Ashley17

Pitch is being watered. Ready for some slickness

No. FA Cup winners don't

Hopefully they lose to Fenerbahce.

Possibly. He didn't get booked so if anything he's better than his best

Not sure if serious?

Carroll/Nolan/Maiga/Allardyce, bloody West Ham. Nothing to fear with these, if there is no Carroll. Biggest annoyance is the amount of shitty time wasting we'll see from these cunts if they're leading or drawing, same every year with Sam's teams. Get a hold of Diame and let Ben Arfa loose and we can win

Auto-sub only happens at the end of the gameweek

Lukaku does well coming on against tired bodies, or at least he did that a few times for WBA. Give it an hour of Torres wank, get Lukaku on, score twice, start him on Wednesday, everybody happy. More realistically, Torres scores (Torres is back!!!!11) Lukaku gets 5 minutes at the end. No minutes on Wednesday.

"He had a difficult time in the north east, but that happens to us all" Probably the only funny thing Steve Bruce has ever said

20 Lambert is doing nothing to cut down smoking

I absolutely hate the obsession with one touch passing in football now. Great when it works but as a nation we're desperate to be Spain, with none of the quality

Why have they put his hairstyle in brackets after his name?

He's on every fucking billboard for BT, that worked out well

Ah, oh well.

BT sport is free tonight btw

Finally things are starting to move if we have Bale to Madrid and Soldado to Spurs. Just need Suarez & Rooney to go and the boring saga's are all nearly over. Except ours of course.

Jamie Redknapp you utter cretin. He tweeting in the first person now like?

Can't sell him if he's fucked

There's only Debuchy starting tonight who started on Sunday, before the lists of "zomg injuries"

Probably just putting Gosling in the shop window. Still, seems a bit pointless.

Can anyone translate Ryder?

Well, at home to Ukranians, but your point stands

We'll probably sign a centre half if Williamson leaves, and not a moment sooner.

Yes it'd be a nasty surprise to find out we aren't very good.

Win. Find negatives.