Keefaz

We can't afford a massive clear-out, so I'm going to prepare myself for another underwhelming close season.

It does look a bit like it just says NUF which makes us sound like a trade union or something.

A lot of people do seem to watch a lot of football, personally I couldn't give a shit about any team other than Newcastle but not everybody feels that way. My kids will watch anybody, I'll not. Aye, but neebody watches Belgian football, ffs. Not even the feckin Belgians.

Harsh on N. Ireland, but I think they can still do it assuming Healy doesn't snap his legs or something. See ya, Fulham, you won't be missed.

You are right. Is Oliver Shepherd's mouthpiece or vice versa!? He's a ringpiece and he's Shepherd's mouthpiece: you can't deny that's talent.

Quite like that old City one. I can't remember seeing a bad Newcastle crest, tbh. The 50s/60s ones are a bit fancy, but still nice.

That bit, I think, was actually written by a young urchin he found lying in the street.

Christ. Reads like he was pissed while writing it. Anyway, this Morris fella must have his finger on the pulse of European football if he went to a FC Sion match.

Saw Tony Adams' goal in their title-winning match against Everton on telly last night. Always brings a smiled to my face, even though I'm not an Arsenal fan or owt: never seen a bloke look so happy with himself on a football pitch.

Tbh, I'm gobsmacked that he'll sit next to FFS week in, week out. I suppose when you get to SBR's age you can look on things a little more philosophically.

Yes, but only if we don't get an influx of French rubbish. Even when we get a decent French player, he turns out to be a wanker and disruptive.

This seems as good a place as any to say I'm copyrighting the phrase 'Sam's Toon' and all variations thereof. If you'd like to use it in a post or thread topic, PM me and we'll discuss terms. Also: 'She looks fly, she looks fly: makes me say my, my, my'.

No Work for them? It's not some huge fucking organisation! It's just two lads with a feckin website!

Lovely, soft-focus shot there. Looks like an Andrex puppy.

Have you been dazzled by his crossing? Corners? His freekicks? His long range shooting? I think 'dazzled' would be a touch strong but he's been one of the best two or three players on the pitch every single match.

Milner's been one of the very few bright patches we've had this season. Coming up to 53 appearances this season: where'd we be without him?

Sounds familiar Bwahahaha!

Tbf, the best thing they've done is turned down the chance to have a parade. That would've been small-time as fuck.

Nice to have 'em back, tbh. The mackem at work today: Their supporters are fucking delusional.

Sadly, this is true. After World War III the only things that are going to be left are Kieron Dyer and those things that hang around volcanic vents deep in the ocean. Imagine the feckin kids! Shit at rebuilding the planet but they can fucking run fast.

I can tell you haven't read much football journalism, then.

Is this really a debatable issue? We're talking about Kieron Dyer, here, man: he's fucking shit, he couldn't give a fucking monkey's, and he's pissed all over this club for years, and he's actually geting worse! He's a poorer player now than he was when we signed him from feckin Ipswich!

Tbh, I've been at loads of matches and had to wait to get home to find out what actually happened in such and such a situation. It's fucking obvious there's pros and cons about both ways of watching a match.

It pisses people like you off. It doesn't actually, i just wondered. What exactly is gained from it? No idea. Which thread were you alluding to? I think we can find out who they are and get them put into some kind of councelling or something.

I am honestly amazed that people are willing to give him another chance. Are you lot abused spouses?