutes ago, DC Magpie said:

 

Good luck with signing a proper striker. What proper striker is coming here after this shit show? We don't even play a proper striker do we? Shit, we barely play offense.

 

"Come to Newcastle, where we can let you show many flashes of brilliance but then we'll just ask you to run around in circles and fuck your season because you're not fast. Oh, and we don't know anything else to do. Oh, and let's hope your national team coach isn't watching."  

Cool post pal.

[AyeDubbleYoo]

6 hours ago, DC Magpie said:

 

Good luck with signing a proper striker. What proper striker is coming here after this shit show? We don't even play a proper striker do we? Shit, we barely play offense.

 

"Come to Newcastle, where we can let you show many flashes of brilliance but then we'll just ask you to run around in circles and fuck your season because you're not fast. Oh, and we don't know anything else to do. Oh, and let's hope your national team coach isn't watching."  

Don’t know where to start with this horseshit. 

[Frankly]

Harry Kane’s performance last night is the future for Nick. Focus of the attack, lots of runners off, flicking first time passes setting up chances galore. No wonder Bayern were after him. They could see his ability and position. Let’s hope Eddie has caught on.

[TRon]

2 hours ago, Frankly said:

Harry Kane’s performance last night is the future for Nick. Focus of the attack, lots of runners off, flicking first time passes setting up chances galore. No wonder Bayern were after him. They could see his ability and position. Let’s hope Eddie has caught on.

 

 

Harry was pretty hard to knock off the ball like. Wolte might need to start eating his weetabix and become a bit more of a cunt if he wants to follow in Kane's footsteps. 

[Infinitely Content]

Also Harry Kane is the complete, almost perfect footballer. He's genuinely phenomenal. I get the sentiment of Woltemade perhaps being able to model parts of his game on Kane's to increase effectiveness and involvement in the game, but he's a million miles away from being the footballer Kane is unfortunately.

[Sidg]

2 hours ago, Frankly said:

Harry Kane’s performance last night is the future for Nick. Focus of the attack, lots of runners off, flicking first time passes setting up chances galore. No wonder Bayern were after him. They could see his ability and position. Let’s hope Eddie has caught on.

 

I've thought for a while that Howe should study this Bayern team. We obviously don't have an Olise or a Diaz, and Wolte is no Kane (yet), but there's obviously a way of playing a less-than-mobile striker at the highest level of the intense modern game. Maybe it's nowhere near as simple as that. 

[The Butcher]

6 minutes ago, Infinitely Content said:

Also Harry Kane is the complete, almost perfect footballer. He's genuinely phenomenal. I get the sentiment of Woltemade perhaps being able to model parts of his game on Kane's to increase effectiveness and involvement in the game, but he's a million miles away from being the footballer Kane is unfortunately.

 

[TRon]

5 minutes ago, Infinitely Content said:

Also Harry Kane is the complete, almost perfect footballer. He's genuinely phenomenal. I get the sentiment of Woltemade perhaps being able to model parts of his game on Kane's to increase effectiveness and involvement in the game, but he's a million miles away from being the footballer Kane is unfortunately.

 

Kane was always a great footballer, but at Bayern what he's doing is immense considering how fast the football is played, and him being 32. 

 

Wissa's age wouldn't have been such an issue if he'd been able to perform at this level in what should still be his peak years. 

[Holloway]

No reason why Nick can't become a moocher,like

[Frankly]

55 minutes ago, TRon said:

 

Kane was always a great footballer, but at Bayern what he's doing is immense considering how fast the football is played, and him being 32. 

 

Wissa's age wouldn't have been such an issue if he'd been able to perform at this level in what should still be his peak years. 

When Kane was 24 years old he’d just returned from loan in division 1. I’m not saying Nick is peak Harry Kane yet but maybe he can get near to it.

[Mills and Boon]

That's bollocks. Kane had returned from loan and was in the Spurs team at 21 in the 13/14 season. He won the premier league young player of the year the next season. He was faster and stronger then than Woltemade will ever be.

 

It speaks to how utterly delusional our fanbase can be when they look at Kane playing last night and think to themselves "that could be Woltemade"

[DC Magpie]

2 hours ago, TRon said:

 

 

Harry was pretty hard to knock off the ball like. Wolte might need to start eating his weetabix and become a bit more of a cunt if he wants to follow in Kane's footsteps. 

