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Football pet hates


Guest JonnyRogers

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Americanisation - Such as playing music after a goal is scored, for fucks sake lads don't call it soccer either...

 

Christ, are Americans responsible for that too?

 

If the game was truly Americanized (note the zee, err zed) you'd have this crap to deal with:

* Astroturf

* Gridiron lines on the pitch

* More and more cheerleaders

* Shootouts (no draws, ever)

* Golden goals

* Clocks that run down from 90 to zero

* Quarters: as if a break at the half was not enough (More time for commercials!)

* the goalkeeper only substitution rule (don't ask)

* Derision of the game, American fans, and the rest of the planet from the American sports media and other ignoramuses (roughly 70-80% of the population)

* Washed up eurotrash burnouts that wash up on these shores for that final paycheck

* Landon Donovan

* The phrase "emerging power" in reference to the US National squad.

* FIFA rankings

* The Mexican National squad -- love the country and their fans, but the players in the squad are and always have been a bunch of whinny, cheating, losers.

 

The one thing I do like about the American game is that so far we've avoided the sight of sponsor advertising on club kits. I hate that.

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Coloured football boots - make your players stand out and play worse

 

The Premier League Theme - Man has not created a word yet to describe the uninspiring filler in before the 'proper' music comes on

 

'Thunderstruck' - Of all the AC DC songs the DJ picked this one.  Two Words. Sin City.

 

United - There are around one million teams in the league more entitled to be known as United - and it's not Johnny Come Lately Newton Bloody Heath!

 

Ten yards - is it really that hard to make a team move back ten yards and actually make them stand there.  WWE referees have more awareness of their surroundings than these jokers.

 

 

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Ten yards - is it really that hard to make a team move back ten yards and actually make them stand there.  WWE referees have more awareness of their surroundings than these jokers.

 

I especially hate the ref gesturing "Back.  Come on, move back.  Back to here.  No here, where my arm is.  Back"

 

(No movement whatsoever from the wall, just a little hopping from foot to foot and sideways glances)

 

"OK, that's fine. Pweeeep!"

 

Grow some f****** bollocks!  That also goes for referees who run backwards away from players who are confronting them - They can't knock you out you baldy t***, stand your ground!

 

John Barnes on C5 blatantly reading from cue cards on C5's football night (make it sound natural why don't you)

 

Always said that to me it sounds like his sentences are stuck together like commentary on a crap playstation game.  "Here we are at... Millenium Stadium.  We have a thrilling game for you between highbury... and.... merseyside reds

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Guest KeithKettleborough

Repeatedly being called "Noocarsel" usually by the Cockneys. Robert Lee is one of the worst actually and he had about 10 years practice to get it right!  :idiot2:

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"Professionals" who should be 23 levels better than 99% of fans who can't hit the target from anywhere near the goal.

 

"One-footed" players - work on it in training you bastards!!

 

 

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badge kissing

 

ie: Duff kissing the Chelsea badge  after moving from Blackburn Rovers where he did the same thing previous

Good call. You want your players to kiss the badge, but only if they really love it. If Shearer did it when playing for us, then fine or Gerrard for Liverpool, but it'd just be embarrassing seeing Emre do it. Not having a dig at Emre, by the way.

 

PS. Would love to see Martins kissing the badge in a few years, when he's the best in the world ;)

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Guest alijmitchell

1. Mark Lawrenson - the most odious man in football.

2. Non - celebrations for goals (smug bastards like Henry piss me off, they don't even look happy when they've scored)

3. 'ushering' the ball out for a goal kick - a lot of the time it is blatantly fouling one player, and anywhere else on the pitch would be obstruction.

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Repeatedly being called "Noocarsel" usually by the Cockneys. Robert Lee is one of the worst actually and he had about 10 years practice to get it right!  :idiot2:

 

Bit off topic, though perhaps not now we have the Gooch, but I hate the way Americans pronounce Newcastle. Always hear it at the Arena when they're shouting the name of the city to get a cheer. Last night it was Rihanna then the Pussycat Dolls doing it. CRINGE.

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All the crap clichés...

 

"Part and parcel of the game..."

"I've held my hands up and said..."

"Flatter to deceive..."

"There or thereabouts..."

"A great piece of skill..." (whoever heard of a crap piece of skill?)

"They've set out their stall..."

 

et cetera

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Guest andynufc84

 

I know its been mentioned but it has to be the 'EASY EASY EASY EASY' bollocks

 

i thought it was sort of amusing first time on soccer am but now its f*cking ridiculous at football grounds

 

i thought it would start to lose popularity and die off, but its STILL going, its an embarassment

 

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