Nate

Over/under on the collective IQ of Tiote, Cisse & Sissoko? Extraordinary.

Could we at least keep the navel-gazing apathy out of the match threads? Fucking hell.

Villa aren't even playing particularly cohesively; it's a free-for-all.

Williamson at the back post is now also the go-to move for set pieces in our own half.

Qualifying for Europe, a distant fear ambition.

Nah. No way I will miss him. No way. Nah. Joy.

'He keeps things within his genre of game' Why do they bother, man.

You have to laugh or you'll cry at that point. Extraordinary.

Over to SSR.

That decision was funny as fuck, mind.

Shearer's earning his money here, like. Why do they bother?

There's Arteta in his bib. Feels like their season's peaked.

'The highlights of this season must be the signing of Özil, the rejuvenation of Ramsey... and of course the return on the bench today of Arteta.' Righto.

Who the fuck is Tony?

Surprisingly deft touch from Rickie Lambert.

WHICH THREAD ARE WE GOING TO USE.

Fantastic to think it's been eight years since the Lampard/Gerrard partnership became an issue and here they both are

Where's Ashley Cole gone? We're all over the place down the right.

http://imageshack.us/a/img96/6639/rn8g.jpg

You have to laugh, really. Beyond parody. Could this be a declaration of war upon Pardew? It's feasible that they want rid of him but have backed themselves into a corner regarding compensation. Can't bring myself to accept this at face value.

Actually makes me angry that he's paid to comment on football When are broadcasters going to begin handing out these jobs on merit? Too many thick-as-shit former players knocking about repeating the same twenty phrases week in, week out.

Suárez has been careless and Downing did his best to break down every passing move whilst he was on the pitch. They're pretty impressive overall mind, could be tempted into believing Rodgers is laying strong foundations there.

West Ham's reponse to their fan's daring to 'Olé' a few consecutive passes: instant long ball.

Diame channeling Hatem. Downing off injured, Sturridge on.