 

Watching the game, I also was thinking Kane would be an excellent role model as to how to use Woltemade in a new system (he'll never be like Kane in a 4-4-3). It appeared Bayern ran a 4-2-3-1 with Kane up top, which is a system in which I think Nick would excel. I hope he gets that chance here.

 

Nick needs a tough summer in the weight room to be sure. With his frame he'll never be bulky, but he can definitely add some weight and muscle mass. He has a few weaknesses to work on to be sure and I think his strength is main among them (especially when the refs don't seem to be inclined to call fouls for him). Fortunately, it's also the easiest to address. 

[Novocastrian]

So we think Howe is going to have an epiphany and totally change the way he sets up his team; putting Woltemade up front and building the attack round him? He’s had all season to do this and has played Gordon and Osula ahead of him.

 

If Howe stays Woltemade will leave.

[DC Magpie]

1 hour ago, Novocastrian said:

So we think Howe is going to have an epiphany and totally change the way he sets up his team; putting Woltemade up front and building the attack round him? He’s had all season to do this and has played Gordon and Osula ahead of him.

 

If Howe stays Woltemade will leave.

Agree. I hope Nick gets a chance here. I’m not optimistic he will. 

[LFEE]

Listening to POTT and apparently he’s expected to be only 3rd choice CF for Germany.

[dcmk]

13 hours ago, Frankly said:

Harry Kane’s performance last night is the future for Nick. Focus of the attack, lots of runners off, flicking first time passes setting up chances galore. No wonder Bayern were after him. They could see his ability and position. Let’s hope Eddie has caught on.

Harry Kane can strike a ball,  knows how to get on to crosses and moves within the box.

 

Also doesn't get dispossessed everytime he gets the ball.

[Danh1]

5 minutes ago, dcmk said:

Harry Kane can strike a ball,  knows how to get on to crosses and moves within the box.

 

Also doesn't get dispossessed everytime he gets the ball.

The man you won’t have a bad word against has done loads to try and bring the best out of him mind. 

[Theregulars]

On 28/04/2026 at 02:33, DC Magpie said:

 

Good luck with signing a proper striker. What proper striker is coming here after this shit show? We don't even play a proper striker do we? Shit, we barely play offense.

 

"Come to Newcastle, where we can let you show many flashes of brilliance but then we'll just ask you to run around in circles and fuck your season because you're not fast. Oh, and we don't know anything else to do. Oh, and let's hope your national team coach isn't watching."  

Worked for Isak like

[Kanj]

Nick Woltemade would be a terrific striker if he's got dynamo left and right wingers who are goal seekers. Ie: if he's got a Kvara, Olise, Luis Diaz, Doue type of profile player (to a less world class extent of course) then his ball playing, creativity etc is really good. Those two wide players would need to do the main pressing and Nick's role in that would just need to be less taxing on him given his lack of pace. 

[ElectricWizard]

6 hours ago, Kanj said:

Nick Woltemade would be a terrific striker if he's got dynamo left and right wingers who are goal seekers. Ie: if he's got a Kvara, Olise, Luis Diaz, Doue type of profile player (to a less world class extent of course) then his ball playing, creativity etc is really good. Those two wide players would need to do the main pressing and Nick's role in that would just need to be less taxing on him given his lack of pace. 

Someone posted on another thread about Godts from Ajax for the left side, then imagine Akliouche from Monaco on the right.

[TRon]

9 hours ago, LFEE said:

Listening to POTT and apparently he’s expected to be only 3rd choice CF for Germany.

 

 

He's not been pulling up any trees for the national team either then I take it?

 

I only watched him play one game for Germany after we signed him, and he was invisible in that. 

[HawK]

Can only hope he has a barnstorming WC up front for Germany, prompting questions to Howe of 'why doesn't he do that at Newcastle'. And the answer can only be how Howe chooses us to play. So he'll probably say something like 'That's something we need to work on, it's my job to get the best out of him, he's had a great world cup playing in a different system'. 'Will you change your system to accommodate him Eddie?' 'No'.