Keefaz

I'll be you 100 pound he's here come August. I won't take you up on that, but I don't see how he could possibly stay. How can we afford to let an asset like that possibly walk away on a Bosman? If he doesn't want to sign an extension--and I'm pretty sure he doesn't--we'd be mad not to cash in while we still have the chance.

He's going. It's a shame it didn't work out for him here as we could've got 2/3 good seasons out of him and eased the transition from the Shearer age to post-Shearer. I mean, if his entire body wasn't made out of jolly ranchers.

Bent is a better player than Martins by some way at the minute, I'd say. I don't know how much Martins will improve, but Owen is no guarantee of goals either given his injury problems.

What would stop Coppell from naming the club? Maybe it's somewhere unpronouncable like ŠK Aqua Turčianske Teplice.

Let's just get Boumsong back to babysit him. He wouldn't actually have to play football, just hang around.

Was expecting a load of shit, but I wasn't expecting Michael Owen to get injured again. So in many ways this exceeded my expectations.

Well, what a load of shit.

Yes.

I bet Pattison feels shit.

Might be dodgy as not only did Derek Wright come on, but also the team doctor.

Like to see someone buy him now.

Butt concedes a dubious pen.

Tevez scores.

Dyer pulls out another 'good enough' performance that will save his arse yet again.

It would've been almost acceptable if he mentioned the words 'goal' or 'scores' somewhere.

"Commits...the...Foster...Solano what a ball...keeper...slides it...what a ball..." He was banging on about the pass so much I thought Dyer must've missed.

Mick Lowes took about 3 years to tell us there was a goal.

Given Could've sworn Mick Lowes just said Dyer was captain.

Is Dyer captain?

Surprised what with all the calls for a total clearout, rebuilding from the bottom up, giving the manager time, etc. that there's still a few folk who seem to want instant success.

'My great-grandmother used to say, "A Russian is a Russian even when you boil him in butter." She meant those in power, of course, not the man in the street.'

This rings a bell now. Boro came up automatically, but how did the play-offs work?

I was wondering today how it worked when the PL was reduced to 20. I know it happened when Blackburn won the league, but how did it work? Did the bottom three get relegated and only one 1st Div team allowed up? Or was it 4 down and 2 up? Or what? I'm sure I knew at the time, but I can't for the life of me remember.

If that's the case, ban me. I suspect it might be best if we just closed the forum for about a month.

I wonder what this board'll be like if we only just manage to survive relegation next season.