thomas

I wish real life was filled with as many petty proxy wars between rich cunts as TV shows and movies would have me believe.

Tim "listen - I ain't gonna forget about this by the time we hit the motorway ... some might" Sherwood please enlighten us on player management. Looked like he wanted to shank someone after every game

needed Careless Whisper to blare to life halfway through that tweet

"we are ready" is killing me all liverpool are waiting on is a trail of rose petals leading upstairs to a candlelit bedroom and newcastle presenting on all fours with a note reading "go in dry"

i hope there's one last shank stashed away and it's isak going anywhere but liverpool

seems like the snide type who would enjoy the challenge

it's lived longer than 8 minutes without craig hope executing it mobland style so there might be legs.

You know what else isn't a good look? going into the season without an isak or wilson replacement. Regardless of how we got to this position - and god knows you could waste years relitigating this window and proposing "if you had a time machine would you kill baby hitler or mitchell" hypotheticals - it's the one we find ourselves in and the one we need to fix FAST. Having our names on the "Didn't Pay Over The Odds 🏆 " cup will be scant relief to going out of the CL in group stages again and finishing 16th.

dock his pay and ruin his fun, make him train with U-21s, keep him away from his first team mates that's what alex isak hates

wild that we win that 4-0 if not for a certain unnamed scando and his histrionics cheers mate cheers no yeah let's get you a new contract and reintegrated, actually scratch that, better idea, how about i tie your limbs to four different horses and fire a gun in the air

rip

EAT ALL THE DICKS LIVERPOOL

cancelling two meetings to watch this carnage fest. please don't disappoint

can we land anyone? anyone please? just to prove we can do it really. I get we don't want to "buy just to buy". but like going home with a 3 post breakup, you're only doing it for the confidence not forever.

Romano's so lucky the bar for "shittest italian" is so high

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Maybe we just insist on buyout clauses from now on for superstars to avoid this clownishness, and make sure they understand that any bid below it won't even be considered

We used to actually vote on it then the whole world went woke

clearly leaving the door open for a return (would be a pain to reupload them all)

every "plausible deniability" theory just got blown up, resurrected by a haitian witch doctor, and then killed a second time

edit: safety

shyamalan-esque ending to the window

swap deal with barca for ramos and two youth prospects from their academy that would probably walk into half the teams in the league. i do think real life is FM, yes, but also why not at least ask

Well gosh, what do you even mean by "money"? that's one of the toughest words out there bucko. And you've got to unpack so much there if you want to arrive at any truth.