Bad Mongo

It'll be Mons Ivar Mjelde. As the first manager to bring SK Brann the league title since 1963, he has proven that he can work just the kind of miracles Newcastle need.

Kinda reminds me of watching some international tournament on Swedish television, who were very concerned with getting the correct Danish pronunciation for the name Bøgelund, which is Swedish for Homosexual Grove.

It's like that with most of them, isn't it? I don't think Manure would end up lower than 6th if they had to rely on Carr on right back (provided he wasn't injured all the time -- although they could forget about winning the league). AFAICT, our problem isn't so much that we lack overall quality, but that we lack some specific qualities, namely distribution from midfield and (intelligent) movement up front. Oh, and a clone of Faye so that he can play DMC and CB at the same time. Most of our players (Carr, Shola and probably Rozy excepted) could do a job if the side was set up to accommodate them, so that we're able to play to their strengths.

Parker rarely passed the ball to the opposition. Then again, he rarely passed the ball forwards either.

I vaguely remember Carr playing DM once or twice under Souness, and not doing to bad. It might be an idea trying him there, as he's far too slow to be a fullback, but still should be able to break up play with his big, fat body.

Smith was pretty decent, if you consider he was playing for Stoke.

Wow. I think we only have two players out with injuries now. But why isn't Milner even on the bench?

Paul Scharner scores against the Mackems.

Didn't he just get an offer to coach Helsingborg? Also, we already have Viduka as an old, immobile striker.

Is that you, Mark Viduka?

At the beginning of the season, almost everyone thought Arsenal were on the way down, Spurs to beat them for fourth, etc., and Liverpool would play exciting attacking football with Torres and that other guy. When you see Spurs where they are, it feels good to have been wrong. I voted for Liverpool.

What a smug fucker. That's only because Arsenal were "interested" in him... Actually, it was because it's his hollyday. Besides, he's obviously not getting first team football if they only offer him a trial. So he'll want to stay in Norway, probably playing for a different club, instead of having his career ruined by working as a bench warmer.

According to Norwegian TV2, Newcastle offered 23 year old Norway goalkeeper Rune Allmenning Jarstein a trial, which he turned down. So it's possible we're looking for a new keeper.

If we just tried <i>at all</i>. We just didn't look like we were <i>trying</i>, never mind trying playing <i>good</i> football. We look unfit.

Really really bad. Abysmal. I thought BSA was supposed to have a hard training regime, but we look completely out of form, walking or jogging when Liverpool run all the time.

I remember someone on this board saying the likes of Tottenham, Everton, or even we should have had Rosenborg's spot in the Champions League, since they are so crap. It would make the competition more interesting, apparently. I'm impressed. And I'm no supporter of Rosenborg.

I agree with this. Souness had a terrible fitness regime (even if you disregard the injuries -- how many times did we come back from behind to get even a draw under him?) and no apparent tactics. He also spent £18M on Luque and Boumsong. He's got far more authority, though. I'd recommend him to teams struggling to stay in the Premiership, like Sunderland and Tottenham. Roeder is probably not a Premier League quality manager at all, but I'm not so sure he would fail with a youth team or in the lower divisions, with fewer primadonnas.

Brugge 1 - 2 Brann. Brann wins on away goals.

Red card to Brugge's Jeroen Simaeys.

I think it's too early to say whether there's something wrong with our team. The midfield is clearly not working well, but then we lack Emre, Barton and Duff, N'Zogbia has had to play LB (the alternative is probably to use a CB who can't contribute to the attack, or to play an unfit Enrique), and Milner has had to play on the left (and he's been poor so far this season compare to last). We still don't know what kind of midfield or attack Sam would field if we had those players available for their preferred positions. I hope and believe we'll use one attacking midfielder (Zog?) in addition to one holding (Butt/Geremi) and one box-to-box (Barton, and perhaps the idea was that Smith could hold that role as well, which he seemed to do today). I know it's unpopular to blame injuries these days, but our injuries are very unevenly balanced. Last year, it was the defence, in addition to the rest of the team. Now it's the attack, and the link-up to the attack. We still haven't seen what Barton, Duff and Emre will be used for, or whether Zog and Milner will be preferred in their preferred positions. In other words, we still have some things to look forward to, even though we seem distinctly mediocre right now.

Who's the joker that voted Souness?

SK Brann 0 - Club Brugge 1. Shameful performance.

It's just a test of our reflexes. The knees are jerking just fine.

FFS, we've only lost one game this season. "Watch the results", yes. You mean "watch the result": one single game.

Christ. You've just suffered three years of Souness and Roeder. Not only do you lack imagination, you lack memory. I'm not going to reason with you, just ask you to see a doctor.