BlueStar

Sorry to disappoint, but this is the original

Due to some witchcraft the black stripes on my home top don't show up on the infrared camera on my doorbell.

Half are them are things that have closed down Aye it's mint being from Sunderland, we've got the site of the former brewery, the derelict pop factory. Remember C&A, the long-bankrupt chain store that was on every highstreet in the country? Aye, we had one of them too.

It got worse when we swapped to smartcards and never got any better. It's because the average age in the East Stand is like 85 and putting a phone on a pad and keeping it there until it beeps is too technologically complex. Got to the ground the same time as my mate who sits in the LEazes, he walked straight in without having to quque, I was stuck outside for 15 minutes.

Angelic

He's definitely a fan though, know someone who went to school with him and he was absolutely Newcastle daft.

Aye, had a fiddle which included swapping Bruno for Anderson, either he'll force his way into the team or be used to cover injury and I'll look a genius for having a useful 4.5 midfieler or he'll just sit on my bench and free up cash elsewhere.

Knocked this up a while back and I've not been paying enough attention to pre-season. Any glaring issues, non-starters, manegerial fall-outs etc I;m not aware of?

I like the way the banner correctly identifies the big four

My mum's experience with seeing if she can get in with her non NFC phone by scanning the barcode

Got a notification someone had liked a post in the Shola thread, thought "I don't remember posting in the Shola thread." No wonder, it's a post I made when Gordon Brown was prime minister.

Feel for her having to announce it in a second language but was like a Two Ronnies sketch "Was it a goal"? "No, offside" "No offside?" "No, goal." "No goal?" "No offside, so no. Goal" "No? Offside? So no goal?"

London has young drill gangs putting out sends for each other on Snapchat, we have the fucking type-2 crew pulling this shit.

Maybe when it comes to aging West End Newcastle radgies there is no right side. Maybe the only way to win the game is not to play at all.

Might have got a bit more if you held your phone the right way round ffs.

With club commentary

There absolutely wouldn't be 40 pages of fewm and outrage about how he was dead to them on RTG if we hadn't been bought by PIF. There'd be a few grumbles of disappointment, some posts of good on him and that would be it.

This one had variations as well