BlueStar

One problem...

Willo pls :/

BT Sport apologising for the quality of the match "We do have some other sport coming up later"

Shot on target!

Imagine walking into Sports Direct and asking the lass behind the counter for that.

The infinite possibilities of the human mind, the unrestricted freedom of a fantasy world free of the constraints of reality and you're not on a yacht with Cheryl Cole, you're looking at Alan Pardew's teamsheet. Stupid subconscious.

I think it was a snowball effect after someone got their phone out and started comparing me to photos of Pardew.

Oh, and now John Torode. Has he nutted anyone yet?

Someone told me I look like Alan Pardew today Although later the same day someone told me I look like Alec Baldwin.

"Malky hasn't murdered anyone, he hasn't raped anyone and he is not a paedophile." What's this called, damning with faint praise?

LAD Managers Association #bantz

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/transfer-news/alan-pardew-confirms-bid-cheick-7652601 Alan Pardew has confirmed that Cheick Tiote is a target of Lokomotiv Moscow. The Russian Premier League club bid £4million for his services earlier this month but that figure is some way off Newcastle’s valuation of the player.

Scope for chants. Ayew, get off of my cloud?

Colback was a decent contender for motm for us to be fair, and I've been calling him a cunt.

Zero shots on target pretty much sums it up, some good build up play (if a little laborious at times when we needed to break) but never really thought we would actually bury it. Didn't even start to rise out my seat when it fell to Sissoko because I knew what was coming. Young lads looked good, Aaron can't half jump like (/stereotype). Also, what's the fucking point of the magic spray if you just ignore people stepping over it, howay

Neon boots don't go with this strip, every one of our lot wearing them anyway.

NUFC: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Anita, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella, Gouffran, Riviere. Subs: Elliot, Haidara, S.Taylor, Abeid, Obertan, Aarons, Perez. MCFC: Hart, Clichy, Kompany ©, Demichelis, Kolarov, Fernando, Toure, Nasri, Silva, Jovetic, Dzeko. Subs: Caballero, Boyata, Zabaleta, Milner, Fernandinho, Navas, Aguero. Referee: Martin Atkinson (Leeds). Attendance: 50,816. Final Score: 0 - 2 '38 - Silva '90 - Aguero Booked: Janmaat Kolorov Fernando Kompany Demichelis Silva Sent off: - Post-match reaction can be found from here: http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php/topic,95641.msg5154458.html#msg5154458 Television coverage: Sky Sports 1 Radio coverage: BBC Radio 5 Live, BBC Radio Newcastle. Online radio coverage outside the UK: www.nufc.co.uk. Yes, that means you have to pay. PLEASE DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DISCUSS, REQUEST OR PROVIDE LINKS TO ILLEGAL MATCH STREAMS. IF YOU DO, YOU WILL BE BANNED. See www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/index.php?topic=19161.0 for more information.

Quinn and Souness, fucking hell, the holy water must be boiling in the St James' Park chapel the whole time they're there.

35 points with Lovren, Jovetic and Fabregas to play, pretty standard.

One of my mates has used his wildcard

Food poisoning hits the squad at the last minute. Ben Arfa, having not been invited to lunch, is spared and has to lead a motley crew of youth teamers to an unlikely victory, bagging a hatrick with a crimson Pardew screaming at him to track back the entire time. Pardew grabs him by the collar as he comes off the pitch, but Shearer runs from the back and clocks Pards with a chair. Metal remix of Local Hero reverberates around the stadium.

It's OK, he's at Man U

I blame you!

Tried to transfer in Alex Bruce, accidentally chose Steve instead. Too late to change it.

Swapped in Davies. I'm coming for you if Dawson plays and scores an unlikely screamer